11/10/2024
The Day We Became “Pier Runners”
So, my sister thought it’d be a brilliant idea to celebrate our birthdays with a cruise—Ocho Rios, Jamaica was on the itinerary.
Now, I love my sister, but I had my own little plan. You see, I know some folks in Montego Bay, and I figured, “Why not have them pick me up so I can catch up with some old faces?”
In my defense, I told my sister and my friend they didn’t have to come. But, of course, they were down for the adventure. So off we went! Fresh coconut in hand, eating escovitch fish, sipping on local wine and Ting, and yes, smoking a little w**d (don’t judge). It was the most chill day ever—until it wasn’t.
We kept an eye on the time. We weren’t trying to miss the ship, but when we returned to the port, it was suspiciously... empty. “We’re early, right?” Nope. Next thing we knew, security was shouting, “The ship is leaving!”
Cue the chaos.
My friend darted ahead like Usain Bolt. I tried to run, but I had no bra under my tight dress. Imagine b***y and fat shaking everywhere—an absolute hot mess. My sister, poor thing, had a swollen foot, so she was hobbling along like it was a three-legged race. We were a disaster!
We didn’t realize it at the time, but we were officially those people—the dreaded pier runners! We made it just in time, sweaty, breathless, and full of relief. The security guard tried to gaslight us, like we weren’t almost left stranded in Jamaica, but I was laughing too hard to care. My sister, on the other hand, gave me that “never again” look, while my friend looked like he was ready to collapse.
Later, we figured out that my watch had automatically changed time when we got off the boat. Lesson learned: I’m never laughing at another pier runner again… okay, I’m lying. I totally will. Every time, in remembrance of this madness!
