13/10/2025
Today is the day our dad took his last earthly breath in 2013
He had heard from our mom the night before that hospice was going to start and he could go “home”.
He finally heard the words he had been saying to her for months “joanie i just want to go home” and he would look at the sky or ceiling.
Mom heard “i need to eat, walk, get up by myself and i will be back in our apartment”
Carol Yeh-Garner and I knew what he meant- we work with geriatric clients. He was tired of all the doctor appointments, the multitude of pills and surgeries to “try” helping him live longer (or prolong his death as he used to say).
He prepared mom for his death: “go buy a new car that you like to drive.” “Go home and be with your friends and i will be taken care of by the nurses here at the care home. Come visit me once in a while- not all day and all night”, “go find good restaurants to try with the grandkids”, “make a way to organize all the financial statements we get every month”….& the list goes on. And so she did and somehow he knew it was time.
Oct 13, 2013: a nurse called me and said “you better come say bye to your dad”
my mom, her sister Nora who said “augie’s angels told my angels to fly out here from Virginia today to see him”, Austin Gee, and our cousin Jack were all in the room talking to dad and telling him to wait til Carol could get there as she hopped on a plane after we finally reached her (the one day she had turned off their phone ringers bc of their daughter’s sleep over party!)
Pandora played in the background. Michael Buble’s song “home” came on and mom held his hand and told him “im going to be fine. You should go if you want to” and then she went to the window with everyone else…
I sat next to dad as the lyrics to the song played:
Let me go home
I've had my run and baby, I'm done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
He raised both hands into the air like he was welcoming someone (that was his signature move), grinned a ginormous smile, let his arms down and took a deep breath in and that was it.
His spirit went home.
To be with his mom who he never saw after escaping the communists in china as a young man.
To be with his dad who worked so hard to help dad and his brothers pay for a way to leave China for a “better life”.
To be with so many friends and family who were waiting for him with open arms.
So today is a slow day.
Watching the sun rise thru the fog.
Making ghee and aloo gobi to share with friends.
Picking tomatoes and making sauce and fermented tomatoes for salsa.
Calling mom, carol and the boys to say H❤️la!
Eating a bacon peanut butter sandwich with a side of cottage cheese (dad’s favorites but he would have mixed them all together!!)
I’ll find some Michael Buble, nat king cole, andy williams and Elvis songs to put in a playlist - all the songs will be what he listened to and sang along to for his karaoke sessions with his friends!
Ill also go talk to him on the wind phone.
Carrying Our Loved Ones Within
We carry our loved ones
in the quiet corners of our days,
in the echo of a laugh,
the warmth of a touch,
the gentle guidance they once offered.
We honor them in the life we live,
in acts of kindness,
in passions pursued,
in values held close.
Grief and love intertwine,
and in that weaving,
their spirit becomes part of us,
a steady light,
a quiet, steadfast strength.
Even in our choices,
their wisdom guides us,
a subtle compass pointing the way.
To carry our loved ones within is to honor them,
to let their essence move through us,
shaping the rhythm of our days,
reminding us that love endures,
even beyond presence.
~ 'Carrying Our Loved Ones Within' by Spirit of a Hippie
✍️ Mary Anne Byrne
~ Art by Serin Alar Serin Alar
