Pathways Counseling and Wellness

09/17/2024

The next round of the ADHD Parent Coaching Group that I offer begins a month from today!

The cost ($150) covers all 5 sessions, and you're welcome to have one or multiple parents/guardians of the same child attend for that one rate. The more adults in the child's life who are willing to learn and build skills, the better 🙂

Please note that this is coaching and not therapy. I am not diagnosing anyone; I am providing education, support, guidance, and skill building to parents or caregivers of kids with ADHD.

Check out my website for more info and to register: www.pathwayscounselingandwellness.com/parent-coaching

Please feel free to share this widely with anyone who may benefit; you may join this coaching group from any location!

07/27/2024

The next ADHD Parent Coaching Group begins this coming Thursday August 8th.

Since this is coaching and not therapy (I am not diagnosing anyone; I am providing psychoeducation, skill building, and guidance), folks from any state/country are welcome to join!

Please sign up via the link in the image, or feel free to ask questions in the comment section.

02/29/2024

Great article by the wonderful Mona Delahooke, Ph.D. !

Co-regulating helps kids learn how to handle their emotions as they grow up and those kids are more likely to be resilient, psychologist says.

12/11/2023

Such good reminders as we observe and interact with our kids over this holiday season.

12/04/2023

It is absolutely worth taking the time to read every word of this post!
I also highly recommend reading the comments - so many more useful tips and tidbits to be found there 💜

She is struggling. S t r u g g l i n g. This year is hard, hard, hard for so many reasons.

We haven’t been able to do everything I wish we could do, in OT every week, because we’re so busy putting out the emotional fire that’s raging constantly that we can’t even make progress in new skills. The slightest push feels like it would send her over the edge, and I can’t do that to her. I empathize too hard with that struggle, anyway. I tell myself that I’m being the one safe adult in her life…that if she doesn’t know anywhere else where she can let her guard down, she knows she can with me.

She comes to me ready to fight, because she’s been fighting all week.

She begs me to take some of my toys, some of my OT materials. I remind her that these things are for all the kids, that I can’t just give away my materials. She palms a pom-pom on her way out, thinking she’s hiding it from me. I don’t say anything, I let it go. She’s only 30 seconds out the door before she turns around and comes back in, presses it into my hand, the guilt is too much. “I accidentally forgot I was holding this, I’m sorry,” she tells me, and I accept a pom-pom and an apology and don’t push it even an inch further, and she still won’t stop apologizing. Her heart is so sweet. She’s just hurting.

She whispers an insult out of nowhere. It’s technically directed at me, but I also know it’s not really *at* me. “You’re trash. You’re trash.” When I don’t reply, she gets a little louder. “You’re trash. Ha-ha, you’re just trash.”

In as completely innocent and nonjudgmental of a tone of voice as I possibly can, I cheerfully ask, “Who are you talking to?”

Again she dissolves. “You’re not trash, I’m sorry, it was mean, I know you’re not trash.” I tell her that it’s okay, that I’m not hurt, I know I’m not trash. I want to ask her who’s saying this, that it was in the forefront of her mind, but her speedy, thoughtful brain is already on to telling me different things.

We play a game. She’s the one making up the game. She has four ponies and they go around the OT room and do different activities, and I follow her lead. She usually gives me half the animals. Today she holds one out— “Here, you can have purple”— and then snatches it back. “Ha-ha, you actually get nothing. You don’t even get any.”

“Oh, okay,” I say neutrally, trying to read the situation.

She deflates a little, to my eyes. I’m not sure what I should do. It’s so obvious that she’s dying for power in a situation when she has none all day long. But I thought I was giving her power, by agreeing, by letting her control the game. If I fought with her, she might feel fleetingly powerful, but she feels so guilty about being “mean” that I don’t think it would last. I’m not sure how to spin it so that she can “win” this scenario the way she so desperately needs to.

Then…

I lean in. I play.

I stage whisper conspiratorially. “Wait, when you say, ‘Ha-ha, you get nothing,’ do you want me to say, ‘oh, okay,’ or do you want me to say,” and I become extremely dramatic, “AWWW MAAAANNNN, I wish *I* had a pony! Pleeeeeaseeeeeee let me have just oooooone ponyyyyyyy!!!!”

She absolutely, completely, lights up. “I want you to say awww mannnn!”

“Okay,” I agree, and then give an Oscar-worthy performance of Therapist Who Desperately Wishes They Could Play With One Of The Ponies.

She’s laughing by the end of it, and offering me two of the toys. “Here, you have half of them. Let’s go, they have to crawl through the maze. Wait—no, I have to crawl through the maze and you have to go on the balance beam.”

I’m all set and ready to ask whether I’m supposed to agree with the balance beam or protest my being barred from the maze. She’s one step ahead of me. She gives me a smile. “And you just say ‘oh okay’. I don’t want you to say awww mannnn anymore. I just want to play.”

“Oh, okay,” I say, and me and my ponies go on the balance beam, and she crawls through the maze, with a little flicker of light—power—re-lit. With the feeling that some time today, she won, and she didn’t even have to be against me to do it.

***

Resources for further reading are in the comments.

11/17/2023

Folks sometimes ask me my thoughts on ABA. I would like to share the following, as Todd Woodward (an autistic person with ADHD) has compiled this fantastic explanation along with so many articles to use as reference points.

Todd D. Woodward- [AuDHD]:
“As an advocate for neurodivergent individuals, autistic individual and parent of an autistic son, I share your concerns about the use of Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA). While it is true that some proponents of ABA claim to have made improvements, it is important to critically examine its underlying principles and potential consequences.

ABA has a history rooted in behaviorism, which views behavior as something that can be shaped through external reinforcement and punishment. This approach often ignores the underlying reasons for behaviors and focuses solely on modifying them. This can lead to harmful outcomes such as suppressing autistic traits, promoting compliance at the expense of autonomy, and causing emotional distress.

Even if ABA is marketed as focusing solely on safety concerns, it is important to consider the broader impact on a child's overall well-being. ABA's emphasis on normalization and conformity can create an environment that is not conducive to a child's authentic expression of self. It is crucial to prioritize a child's autonomy, self-determination, and emotional well-being when considering any intervention.

Instead of relying on behaviorist approaches like ABA, I would encourage you to explore alternative methods that prioritize a holistic understanding of the child's needs and strengths. Approaches like relationship-based interventions, collaborative problem-solving, and sensory integration can provide more respectful and effective support for neurodivergent individuals.

Remember, it's always important to critically evaluate any intervention or therapy and make decisions based on the individual needs and values of your child.”

https://autisticuk.org/does-aba-harm-autistic-people/

https://inappropriate-behavior.com/the-troubling-and-true-shared-lineage-between-aba-and-conversion-therapy/

https://neuroclastic.com/2021/05/03/aba-strategies/?fbclid=IwAR2lsXUpuv7Hpp17GS3ufUAv6_0PsS3HNSRIvq4QkotarXA_GQt9SCk0Jno

https://www.altteaching.org/us-government-reports-that-aba-doesnt-work/?fbclid=IwAR3gewLCSk3tqhnssugydYYjTjiCAEGyGzfH6sdsh0NWOrBFzp_xFVM_N_8

https://autisticscienceperson.com/why-aba-therapy-is-harmful-to-autistic-people/

https://tania.co.za/non-speaking-autistics-thoughts-on-aba/?fbclid=IwAR3SJKFbXPNDJtjGsDIvIBlCB68dWE37PlK89yjiDFMOai4gzccNHAIP6F0

https://journals.library.brocku.ca/index.php/SSJ/article/view/1331

http://www.capilanocourier.com/2021/01/01/aba-autism/

https://therapistndc.org/aba-is-not-effective-so-says-the-latest-report-from-the-department-of-defense/

https://a4aontario.com/2020/12/06/2020-has-not-been-a-good-year-for-aba-a-research-review/

https://m.youtube.com/watch?fbclid=IwAR0PMBFwrGGm9_K_EtuX5vArwOaBpF9N-zC8_1Z_HgmsGU3ZNYcfQfIZSuM&v=Iw0Qxz2dKNo&feature=youtu.be

https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/23311908.2019.1641258

https://neuroclastic.com/2020/10/14/behaviorism-is-dead-how-do-we-tell-the-autism-parents/

https://stopabasupportautistics.home.blog/2019/08/11/the-great-big-aba-opposition-resource-list

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2016/08/aba-autism-controversy/495272/

https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/fc06/322a4751cc6b994ba4b0f25ce9543de9eed7.pdf

http://strangeringodzone.blogspot.com/2017/05/analysing-responses-to-aba-critiques.html?m=1&fbclid=IwAR17CJax9MickuWrMPzPOXY-xo44VfQTGn-GgdiUCg2xwLoD-IMEX5BBe3I

A research review and explanation of why “behavioural interventions” are not appropriate for children, which includes details and a theoretical framework explaining how the field has failed autistic people.
“The Problem With Behaviourism” Tolley, 2019
☒https://endseclusion.org/research/the-problem-with-behaviorism/

“5 Reasons Even the “New ABA” Is Problematic” George, 2019
https://autisticmama.com/even-new-aba-is-problematic/

Review found that Conflicts of Interest where the study facilitator has a vested interest in the result are present in 70% of studies that examine ABA therapy, and those COIs are only acknowledged in 6% of the studies.
“Research Review: Conflicts of Interest (COIs) in autism early intervention research – a meta‐analysis of COI influences on intervention effects” Bottema‐Beutel et al, 2020
∞https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/jcpp.13249?fbclid=IwAR0kloENEYgoFzemfLiCYff6ZiBVlycwxlGQf74zUIQ6ov07udhmAvjRmoE

Compliance-based therapies have been found to cause harm, and according to this team could be considered abusive.
“How much compliance is too much compliance? Is Long-Term ABA Therapy Abuse?”
Sandoval-Norton & Shekhi, 2019
∞https://www.researchgate.net/publication/334377318_How_Much_Compliance_is_Too_Much_Compliance_Is_Long-Term_ABA_Therapy_Abuse

Training by repetition (a basic tool of most ABA and other behavioral conditioning) actually impairs learning for autistic people, according to this study which examined the positive and negative responses to this method of teaching.
“Standard Approach to Autism Education May Actually Impair Learning” Brooks, 2015
☒https://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/852372

and here is a massive list of various resources critiquing aba from a wide variety of perspectives:
https://stopabasupportautistics.home.blog/2019/08/11/the-great-big-aba-opposition-resource-list/

here's an academic critique of the autism industrial complex:
https://brill.com/view/journals/jdse/aop/article-10.1163-25888803-bja10008/article-10.1163-25888803-bja10008.xml?language=en

https://annsautism.blogspot.com/2017/04/autism-aba-and-pbs-some-questions.html?fbclid=IwAR09FbO-a33jP7X1Ne2vIpnF3tudMkju75L965ZCv_t5Ln3MCo-2ayPez1U&m=1

US Council on Independent Living July 21 resolution that all forms of ABA are abuse https://advocacymonitor.com/ncil-resolution/resolution-opposing-applied-behavioral-analysis-aba/

The link between ABA and PBS in this acedemic article by ABAers https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2223172/

PBS investigtion for policymakers: PBS claims are unsupportedhttps://orca.cardiff.ac.uk/125558/1/Corrected%20Thesis%20Friday%2013th%20September.pdf

Slow failure of PBS in schools globally - time to do something different https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/13603116.2017.1413732

https://pure.strath.ac.uk/ws/portalfiles/portal/107747195/McGill_Robinson_AA_2020_autistic_experiences_of_childhood_Applied_Behavioural_Analysis.pdf

https://www.emerald.com/insight/content/doi/10.1108/AIA-08-2017-0016/full/html

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/13623613211031403

https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.676303/full

https://therapistndc.org/aba-therapy-and-ptsd/?fbclid=IwAR145Ul3cahz8WELglgDgt8bokqAfkgom8H0GZuJCvKVBbaT2VxoXpMn9Uo

https://therapistndc.org/therapy/positive-behavior-support-pbs-positive-behavioral-interventions-and-supports-pbis-or-positive-reinforcement/?fbclid=IwAR0a03owH2SUrcXyUGkHJN_em66WF0NP2XLjCna9WEtiTUKWG8xDJC1BEZI

Does ABA Harm Autistic People? In this guest Article. Autistic Academic Shona Davison explores the history of ABA, and what it's effects are.

11/13/2023

As I was starting up the current round of my ADHD Parent Coaching Group, I had several parents (and therapists of parents who could benefit from this group) ask when I'll be running the group again, so I've gone ahead and scheduled the first two rounds of this group for 2024!

Please go to https://www.pathwayscounselingandwellness.com/register-for-coaching-group to learn more about these upcoming groups and to sign up to secure your appt in one of the next offerings.

---------------
Text from the image below reads:

ADHD Parent Coaching Group
Lacey Meehan, LMFT, Parent Coach

Who: Parents / guardians of children with ADHD

What: Introduction to ADHD - The ADHD brain & Neurodiversity; Parenting your ADHD child; Working
with the schools; Basics of medication management

When: 5 consecutive Wednesdays ; 2024 series #1 begins January 10; series #2 begins February 28

Where: Online using the Google Meets platform

Cost: $25/session (coaching is not reimbursable through health insurance)

Contact
www.PathwaysCounselingandWellness.com/register-for-coaching-group

11/02/2023

Hi all! In addition to therapy, I've recently also started providing some coaching services. My first parent coaching group (online!) starts on Wednesday November 8th.
Since this is coaching and not therapy, I am able to open this parent coaching group up to folks living anywhere in the USA.

Here's the text from the image on this post:
ADHD Parent Coaching Group

Who: Parents / guardians of children with ADHD

What: Introduction to ADHD, including - The ADHD brain; Neurodiversity; Parenting your ADHD child; Working with the schools; Basics of medication management for ADHD

When: Wednesdays Nov 8, 15, 22, 29, and Dec 6 @ 5pm PST

Where: Online using the Google meets platform

Cost: $25/session (Note: this is coaching, not therapy, and is not reimbursable through insurance)

Contact
www.pathwayscounselingandwellness.com/register-for-coaching-group

04/14/2023

This sums up many of my thoughts on the diagnosis of ODD.
ODD is a diagnosis that really does a huge disservice to those who receive it. It encourages folks to be punished and forced, instead of exploring what's going on behind those behaviors.
Thank you yet again to Mona Delahooke, Ph.D. for all your work that's helping us shift how we see, support, and guide children through this sometimes very difficult world 💜

04/12/2023

Much confusion out there in parenting techniques that are agnostic of physiology. Two examples: PCIT (Parent Child Interaction Therapy) and Triple P Parenting (Positive Parenting Program) emphasize positivity and connection, but on the backend—when behaviors become challenging—are built upon the status quo of viewing behavior through a compliance/non-compliance lens that results in the use of verbal rewards and punishments (ignoring) as consequences to motivate a change in behaviors. Our programs need updating and I wrote Brain Body Parenting to suggest how we update based on today's neuroscience and development research, not 5 decades ago.

04/02/2023

Mona Delahooke is a leader in this field and provides such a fantastic, compassionate lens through which to view our children - and ourselves.

03/20/2023

There's some great guidance in this post!

IEP's are filled with the word, 'behavior.'

Next time you look, highlight each instance and replace with more specific language.

Focus on developing skills and providing support.

Really think about it what's happening. 🤔

And if it isn't clear... Ask!

💜 ~Meghan

Yes, I provide IEP consultations, but I'm not a full-time advocate.

You can find more information here:
https://notanautismmom.com/iep/

[image description: Language to replace 'behavior' in a student's IEP:
social / emotional development
coping skills / sensory needs
communication needs / skills
trauma / stress response
alexithymia / interoception
ability to regulate/dysregulation

Remember: Focus on support, not compliance.