05/08/2026
Have you heard of the Dog Food Diet?
Yesterday I went to Publix Grocery Store I bought a large bag of dog food, I was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
So on impulse, I told her no, I did not have a dog, I was starting the dog food diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 15 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete, (certified), so it works well and that is why i’m trying it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked, you ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned you? I told her no!!! I had stopped to p*e on a fire hydrant and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Publix will not let me shop there anymore.
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