01/10/2026
My precious daughter is so intelligent that I sometimes forget she is only 3 years old. While pushing her to be independent and confident, I sometimes find myself setting expectations that she is not developmentally ready to meet.
Going potty, for example, was turning into a painstakingly slow, defiant and adversarial event. When asked to use the potty independently she will forget to wipe, flush etc and then fib to us about it only for us to find a nice surprise later. When I joined her in the potty, I would be frustrated by her slow pace and lack of focus.
I turned to a good friend for advise who reminded me she likely still needs more support. I implemented the strategies below and our potty time has become much more pleasant and time efficient, and I still feel like I am fostering her independence. I hope this helps for anyone in this phase!
Be Present: While she is capable of going to the bathroom on her own, she is rarely able to complete all the steps on her own in a time efficient manner. She forgets steps, wants to rush back to play or just gets distracted by bath toys. I realized she is not quite ready for bathroom privacy and still needs some coaching.
Visual Prompts: We posted the pictured sign in the bathroom. I explained it to my daughter and she was able to explain it back to me. Now, instead of me telling her what to do, I can simply ask, "what's next?" She can take a look at her sign and execute on her own. Then I get to praise her! Sometimes she even checks her sign without prompting which is helping her gain bathroom independence.
Time Challenges: She wants to do everything by herself like a big girl, but sometimes we are moving at the pace of molasses. Luckily, she loves a good time challenge. Phrases such as, "do you think you can finish wiping before I count to 10?" and "I'm going to flush before you do..." all get her moving! And when she beats me/the clock to the task she is all smiles.
If you are looking for a pediatrician, we would love to welcome you to our practice. I am accepting new patients at Casas Pediatrics for all your family’s questions and pediatric needs, more information:
https://casaspediatrics.com/
520-751-3675