05/23/2025
“Fairness, Feelings & Communication”
In a session, the husband shared that he wants the rules in their marriage to apply to both of them equally. He said, “If it’s not okay for me, it shouldn’t be okay for you either. I’m asking for consistency, not control.”
The wife explained that she’s working on being more emotionally open, which hasn’t always been easy for her. She said, “When I’m honest about how I feel, I’m not trying to start conflict. I need you to listen and not shut me down. I’m learning how to be more vulnerable.”
The challenge wasn’t a lack of effort—it was how they each interpreted the other’s behavior during tough moments.
He felt she could express frustration freely while he had to stay silent.
She felt he missed the emotional risk it took for her to even speak up.
We focused on helping them slow down and clarify their intentions instead of reacting.
They’re now working on asking simple, clear questions like:
“What did you hear me say?”
“What do you need from me in this moment?”
Both want to feel respected, heard, and emotionally safe.
And that starts with communication that works for both people—even when it’s uncomfortable.
