Amos Counseling, 1131 n 21 Street (2025)

26/10/2025

Emotional episodes can feel like chaos.
But beneath the surge, there’s often something sacred: a signal, a story, a seed.

When we meet emotional intensity with compassion and curiosity, we open the door to growth.
Not in spite of the pain — but through it.

In this final post, we’ll explore how ACT and DBT help us find meaning in emotional episodes

ACT: Meaning-Making Through Values

ACT teaches us that pain is part of the human experience — and that suffering often points to what matters most.

Emotional episodes reveal:
- What we care about
- What we fear losing
- What beliefs we hold
- What values we want to live

By staying present and choosing values, we transform pain into purpose.

DBT: Radical Acceptance & Emotional Integration

DBT offers **radical acceptance** — the practice of fully acknowledging reality without judgment or resistance.

When we radically accept an emotional episode, we stop fighting the storm.
We start listening to it.

This opens space for emotional integration — the process of weaving pain into our story, not as a flaw, but as a thread of growth.

The Gifts of Emotional Episodes

Emotional episodes can reveal:
- Unmet needs
- Hidden values
- Old wounds
- New directions

They can deepen empathy, strengthen boundaries, and clarify purpose.
They can help us rewrite the story we tell ourselves — with more truth, more tenderness, more power.

Think of an emotional episode that changed you.
- What did it teach you?
- What value did it reveal?
- What belief did you rewrite?
- What gift did it leave behind?

This is post-episode wisdom.

Emotional episodes aren’t just storms — they’re seeds.
They carry the potential for growth, healing, and transformation.
ACT helps us choose meaning. DBT helps us stay grounded.
Together, they help us heal forward.

Thank you for walking this 6-day journey. May your emotional compass always point toward truth, tenderness, and transformation.

25/10/2025

Emotional episodes are crossroads. When the storm hits, we might react with fear, anger, or avoidance.
The path we choose matters. Because pain doesn’t have to be purposeless.

In this post, we’ll explore how ACT’s **values** and DBT’s **opposite action** help us choose direction when emotion pulls us off course. Not because the storm is less — but because you are more.

ACT: Charting Values in the Storm

In ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy), **values** are described as deep, guiding principles that lead us toward a life of meaning.

Values don’t disappear when emotions surge. They become lighthouses.
They show us what kind of person we want to be, even now.

Examples:
- Feeling angry → value honesty
- Feeling shame → value self-compassion
- Feeling hurt → value connection
By choosing values over urges, we turn pain into a **path**.

DBT: Opposite Action as a Compass

DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) offers a concrete tool for navigating emotional episodes: **opposite action**.

The idea is to identify an emotion-driven urge — and then choose a value-driven action instead.

Examples:
- Urge to lash out → opposite action: speak calmly
- Urge to withdraw → opposite action: reach out
- Urge to escape → opposite action: stay present
Opposite action isn’t about suppressing emotion; it’s about choosing bravery over reflex.

Values & Opposite Action in the Episode

Here’s the reframe: emotional episodes aren’t just problems to survive.
They’re opportunities to practice who we want to be **right now**.

You have a choice:
- To lash out or speak your truth
- To numb or lean into the ache
- To blame or take accountability

ACT and DBT give you maps and flashlights.
The path is yours to choose.

Reflect on this:
- Think of a recent emotional episode.
- What did it pull you toward?
- What value could have guided you instead?
- What opposite action might you choose next time?

This is values in the storm.

Final Thought

You don’t have to **like** the storm.
You don’t have to make it **good**.
But you can make it matter — on your terms, by your values, with courage.
Tomorrow, we’ll explore the gifts emotional episodes can reveal — and how to heal forward.

24/10/2025

Emotional episodes often come with a peak — a moment when the intensity feels unbearable.
You might feel like you’re drowning, shutting down, or about to explode.
This is where **distress tolerance** comes in.

In this post, we’ll explore how DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) and ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) help us survive emotional peaks with skill, courage, and values.

DBT’s Distress Tolerance: Skills for the Storm

DBT offers a toolkit for surviving emotional intensity without making things worse.
These skills aren’t about fixing the emotion — they’re about **riding it out**.

TIPP Skills
- **Temperature**: Change your body temp (cold water, ice pack)
- **Intense Exercise**: Burn off adrenaline
- **Paced Breathing**: Slow, steady inhales and exhales
- **Paired Muscle Relaxation**: Tense and release muscle groups

These regulate your nervous system and help you stay grounded.

ACCEPTS Skills
- **Activities**: Distract with something engaging
- **Contributing**: Help someone else
- **Comparisons**: Reflect on past resilience
- **Emotions**: Watch a movie, listen to music
- **Pushing Away**: Temporarily set the problem aside
- **Thoughts**: Count, recite, focus
- **Sensations**: Use texture, taste, or movement

These help you tolerate distress without impulsive action.

ACT’s Willingness: Choosing Discomfort in Service of Values

ACT invites us to practice **willingness** — the radical act of staying present with discomfort when it serves something meaningful.

Instead of “I can’t handle this,” we say:
- “I’m willing to feel this, because it matters.”
- “I choose discomfort in service of healing.”
- “This pain is part of my path toward growth.”

Willingness isn’t passive. It’s a courageous choice to stay connected to your values.

Think of a recent emotional peak.
- What did it feel like in your body?
- What urge did you have?
- What skill could have helped you ride it out?
- What value could have guided you through?

Now ask:
- “What skill will I practice next time the storm hits?”

You don’t have to like the storm.
You don’t have to pretend it’s easy.
But you can survive it — with skills, with courage, with values.
DBT gives you the tools. ACT gives you the compass.

Tomorrow, we’ll explore how to choose values in the episode — and turn pain into purpose.

23/10/2025

When emotions surge, mindfulness might feel out of reach.
You’re flooded. Reactive. Disconnected.
But mindfulness isn’t about being calm — it’s about being clear.

In this post, we’ll explore how ACT and DBT use mindfulness to help us stay present during emotional episodes. Not to suppress emotion, but to understand it.

ACT’s Present-Moment Awareness

ACT teaches us that psychological flexibility begins with **present-moment awareness** — noticing thoughts, feelings, and sensations as they arise, without judgment or fusion.

Instead of “I’m angry,” we practice:
- “I’m noticing anger.”
- “I’m having the thought that I’ve been wronged.”
- “I’m sensing heat in my chest.”

This creates space between you and your experience — enough room to choose your response.

DBT’s Wise Mind

DBT introduces the concept of **Wise Mind** — the integration of Emotion Mind and Reasonable Mind.

- Emotion Mind: reactive, intense, impulsive
- Reasonable Mind: logical, detached, analytical
- Wise Mind: grounded, intuitive, balanced

Mindfulness helps us access Wise Mind by observing and describing what’s happening inside

Mindfulness Skills in DBT

DBT breaks mindfulness into three core skills:
1. **Observe** — Notice your internal experience without trying to change it.
2. **Describe** — Put words to what you notice: “I feel tightness in my chest.”
3. **Participate** — Engage fully in the moment, even with discomfort present.

These skills help us stay anchored when emotions try to sweep us away.

Pause and check in.
- What emotion is present right now?
- What thought is showing up with it?
- What sensation do you feel in your body?

Now ask:
- “Can I observe this without judgment?”
- “What does Wise Mind say about this moment?”

This is mindfulness in the storm.

Mindfulness isn’t about fixing your feelings.
It’s about meeting them with clarity, compassion, and choice.
ACT helps us stay present. DBT helps us stay grounded.
Together, they help us name what’s happening — and choose what happens next.

Tomorrow, we’ll explore distress tolerance — and how to survive the emotional peak.

22/10/2025

When emotions surge, so does the urge to escape. You feel overwhelmed, flooded, or on the edge of control. In that moment, doing anything — **anything** — to stop the pain makes sense.

This is natural. And it’s human. Pain elicits escape.
But when the escape becomes the pattern, we get swept away.

In this post, we’ll explore the urge to escape through the lenses of ACT’s **experiential avoidance** and DBT’s **urge surfing**. These frameworks help us understand why we avoid — and how to ride the waves instead.

The Cycle of Escape: Experiential Avoidance

In ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy), experiential avoidance means trying to avoid, escape, or control difficult thoughts and feelings.

Examples:
- Fear → social avoidance
- Anger → lashing out
- Shame → self-sabotage

Escape provides short-term relief — a breath of air when you’re underwater.
But it deepens distress, disconnects us from values, and shrinks our lives.

The antidote isn’t fighting or changing the pain.
It’s making room for it — so we can choose our direction.

Surfing the Urge: DBT’s Metaphor

Enter DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) with its concept of **urge surfing**.

Imagine your emotion as a wave.
In the beginning, it swells with energy.
At its peak, it crashes.
Then it recedes.

The urge to escape is part of the wave. You can’t control the wave, but you can learn to surf it.
By noticing and naming the urge without reacting, you build distress tolerance and expand your choices.

How to Urge Surf

1. **Notice** the wave rising: “I feel the urge to ___.”
2. **Name** it: “This is anger. This is fear. This is grief.”
3. **Focus** on grounding skills: breath, sensations, presence.
4. **Remember** values: “What matters to me, even with this here?”

This isn’t passive acceptance; it’s **meditated action**. Riding the wave gives you space to choose courage over reaction.

Pause. Feel into your experience.
- What’s the wave you’re riding right now?
- What’s the urge to escape?
- What value could you move toward instead?

This is the beginning of **emotional wisdom**.

You don’t have to drown in the storm — or avoid it.
You can learn to ride the waves of your experience.
DBT gives you the board. ACT gives you direction.
Values keep you coming back to shore

21/10/2025

we've all had moments when emotions surge and logic slips away. You say something you regret. You shut down. you feel overwhelmed, reactive or disconnected. These are emotional episode-- Short term expierences of intense emotion, often triggered by something meaningful.

But emotional episodes aren't abreakdowns. They're breakthroughs in disguise.

Today we will explore what emotional episode are, why they happen, and how ACT ( Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) and DBT ( Dialectical Behavcior Therapy) help us navitgate them with clairity and compassion.

What Is an Emotional Episode?

An emotional episode is a brief but intense experience of emotional dysregulation. It might last minutes or hours, but its impact can ripple through relationships, decisions, and self-perception.

Common features:
- Sudden emotional surge (anger, shame, fear, grief)
- Urge to escape, react, or shut down
- Difficulty accessing logic or values
- Often triggered by something personally meaningful

These episodes aren’t random. They’re patterned responses shaped by vulnerability, belief systems, and past experiences

DBT’s Lens: Vulnerability + Invalidating Triggers

DBT teaches us that emotional dysregulation often arises from two ingredients:
1. **High vulnerability** (e.g., tired, hungry, stressed, overwhelmed)
2. **Triggering event** (e.g., rejection, criticism, loss)

When these collide, the emotional system floods. You might feel hijacked, impulsive, or numb.

DBT doesn’t pathologize this — it normalizes it. And it offers tools to survive the storm.

ACT’s Lens: Experiential Avoidance

ACT adds another layer: emotional episodes often involve **experiential avoidance** — the attempt to escape uncomfortable thoughts, feelings, or sensations.

Examples:
- Feeling anxious → avoiding the situation
- Feeling shame → withdrawing from others
- Feeling grief → numbing with work or substances

Avoidance feels protective. But it often deepens distress and disconnects us from our values.

Emotional Episodes as Meaningful Moments

Here’s the reframe: emotional episodes aren’t just problems to fix. They’re signals to decode.

They show us:
- What matters to us
- What beliefs we hold
- What wounds still ache
- What values we want to live

ACT and DBT help us respond — not react.

Reflection Prompt
Think of a recent emotional episode.
- What triggered it?
- What emotion showed up?
- What urge did you feel?
- What value might have been threatened?

This is the beginning of emotional wisdom.

Final Thought

Emotional episodes are part of being human.
They’re not signs of weakness — they’re invitations to grow.
ACT helps us accept and act. DBT helps us regulate and reflect.
Together, they offer a path through the storm.

20/10/2025

Day 7: Your Emotional Compass

over the past week, we've explored how values guide us, how beliefs shape us, and how emotionals speak to us. Today we bring it all together- into a single metaphor: your emotional compass.

*Values are your compass-- pointing you towrd meaning purpose and integrity.
** Beliefs are your map-- Showing how you interpret the terrain
*** Emotions are the weather-- Sometimes clear, sometimes stormy, always shifting.

you can't always control the weather. but you can choose your direction.

Let’s say you feel anxious before a difficult conversation.
- Emotion: anxiety (weather)
- Belief: “If I speak up, I’ll be rejected” (map)
- Value: honesty (compass)

REBT helps you challenge the belief. ACT helps you accept the emotion. Together, they help you act on your value — even with anxiety present.

Draw your emotional compass:
- What are 3 values that guide you?
- What beliefs support those values?
- What emotions tend to cloud your path?

Then ask:
- “What’s one value I want to live today — no matter the weather?”

Final Thought

You are not at the mercy of your emotions.
You are not trapped by your beliefs.
You are guided by your values — your compass, your truth, your light.

Thank you for walking this 7-day journey. May your compass always point toward what matters most.

17/10/2025

Day 6: Values in Action

Values aren't just ideas we admire-- they're verbs we enact. Compassion isn't a concept. It's how you speak to someone who hurting. Courage isn't a feeling. It's how you show up, even when you're scared.

ACT ( Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) teaches us that values- based living means choosing actions that reflect what matters- even when discomfort is present.

ACT offers a simple but powerful too: The Choice Point
In any moment, we can:
* move TOWARD our Values ( Connection, growth, honesty)
* move AWAY from them (avoidance, reactivity, self-attack)

The goal isn't perfection- it's awareness.
when you notice you're drifitng, you can gently piviot back toward what matters.

REBT clears the path

REBT helps us identify and challange the beliefs taht block values- based action. let's say you value authenticity. but your belief is " If i show my true self, I'll be rejected."

REBT invites you to dispute that belief:
* is it true?
* is it helpful?
*what rational belief could support your value?
" I prefer acceptance, but I can handle rejection and still be authentic"

This clears the path for action

Choose one value you wnat to live today. Ask yourself:
* what small action would reflect this value?
* What belief might get in the way?
* what rational belief could support you?
Then commit to one bold, values- based acton-- no matter how small.

Values come alive in action
you don't have to wait for the perfect moment
you can live your values today-- in how you speak, listen, create, and connect.

16/10/2025

Day 5: Beliefs that Heal

Not all beliefs hurt. Some Heal. REBT helps us replace rigid, irrational beliefs with flexible, compassionate ones. " I must be perfect" becomes " I perfer to do well, but I accept myself regardless." Lets explore how to re write the stories we tell ourselves.

Beliefs are powerful. They shape how we interpret the world, how we treat ourselves, and how we respond to pain. Some beliefs protect us. Others imprison us. REBT ( Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy teaches us that irrational beliefs-- espically rigid demands-- are major sources of emotional suffering. But here's the good news: beliefs can be challanged, softened, and rewritten.

what makes belief irrational: REBT defines irrational beliefs as:
* Rigid ( I must)
** Unrealistic ( i should never feel pain)
*** Self Defeating ( If I fail, im worthless)
These beliefs often show up during emotional episodes. They amplify distress and block values- based action.

ACT ( Aceptance and Commitment Therapy) offers a gentle tool called Cognative Defusion. The practive of noticing thoughts with out getting entangled in them.
Instead of " im a failure" we say
* Im having the thought that im a failure
** this thought shows up when I feel vulnerable
*** I dont have to obey this thought
Defusion creates space. REBT helps fill that space with rational beliefs.

Choose one belief that shows up during emotional distress. Ask yourself:
* What emotion does this belief create?
** What value does it block?
*** What Rational belief could support healing?
write this new belief down. say it out loud and let it guide you.

You are not the sum of your old beliefs. You are the author. REBT helps you rewrite the script. ACT helps you hold it gently. Healing begins with the stories we choose to believe.

# ACTWisdom

15/10/2025

welcome to day 4: Values in the Storm

When emotions run high, values can feel far away, but they are still there like a lighthouse in the fog. ACT teaches us to act on our values even when emotion scream otherwise. Lets explore how to stay gounded when the storm hits.

We all know the feeling-- emotions surge, thoughts race, suddenly were doing whatever it takes to escape discomfort. We scroll, snap, isolate, overwork, or shut down. This is called Experiential avoidance- the attempt to dodge emotional pain.

Experiental avoidance is any behavior aimed at escaping uncomfortable thoughts, feelings, or sensations-- even when that esape undermines your values. some examples are avoiding a difficult conversations-- undermines your value of Honesty, overworking to avoid-- undermines your value of self- care.

Avoidance feels protective, but it often deepns distress and discomfort.

ACT ( Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) teaches us values are like lighthouses-- they don't stop the storm, but guide us through it. When emotions rise, we ask " what value do I want to embody right now?" " what action moves me towards that value, even in discomfort?" This is called Psychological flexibility-- the ability to stay present, open, and value- driven.

Think of a recent moment when you avoid discomfort. WHat emotions were you trying to escape? What value got sidelined? What belief drove the avoidance?

Now Ask " What small action could move me toward that value-- even with discomfort present?

Emotions dont have to be obsticles. They can be invitations to choss, to act, to grow. This is values based living.

14/10/2025

" I must do well and win approval." " Others must treat me kindly and fairly" These hidden beliefs drive emotional pain. REBT calls them 'Musturbations' rigid demands we place on ourselves, others, and the world. Let's challange the 'shoulds' and recliam you values. Choose one " should" or "must" belief you've held recently. Ask yourself: is this belief helping me live my values? What emotion does it create when reality doesn't match it? What rational belief could I adopt instead? write a new belief that's flexible, compassionate, and values-aligned.

# ACTinAction

13/10/2025

Ever felt Hijacked by emotion? That's an emotioanl episode-- a moment where beliefs, values, and triggers collide. Begin to unpack what's happening beneathe the surface using REBT's ABC model.

We've all had moments were emotions seem to take over-- a sharp comment, a missed opportunity, a sudden wave of anxiety. These are emotional episodes: brief but intense experiences where thoughts, beliefs, and values collide.

An emotional episode is a short term experience of heightened emotion-- often triggered by a specific event. it might be last minutes or hours, but its impact can linger. These episodes are random they follow a pattern.

REBT ( Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy) offers a simple but powerful Framework to decode them, this is the ABC Model:

A= Activating Event
** something happens. It could be external ( someone criticizes you) or Internal ( you remember a mistake).

B= Belief
** you interpret the event through y our beliefs. this might be rational (" I dont like criticism, but I can handle it") or Irrational ( " I must never be criticized-- it means im worthless")

C= Consequence
** your emotioanal and behavioral response. Rational beliefs lead to manageable emotions. Irrational ones often lead to distress, avoidance, or self- attack.

REBT teaches us that it's not the event itsself that causes emotional pain-- it's the belief we attach to it.

Let's say someone doesn't return your message. if your belief is-- " people get busy-- it's not personal", you might feel neutral or mildly disappointed. if you beliefis -- " i must be liked and reponded to immediately", you might feel rejected, anxious, or angry. Same event . Different belief. Different emotional consequence.

Think of a recent emotional episode.
** what is the Activating Event
*** what belief did you hold in that moment?
**** What was the emotional consequence?

Now ask:
** was that belief helpful or harmful?
*** what value could guide you next time?

This isn't about perfection-- it's about awarness.
Emotional episodes are part of being human. REBT helps us decode them. ACT helps us honor them. togeter they offer a path toward emotional wisdom-- not just emotional control

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Tuesday	09:00 - 18:00
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Thursday	09:00 - 18:00
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Saturday	08:45 - 12:00
Sunday	09:00 - 17:00

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