Finding True Freedom

12/25/2024

THE HEALING POWER OF ANGER

For much of my life, I repressed my anger.
I never allowed myself to truly feel it, express it, or share with anyone that I was angry, upset, or anything less than “okay.”

I was a “good boy.”

I was a “nice boy.”
(Except really, I was an angry boy.)

I had been taught—and this was my trauma—that anger was bad, shameful, unspiritual, and a sign of weakness. On top of that, I felt a narcissistic need to protect an image of myself as kind, caring, compassionate, and very, very spiritual, free from any hint of anger.

Science is now showing that people-pleasing, anger-repression, and stuffing down all the life inside of us is incredibly harmful to our health, contributing to and exacerbating a myriad of illnesses and chronic conditions.

When we repress our anger, we repress our life force, our passion, our sexuality, our discernment, our fire. We throw the baby out with the bathwater in our pursuit to be “nice.”

“Nice” is a lie, in that sense.

It was both terrifying and liberating to start allowing myself to feel and express anger in healthy ways. Saying “no” when I meant no, becoming okay with upsetting, disappointing, and even angering people, setting healthy and fierce boundaries, and allowing myself to fully grieve the past.

Giving that inner child full permission to grieve and cry and truth-tell his way into love. Being my authentic self.

I stopped acting out of guilt and shame and allowed myself to walk away from people and situations that didn't serve me or align with my highest ideals.

I stopped allowing anger to control me.

I stopped trying to save everyone and pretending to be the “nice guy.” I let go of the need to be seen as compassionate, spiritual, and kind.

None of that is my business. How people see me.

I stopped caring what people thought of me. This was the most liberating thing of all.

This journey through the healing portal of anger has been deeply liberating and has unlocked so much energy.

Anger is good, you see. Anger is healthy. Anger is not unspiritual, harmful, unhealthy or bad when you finally find out how to unlock and harness its awesome power.

Anger will heal you to the core if you let it, and will unlock the true mysteries of compassion.

~ Jeff Foster

12/24/2024

WHAT IS A CONSCIOUS RELATIONSHIP?

“If you accept that the relationship is here to make you conscious instead of happy, then the relationship will offer you salvation, and you will be aligning yourself with the higher consciousness that wants to be born into this world.”

— Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now

In a conscious relationship, your partner becomes a loving mirror, reflecting your true self back to you—your light, your shadows, your strengths, your struggles, your power, and your brilliant flaws.

Nothing remains untouched or unseen in this penetrating light. Everything is welcomed here to be embraced, digested, and transformed by love and in love.

Your partner will see beyond the perfect image you present to the world. They will see the cracks in your armor, your imperfections, your concealed fears, and your deepest desires. They won’t allow you to hide behind a wall of pretense because they believe in your potential and capacity. They will gently encourage you to step up, take responsibility, and face yourself and the world with integrity and truthfulness. They won’t let you get away with lies or manipulations. They will call you higher.

They will call you into spiritual maturity and awakening.
Honesty is at the core of all this, but it’s not just about sharing your thoughts—it’s about revealing your souls to each other, your tender hearts. You are invited to share the things that frighten you the most: the fears you’ve buried, the insecurities you’ve numbed away, and the parts of yourself you’ve kept hidden. Your addictions. Your obsessions. Your grief and your rage.

This honesty is daunting, yet ultimately liberating.

By bringing your whole self into the light, you begin to release yourself from the burdens of shame and illusion.

You come out of hiding and allow yourself to be fully seen.
And yes, each time you share yourself, it may feel scary. Your partner might reject you. They might shame you, ridicule you, or walk away—like your parents did, perhaps. Perhaps you’ve been hurt before in relationships, and there’s a part of you that fears a repeat, a re-traumatization. Your nervous system braces itself for impact.

But each time you reveal your truth—each time you share your deepest self, your anger, your pain, your tears, and your joy—and they actually listen, and they stay, and you feel heard, held, and forgiven in love, you begin to heal that personal and ancestral trauma. You weave new bonds of secure attachment and trust.
The fear of abandonment fades. The fear of intimacy fades.
This is how trust is built over time: Your partner doesn’t just see who you pretend to be—they truly see the raw, real, vulnerable you. They see the cracks in you where your deepest wounds are, the bits of your life you’ve tried to hide, the creativity and joy that have always been waiting to shine through. They see your inner child, your dreams, your untapped potential, your beautiful heart, your ultimate goodness.

They see who you are, who you were, and who you are becoming.
And they love you—not despite your imperfections and flaws, but because of them.

A conscious relationship will offer you comfort and pleasure, yes, but it also asks you to grow, to find your edges and limits and push them. It will ask you to rise into the person you are meant to be, the person you are truly capable of being. It will ask you to stop playing small and safe, to stop hiding behind what feels easy and superficial. Your partner will remind you that you are capable of so much more than you think—that you have the strength to step fully into your power and fully onto your life’s path.

And while that can feel terrifying and even overwhelming at times, it’s also the most freeing thing in the world—to be supported and encouraged to soar like that while staying rooted and grounded in trust and safety.

Yes, this is the wonderful paradox of true love:

We stay rooted together, yet we soar.

Jeff Foster (www.lifewithoutacentre.com)

12/21/2024

Is the spiritual seeker apart from the ego?

The spiritual seeker is really the ego trying to refine itself to become the true self. So the me tries to resist all things “non-spiritual” in the hope of becoming more refined. But the ego can never take the place of the Unchanging Observer, no matter how refined it becomes, because its creations are always transient, whereas your true self is always unmodified, remaining as the un-involved eternal witness.

~Atreya thomas

01/20/2024

"When a thought hurts, that’s the signal that it isn’t true."

~The Work of Byron Katie

12/26/2023

12/11/2023

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06/17/2023

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06/10/2023

“Teaching and learning true forgiveness is being aware that one is never upset by anything but erroneous thoughts, and that those erroneous thoughts can be released.”

David Hoffmeister

05/10/2023

In his book "The Four Agreements," Don Miguel Ruiz teaches us the importance of not taking anything personally. This means not interpreting everything that happens to you as a personal attack or an insult. It means recognizing that other people's behavior results from their own beliefs, experiences, and emotions rather than a commentary on your worth as a person.
When we take things personally, we give other people the power to control our emotions and our thoughts. Taking things personally can be a significant source of suffering in our lives. We become trapped in a cycle of negativity and self-doubt, seeking validation and approval from others instead of trusting in our inherent worth and value.
The key to not taking anything personally is understanding that everyone lives in their dream. We all have our own beliefs, perceptions, and ways of seeing the world. When someone says or does something that seems hurtful or offensive, it is often a reflection of their own dream rather than a reflection of who you are.
When we can detach from the need for approval or validation from others, we can start to trust in our own worth and value. We can also begin to practice empathy and compassion, recognizing that other people are struggling and doing their best to navigate their own dreams and experiences.
By not taking anything personally, we can free ourselves from the burden of other people's opinions and judgments. We can start living on our own terms, following our own path, and being true to ourselves, rather than seeking approval or validation from others.
The next time you feel hurt or offended by something someone says or does, take a moment to remember that their behavior is not about you. Instead, focus on staying true to yourself and living your own dream. By not taking things personally, you can create a more peaceful and fulfilling life, free from the negativity and self-doubt that often comes with taking things personally.