04/30/2026
Hi, I'm going to start sharing some real moments from my client sessions.
Not the polished versions. The messy, honest ones where the real shift happens.
Because odds are, you're doing some version of the same thing they are. And once you see it, you can't unsee it.
Here's a snippet from a recent session. Read this if you've ever collapsed on the couch at 9pm and wondered why you feel absolutely nothing.
Client: "It's easy to avoid life when you're working hard. Fifteen things to do… you don't have to think about anything real."
Me: "So what do you do when you stop working?"
Client: "Read. Wine. TV. I can tell I'm not dealing with me. I stay up too late. I don't want to do anything."
Me: "I have a name for that. TMBs — Too Much Behaviours. Glass of wine. Screen. Couch. Done occasionally? Fine. Done as your default because you can't sit with yourself? That's not relaxation. That's avoidance."
Client: "Yeah… that's it exactly."
Later she mentioned a friend had been upset with her. They'd fixed it. But she'd been carrying it for days.
Then she caught herself:
"Why am I so nervous about this? Oh. Because the voice in my head thinks nobody should ever be mad at me. And she should be calling me all the time telling me how great I am."
Then she said the line:
Client: "Who is that? That's my mother."
Me: "There it is. That voice is what's driving you straight into your TMBs. You can't sit with someone being mildly upset with you because the little girl inside never learned how. So you numb."
Client: "That makes so much sense."
Me: "When you grow up where love is earned through performance, you learn to perform for safety. You perform so people don't worry about you. You carry that into adulthood. So now, someone gets mildly upset? Your nervous system treats it like a threat. And you reach for the wine."
Client: "Oh god. Yes."
Here's what I told her next.
Most of what we call "bad habits" — the avoidance, the over-drinking, the doom-scrolling, the over-working, the people-pleasing — aren't adult problems.
They're little kid coping mechanisms running on adult-sized stress.
The moment something wobbles, that same little kid takes the wheel.
So what do we actually do about it?
Here's what I'll be guiding her through:
❤️ Values work
❤️ Inner child work
❤️ Forgiveness
❤️ Healing the timeline
It's gentle work. And honestly? It's beautiful to watch someone stop running from themselves.
Here's something you can try tonight.
Not quitting the wine. Not deleting your apps. Just this:
When you reach for your TMB of choice, pause for ten seconds and ask: "Who's reaching for this? Me, or the little kid who never learned another way?"
That's it. No action required. Just noticing.
Because the moment you notice who's driving, you're already behind the wheel again.
If this landed for you, I offer paid 1:1 sessions using EFT (tapping) to do this deeper work. Visit my website.
Love,
Susie
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