10/22/2024
What Are the Different Narcissist Family Roles?
Within a narcissistic family, distinct roles often emerge.
The narcissist is the dominating force, seeking admiration and control. The enabler perpetuates dysfunction by accommodating the narcissist.
The golden child receives excessive praise and privileges, while the scapegoat is unfairly blamed for family issues.
In my own life story, these roles played a profound part, influencing our family’s course and our individual journeys.
To understand the dynamics of narcissistic families, here’s a more detailed look at each role:
The Narcissist
The narcissist, often with narcissistic personality disorder or strong narcissistic tendencies, serves as the central figure in a narcissistic family.
In my life, my mother embodied this role, prioritizing her desires above all else.
Her insatiable need for admiration, coupled with manipulation and narcissistic abuse, cast a shadow over our family life.
Her quest for validation created an environment of fear and subservience, significantly impacting our emotional well-being.
The Enabler
The enabler, typically the spouse of the narcissist, plays a pivotal role within the family structure.
They may genuinely believe they are providing assistance. However, the enabler inadvertently perpetuates the dysfunction by making up excuses for the narcissist.
In my life, my father was the enabler, unintentionally allowing my mother’s actions to go unchecked.
This dynamic created a turbulent atmosphere within the family, with the enabler failing to address the harmful behaviors of the narcissistic family member.
The Golden Child
The golden child is often seen as an extension of the narcissistic parent and takes on the role of the favored one in the family.
The narcissistic parent may shower them with excessive praise, attention, and privileges. Sometimes, they may even develop narcissistic traits themselves because of this.
My sister took on this role. But as the golden child, she bore the weight of meeting our narcissistic mother’s unattainable expectations.
Growing up, she often grappled with self-esteem issues while being enmeshed in the narcissistic family dynamics.
The Scapegoat
The family scapegoat is the family member who is blamed for any and all issues in the family. They become the primary recipient of criticism, anger, and manipulation.
As my family’s scapegoat child, I carried the heavy burden of shouldering blame for any family issues or shortcomings.
But understanding these roles was the initial step in my personal healing journey. It allowed me to grasp the dysfunction that had haunted our family for so long.
I was able to find the strength to break free from the cycle of dysfunction, seek therapy, establish boundaries, and embrace my path toward authentic self-discovery.
This process enabled me to reclaim my autonomy and pursue healthier, more meaningful relationships outside the family.
What is it like to have a narcissistic family structure? I've been there, here is how you can deal with it and learn about its characteristics.
