The Third Option International

The Third Option International The Third Option is an on-going skills based group program to build better marriages. Each of the fo Painful endurance or divorce?

Many of us manage our marriage as a series of choices between “His” desires and “Her “desires. We may choose either end of the balance line: either “Peace at any price” or “Letting it all hang out.” Why do we see only two options? Both options fail to bring us together, but instead tend to move us to extremes. Break through the clutter of past baggage and misunderstandings. Find the healthy middle ground, a program called THIRD OPTION. Third Option is an on-going skills based group program that has been building healthy marriages since 1988. Each 14 session cycle covers a comprehensive set of tools useful for developing better understanding, sensitivity and trust while learning more effective speaking and listening skills. The Third Option means reconciliation. When couples are struggling they will say they have “tried everything” but what they usually mean is they have tried the same two extreme options over and over, never finding what works. (Example: they have stuffed their anger, or they have attacked with it. Neither will give them the marriages they want.) The Third Option combines skill-building workshops and sharing from mentor couples with a peer support group that is caring and accepting.

03/21/2026
03/21/2026

Listen… some of the strongest marriages you see today were once hanging on by a thread. They went through betrayal, arguments, tears, and nights where both people wondered if it was even worth fighting for anymore. But what they didn’t realize in the middle of the pain was this: God was still building something.

Too many people walk away from a marriage while God is still working behind the scenes. Just because your marriage is in a hard season doesn’t mean it’s a finished story. Construction sites are messy. There’s noise, dust, tearing down, and rebuilding, but that doesn’t mean the building isn’t going up. Sometimes God has to tear out pride, heal wounds, and rebuild communication before the beauty of the marriage can fully stand.

The enemy wants couples to quit during the construction phase. He whispers, “It’s over… it’s broken… it will never be the same.” But what he doesn’t want you to see is that God specializes in restoration. Many marriages aren’t destroyed by problems, they’re destroyed because couples quit before God finishes the work.

If God brought you together in covenant, don’t walk away just because the process got uncomfortable. Growth in marriage requires forgiveness, humility, patience, and faith. The very pressure you’re feeling might be the tool God is using to shape both of you into better spouses.

So don’t quit on a marriage that God is still building.
Some of the most beautiful testimonies come from couples who decided to stay, fight, heal, and let God finish what He started.

If you believe some marriages just need rebuilding, not replacement, comment “REBUILD.”

03/21/2026

Just love people more.

Forgiveness, patience, listening a little longer. These things sound small, but they shape the kind of life we build around us.

/ Topher Kearby

03/21/2026

Of course, at different stages of your marriage, physical intimacy can look very different. When you're 80 years old you probably won't be doing what you do now, but your goal then is to still be flirting, holding hands and dancing in the living-room together.

03/21/2026

When parents nurture their own well-being, they quietly strengthen the entire family.🩷

03/21/2026
03/21/2026

A difference… 💛

03/21/2026


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10475 Cosby Manor Road
Utica, NY
13502

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+18556249476

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Our Story

Many of us manage marriage as a series of choices between “His” desires and “Her “desires. We may choose either end of the balance line either “Peace at any price” or “Letting it all hang out.” Why do we see only two options? Painful endurance or divorce? Both options fail to bring us together, but instead tend to move us to extremes. Break through the clutter of past baggage and misunderstandings. Find the healthy middle ground, a program called THIRD OPTION. Third Option is an on-going skills based group program that has been building healthy marriages since 1988. Each 14 session cycle covers a comprehensive set of tools useful for developing better understanding, sensitivity and trust while learning more effective speaking and listening skills. The Third Option means reconciliation. When couples are struggling they will say they have “tried everything” but what they usually mean is they have tried the same two extreme options over and over, never finding what works. (Example: they have stuffed their anger, or they have attacked with it. Neither will give them the marriages they want.) The Third Option combines skill-building workshops and sharing from mentor couples with a peer support group that is caring and accepting.