Greg Kovacs, PhD

05/17/2025

Dear Younger Generations: It has recently come to my attention that "Netflix and Chill" does not mean what it once did. In the future, please inform the rest of us. It's important. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a few things to clear up amongst friends.

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04/23/2025

04/07/2025

03/06/2025

In the late 90s, I read Descartes' Error, and one point by Damasio stayed with me: emotional "gut instincts" are essential, helping us avoid being paralyzed by choices.

03/05/2025

"Can't you just get over it?" is an insidious, emotionally isolating statement. And emotional isolation primes a sense of helplessness, evokes a sense of danger, and is linked to the fear of death. "Fear of death?! You're exaggerating a bit, aren't you?" No, I'm not.

03/03/2025

Emotionally available partners are neurological handymen, rewiring crappy emotional circuits left by childhood’s “amateur electricians.”

03/01/2025

When your 16-year-old asks to go to the father-daughter dance, you go! I couldn't have been more proud. Even better . . . she drove!

02/28/2025

"He just doesn't want to;" "she's not trying hard enough;" "you keep giving in to him." Kids don't WANT to miss school or give parents a hard time or curl up on their bed instead of playing outside with their friends. Something's up. They ARE having a hard time. Our job is to be their regulators; their safest place.

When the phone call comes from the school office asking for help with my child, I will be there every time to fight for him.

02/28/2025

An over focus on symptom management can result in an overuse of "rescue medications," like alcohol, isolation, and crappy secondary emotions, like anger. Instead, address the context and personal history that impact the reoccurrence of symptoms.

02/27/2025

It's hard to do at times. But forgiveness is essential in the process of healing from betrayal. Forgiveness is a choice; it's not something that "just happens." It requires us to understand our partner's behavior without judgment. Forgiveness doesn't mean that you condone the behavior or forget the behavior.

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02/26/2025

I'm Dr. Greg Kovacs. Thanks for visiting. I'm a couples therapist and relationship researcher and educator. And I'm happy to share my insights and musings on all-things-couples!

With over 20 years of experience working with couples and families, and nearly 25 years of marriage, I've learned quite a lot about what it takes to improve trust, renew friendship, enhance intimacy--and recover from mistakes! I've also developed a deep appreciation for maintaining a sense of safety and security in our relationships.

In the coming months of 2025, I'll be sharing some new ways of helping couples achieve their relationship goals, including seminars and immersive therapy sessions! Stay tuned!