07/10/2025
On the eve of my fatherās birthday (RIP, Daddyo) to be read againā¦ āØš¢āØ
Tonight is the eve of my fatherās birthday and while he has gone to the sky for astral sailing more than a few years now, I still miss the part of life we shared that couldnāt wait for us to put our faces to the wind. I was still impossibly shy when he left. He made some huge choices and brutal mistakes that forever rocked my trust. He was equally proud of me as an actress, but ashamed of my role on Friends, (but loved his friends liked it even if his last wife didnāt.) He even asked me to keep a secret at the end about my off the beaten track of healing though he got an extra year. I didnāt care. I was glad he got more milkshakes and time with grandkids even if they werenāt my kids. Nevertheless, he was my dad. He gave me my blue eyes, my blonde hair, my bone structure, my skinny legs, and a love of the ocean that has forever been such a refuge for me. He loved to sing with his banjo or at any piano bar, but as far back as I knew he drank too much. It was his cocktail and cigarette generation and coping for the pain of the war, I imagine. Mom did her best to keep him safe, but it was hard. He loved to entertain his clients and friends with 50 yard line season tickets to Oakland Raiders and weekly sailing on his beloved Crinan. He loved silly poems, black cowboy coffee, black felt pens, and sweets. Oh, he loved his party, (Republican but voted for Obama!), this country, his three sons, (my amazing brothers), and what was left over went to my sister Annie and me, his baby. We donāt think he liked us as much, but maybe he just didnāt know how to deal with super smart and shy girls. (Mom is smart, but so at ease in the world!) I canāt change any of it but how I go forward every day trying to do better, be better, make healthier choices and find a way to have fun without crushing any shy hearts along the way is best. If he were here now Iād ask him to sing his latest favorite song, share his regrets as well as his triumphs, and ask him what heās discovered on the other side that would delight us now and maybe give us greater hope or joy. What would you wish to know of someone you know and loved who left too soon? While my Aunt visits me often I donāt have a sense of my dad any longer. I wish I did. I think itād be a nice chance to clear up a few things. Weād share coffee and frosting straight from the bowl and get to work on fixing something like our smashed thumbs or adjusting my sails toward the next horizon. HBD WRS IV. I love you ā„ļø