Shelly King, MA, LPC

29/09/2024

As I mark the 15th birth and death anniversary of my daughter, I appreciate these words from Megan Devine.

02/04/2024

Dating with Purpose - the Science and Spirituality of Dating.

We begin Mon 4/8, 6:00-8:00p MST, via Zoom for 4 weeks. Cost is $150. Click below to learn more and register. Happy to chat with anyone that has questions before they sign up.

This class is based in attachment theory, somatic/nervous system regulation and energy, intuition and spiritual practices.

The science and spirituality of dating: create the relationship you want! Heal from your past relationships & get intentional with what's next

11/03/2024

Stacia and I had so much fun teaching this the first time, we're doing it again! If you or anyone you know would like help with your/their dating and relationship journey, please join us for Dating with Purpose. We begin on Monday April 8th via Zoom, 6:00-8:00p MST for four weeks. Find out more and register here:

The science and spirituality of dating: create the relationship you want! Heal from your past relationships & get intentional with what's next

01/01/2024

Dating with Purpose - the Science and Spirituality of Dating starts in one week! We begin on Monday 1/8, 6-8p MST via Zoom for 4 weeks. Link for more info and to register below. Please share with anyone you know who may be interested. Thank you!

The science and spirituality of dating: create the relationship you want! Heal from your past relationships & get intentional with what's next

21/12/2023

Navigating the ups and downs of the dating world? Would you like some tools to help you on the journey? This class is designed with all of that in mind!

15/12/2023

So excited!! More info about the dating class I’ll be co-teaching with Stacia Synnestvedt, Spiritual Teacher & Intuitive Healer. Can.not.wait!

13/12/2023

I’m soooo excited to co-teach this 4 week dating class with Stacia Synnestvedt, Spiritual Teacher & Intuitive Healer!! If you would like to add in some fun and creative support on your dating journey, full of self reflection and next steps, please join us!

We begin on Monday 1/8/24, 6-8p MST

Dating with Purpose: The Science & Spirituality of Dating

A 4-week online gathering to understand & reset from you past | identify your triggers, expectations & attachment styles | get clear on what you want to create in your dating experience | start to take intentional action to manifest the relationship you desire
January 8, 15, 22 & 29th, 2024
6-8pm, MT | 4-weeks | Zoom | $150

More details, and sign up:
https://courses.wooversity.com/dating-with-purpose/

02/12/2023

So important! Shifting out of shame takes you out of the victim role, so you can appropriately repair with your partner who you have hurt.

30/11/2023

One of my favorite quotes of all time is from Byron Katie: “When I argue with reality, I lose. But only 100% of the time.” ⁣
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How do you know when you’re arguing with reality? You say things like:⁣
* “How can I get my partner to…?”⁣
* “You should want to…”⁣
* “If they could just…”⁣
This. Is. So. Hard.⁣
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From where I stand:⁣
* Dwelling in possibility is an effing super power.⁣
* Believing in someone’s capacity is badass.⁣
And, in order to avoid becoming a crusty, angry, martyr, your ability to imagine more for someone must be tempered with you ability to detach from outcome.⁣
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I remember many, many, many a supervisor of mine in grad school calling me out for wanting my clients to change more than my clients wanted to change. ⁣
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Guilty as charged⁣
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But the opposite of cajoling is not resignation.⁣
Its acceptance.⁣
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RESIGNATION is a hostile detachment is the consequence of having exhausted yourself because you were operating from an egoic need to prove your own power by facilitating change in another. ⁣
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Yeah. I said what I said!!! ⁣
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The desire to make someone else different is often fueled by a desire to feel like your perspective matters.⁣
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Resignation sounds like this:⁣
* “Fine.”⁣
* “Have it your way.”⁣
* “I’m tagging out.”⁣
* “Whatever.”⁣
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ACCEPTANCE is more moderated. It’s a willingness to hold a tension. To sit in a dynamic space of: I don’t love what’s happening here AND I am working to sit evermore comfortably in the limits of my power.⁣
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Acceptance opens new possibilities:⁣
* Grief.⁣
* Appreciating what is being offered.⁣
* Sourcing your need elsewhere.⁣
* Shifting focus more toward yourself and/or to other relationships.⁣
Acceptance is courageous surrender.⁣

28/11/2023

Yes!

We are the sum total of the experiences that brought us to this very moment. The past comes with us. When we fall in love, our past gets stirred within us. ⁣
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There is NO getting around that. ⁣
It's necessary vulnerability. ⁣
It's part of the process. ⁣
It happens. ⁣
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The ONLY questions, is what will you DO when your past is stirred ~ when ghosts from long ago threaten to shift you from open to closed, from loving to afraid, from calm to controlling. ⁣
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The most important quality to look for in a partner is someone who can sit with you in that stir... ⁣
your stir AND their stir. ⁣
Choose someone who is ready, willing, and able to recognize when their past takes the wheel and begins to drive. ⁣
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You will be, as my brilliant friend Esther says, cast in a play that you didn't audition for. Thanis going to happen…⁣
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You'll ask him to throw the laundry into the dryer, and you'll watch him bristle. ⁣
And you won’t know why. ⁣
And the question is this: Can he be courageous enough to PAUSE, turn his attention inward, and figure out why your request triggers him? ⁣
Can he say some version of this: "Ahh... it's my childhood wound getting in our way again. You know, one in which I 'cast' you in the role of my demanding father in whose eyes I could never measure up. That's not what you're doing, is it? You need some help. You feel stressed out. I can help. Here I am. Here for you." ⁣

And you will both exhale.⁣
And connection will be restored.⁣
And the little boy who felt like he never measured up recedes to the background and the empowered adult reaches for his partner in the service of love.⁣
And you will say, “Thank you for owning your piece of our dance. I commit to doing the same when the little boy/girl/child who lives in me gets stirred.”⁣
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(Choose the pronouns that fit the protagonists of your love story 🥰)⁣
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That's the best we can do.... work again and again to liberate ourselves and our partners from wounds we didn't ask for but are tasked to heal.

23/11/2023

Grieving and grateful. 🤎

Here it is, the 4th Thursday in November. Grief is hard any time of year, but the holidays can feel particularly brutal. And Thanksgiving can be the hardest holiday of the bunch for grieving folks. It’s centered on community and gratitude, and all of it seems to highlight the empty place at the table.⁣

It's hard to feel thankful when you're grieving.
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Gratitude gets presented to grieving folks as a cure for their ills: “At least you had them for as long as you did. Be thankful for the memories.”⁣ Parents grieving the death of a child are often told to be thankful for their remaining children.⁣
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None of this is helpful.⁣

Gratitude and grief don’t cancel each other out, they sit side by side.⁣

There are ways to celebrate and acknowledge the holiday that don’t unintentionally make things worse for grieving folks. It’s far more helpful to find gratitude for things that help us survive, things that companion you exactly where you are, things that give you even a tiny bit of comfort.⁣

It's also ok to not feel grateful. Remember that you can choose to ignore this or any other holiday, no matter what anyone else says.⁣
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Wherever you are in the world, I hope your fourth Thursday in November has at least a few moments of peace inside of it. I wish you true reasons for gratitude, inside yourself: the company of real friends, the relief of solitude, and the shelter of love in all its forms.