08/27/2025
Last week, something happened that really stuck with me. I was at the Post Office and saw my neighbor, who’s always so friendly, in the parking lot. She walked right past me without even a glance, let alone her usual "hello."
And just like that, that familiar, heavy feeling started to settle in. My mind instantly launched into its worst-case scenario routine:
*"She must think I'm so weird."*
*"What did I even do? I must have said something wrong."*
*"If she thinks that, probably everyone in the building does."*
*"I just don't know how to connect with people. What's wrong with me?"*
In under three minutes, my brain had built a rock-solid case, tried me, and found me guilty. The charge? Being fundamentally unlikable.
The truth, as I found out later? She had simply forgotten to put her contact lenses in that morning. She hadn't even seen me.
But by then, the damage was already done. My subconscious had already filed away the verdict: *"Rejected. Unliked. Socially defective."*
It’s scary how our minds can’t tell the difference between a story we invent and an actual fact. When we imagine we’re being judged, our bodies flood with the exact same stress hormones as if we actually were. When we assume a situation will go badly, our entire energy shifts to make that fear a reality. Our assumptions aren't just thoughts; they're instructions we send out into the world.
I’ve started to notice this pattern everywhere now:
*Your partner takes a while to text back?* → *"They're losing interest."*
*Your boss gives you an odd look in a meeting?* → *"I'm definitely getting fired."*
*A friend has to cancel plans?* → *"They clearly don't value our friendship."*
Every single time, it’s like a mental courtroom snaps to order. The jury is biased, the evidence is flimsy, and the verdict is always the same: **"Guilty of being not enough."**
We are constantly fueling a trial against ourselves. And the worst part? Those false verdicts don't just describe our present—they actively program our future.
We assume something (without ever checking).
Our body and mind react (as if it's 100% true).
Our entire energy shifts (we become nervous, closed-off, insecure).
And then we often attract the very thing we were afraid of.
I’ve come to call this cycle the **"Imaginary Courtroom."** It’s a place in your head where you’re always the defendant, the prosecutor, and the judge, all at once, and the only evidence is assumption.
Now, when I feel that negative emotion start to rise—that prick of anxiety or twist of dread—I try to stop myself. I take a breath and ask one simple question: *"What if this isn't true?"*
Don't give that imaginary courtroom any power. And most importantly, don't make assumptions.
The moment you stop condemning yourself based on stories you've written, your entire reality can reorganize in an instant.
