Karen McIntyre, LMFT

09/26/2024

Sometimes it's good to talk to a professional about your personal goals. I can guide you and keep you accountable.

Individual counseling can help you be the best you can be. Limiting beliefs can hold you back from taking steps toward your dreams.

05/06/2023

Warning: Increase in Drugging and Sexual Assaults

Recently I am noticing a large increase in people seeking help after sexual assaults that have happened after being drugged unconscious. The availability of date r**e drugs on the black market, the increase of sexual perversion, the decrease in moral values, and increase in selfishness and darkness is all coming together to create a social climate where the unthinkable is happening. My intention in this blog is to sound an alarm and warn people of some present dangers.

In the cases I have seen recently, the perpetrator has been known by the victim. Please do not accept a drink or food from someone when you go out or even in their home unless you trust them explicitly with your life and body! In a few recent cases the victim knew the person for under a year. One even shorter. My advice is to take your own beverages with you! If you are ordering a drink at a restaurant or club, get it yourself from the server and do not leave it unattended. In most of the cases I have heard about just a few sips causing dizziness, impaired functioning and unconsciousness. If they would have had a whole drink, they very well could be dead today. Be careful!! Don’t leave your drink unattended! If going out dancing, consider bringing your own bottled water! It is not necessary to drink alcohol to dance! Don’t go afterwards with people that are not long-term trusted friends! If you are with someone who is having a large reaction to their beverage, help them to get safely home! If you are using an on-line dating app, beware. Anyone can pretend to be anything they want you to believe. The world is changing: be on guard!

If you are drugged and sexually assaulted: it is a crime! Go immediately to a doctor for STD testing and to the police for forensics. Don’t be silent because you are ashamed! The shame is on them, not you! This crime is horrendous! Such disregard for people’s right to consent is pathological and sociopathic and criminal. It must be stopped! If everyone will stand up and say no, report predators, and press charges, the tide of these crimes will relent. Let’s send a strong message and send these people to jail where they belong!

Those who have been drugged and sexually assaulted might not have memories of what happened and very well might find themselves having panic attacks, anxiety, depression, and great shame . Let’s remember, the body keeps the score even when there is not lucid memory of the event. Please get help! There is hope for wholeness after sexual assault!

You are not alone! With such an increase of these crimes, doctors and police are taking reports much more seriously. So don’t hide in shame, Take care of yourself and do what you can to stand up against these crimes.

For more information about the kinds of drugs used and how to protect yourself and your friends check out this web site below. Information is power!

Date r**e drugs alter consciousness to make self-defense and decision-making difficult. Included is a list of types and details on protecting yourself.

05/02/2023

When you have a neurotypical child, you feel reasonably assured that class participation and decent study habits will result in good grades. These kids have close friends. They get invited to participate in social things like dances and weekend gatherings. They make the teams, auditions, organizations and clubs.

But when you have a child that is neurodivergent, this is often not the case. Learning may take longer, both academically and socially. Despite their tremendous efforts, results are often a fraction of their peers and social acceptance is fleeting, setting them up for painful comparisons and bitter frustration and rejection by their peers; they are often made fun of and excluded from groups and activities. Instead of a fun and fulfilling experience, school can become a breeding ground for depression and anxiety, and assignments a battle ground at home. It is exhausting for parent and child alike.

This is the week of SPED (Special Education), Autism, Dyslexia, and ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) awareness.

For all the children who struggle every day to succeed in a world that does not recognize their gifts and talents, and for those who are walking beside them, please let this be a gentle reminder to be kind and accepting of ALL people. Recognize that the "playing field" is not always a level surface.

Children who learn differently are not weird. They are merely gifted in ways that our society does not value enough. Yet they want what everyone else wants: To be accepted!

If you choose, please "copy and paste" (by touching and holding the text) onto your profile in honor of all children who are deemed "different". Our world would be far less beautiful without them.
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤

12/31/2020

5 Minute Relationship Adjustment!

Hi friends! This is the last post for 2020! And don’t we all want to leave a few things behind! Here is a great thought that can help if you have a relationship issue. And if you are in connection with people there will always be relationship rubs!

Ask yourself, what is the goal of this relationship? Yes, it’s that easy and quick! If the goal of your relationships are ease, fun, peaceful every minute of every day, then one will work hard to avoid conflict and the normal rub that being in relationship offers. If the goal of your relationships and life is personal growth and allowing the character of Christ to be fully formed in you, then you will look at relationship discomfort as growth opportunities! See my article “Thanks For The Material” for more on this. When I see others quirky behaviors and see that they are a gift in my life to help me work on me, then no longer are they overwhelming, but uniquely placed in my life for us to grow together. Perspective is everything!

Blessing to you as you leave this past 2020 and grow into 2021!

12/08/2020

Where Is God? And why did he...

One of the most common questions I hear in challenging times like we are now in is the one above. The feeling of being alone and abandoned by God is a lie! We are never alone if we have chosen to be His. it is in getting back into His presence that we can rest in His love and this is certainly time to do that!

I know what it’s like to have mountains in your life that seem so large that it’s hard to see past them. Here are a few ways I get above the mountains or trials in my life.
• Recalling all the times the Lord has gotten me through hard times reminds me that he will do it again!
• Reviewing prophetic words spoken over me reminds me that he is not done with me yet and the current trials are preparing me for what is yet in my future!
• Standing on scripture: Romans 8:28 is a good one! For we know that all things work together for good to those who are called according to His purposes!
• Worship! We can ascend through worshiping him! Songs that have helped me through this season have been: to worship you I live, alpha and Omega, Beauty Beauty Beautiful, and my new favorite as of today is Highlands Song Of Ascent on YouTube by Upper Room. Probably because I have some Scottish background and it sounds Scottish!
• When I start feeling His presence: I nurture that and keep connecting with Holy Spirit. If I feel him wash over me while doing something around the house, I turn aside to engage Him!
• Thanking Him always opens up the heavenly gates for me! And the list is so very long of things I can thank Him for!
• Breaking agreement with lies my soulish feelings might believe.

I’m sure you have more ways than I do that get you in the Lord’s presence! Lets share them! It’s a time to stay and rest in His presence and in His love!

if you cannot shift out of a negative narrative, give me a call and I’ll help you work through it!

11/19/2020

Just Because You Feel It…

L…Doesn’t mean it’s yours. I spent a few hours with a family unit who were not walking closely with God early this week.
The next morning I woke up feeling a weight of heaviness, hopeless, darkness. When I went to the Lord to ask what is up and why was I feeling it he immediately told me that it wasn’t mine. Phew! I knew that I had a hard situation I had to face and didn’t think it was mine - I never feel that way. When I broke agreement with the heaviness it immediately lifted. What was left was an acute awareness of what darkness covers some people and how hard it must be to live under it. I felt it for 15 minutes. I had a renewed compassion for those who “sit in darkness” and such appreciation for the light that I get to live in daily!

My point? Just because you feel it doesn’t mean it’s yours! Ask the Lord if it’s yours. Ask Him where it came from and who to pray for! The Lord would not have let me feel it unless I was to use my authority to bind it and release His light. It’s good to ask him what He wants you to do about it now that you have sensed it. From my experience, if he gives me discernment to sense it , then I can pray and stop it. And I can release from Heaven’s abundance what is needed for that situation. We have the keys of the Kingdom! Let’s use them!

10/14/2020

Recently I was thinking about that old saying, “short term pain leads to long term gain.” And, boy, are we ever in times of “short term – more like medium-term” pain! As a country and as individuals facing uncertain times and inevitable change. Check out my latest blog for more information on how cellular trapped emotions can affect us.

If we use these times to get underneath the negative expectation and fear narrative that past trauma might have taught us, this can be an opportunity to grow, heal, and get more than ever anchored in peace, faith, and hope.

09/06/2020

Covid and Su***de

This week I talked to a middle schooler who told me that she had 5 - yes five friends who are currently suicidal. Yikes. Kids depressed, lonely, who have no hope, and who are afraid to tell their parents how they feel. Five children who are feeling hopeless because of a lack of friend connections and no one to tell what they are going through.

Please don’t take for granted if your teens or their friends are depressed that they will not be suicidal! Take the time to ask the hard questions and have a real conversation. Find out if they are having thoughts, ideations, if they have a plan, and if they have the ability to carry out that plan. Take the time to help them “zoom out” to see the bigger picture: that even though we are in a valley time, better times are ahead! And that committing su***de is a very permanent solution for temporary problems.
Ask them who would be hurt by taking the step to end their life. Please let the parents know! They have the need to… even if the child doesn’t want parents to know. There is much help available for kids and anyone who is in need! Here is the number of the Su***de Hotline: 1 800 273 8255. There will always be a trained person available to help. If the person is actively suicidal and has acted or is going to act out that plan, then call the Crisis Team at 805 652-6165. Please do something… never take a su***de threat lightly - the cost is way too high!

One more thought. Many depressed children may not be voicing that they are suicidal but may be hating their life or themselves so much that they will be silently cutting themselves. Self-harm by cutting is very prevalent these days. It’s a real cry for help and shows they are not far from feeling suicidal. If you know a seriously depressed teen, please check out their arms and legs for cut marks. It’s a real sign that this child needs intervention. Please don’t take cutting lightly either! Our Children are way too important!

08/15/2020

Covid Grief

This week I have encountered more than a few people who are grieving. There is a lot to grieve right now. Some are calling it Covid fatigue. Maybe for some: but I am calling it Covid grief.

A young woman putting her college future on hold because she is not sure if her dreams will be possible now with changes in education. Another finding past losses triggered because of todays losses. People losing income. Families struggling to work and manage the kids’ education online. Loss of freedoms, connections, healthy ways we coped with life such as going to church, to the gym, exercise classes, out to eat with friends. Some have lost family or friends to Covid 19…the list goes on. People are questioning if their future will ever be the same: and what to do about that. This certainly is loss: and if you are feeling grief because of the loss you are not alone.

What I want to remind you is that there are many stages in the grief or loss cycle. Each of these stages are normal reactions: shock or denial, anger or irritability, bargaining, depression and acceptance. It’s important to know that when you find yourself dealing with one of these stages – please know that it is a snapshot of a day in your life– not your new life. They are an emotion in a stage, to pass through, not a place to set up camp in! The goal is to move through these stages to get to the place of acceptance and peace.

Whether one is struggling with unhealthy coping skills or conflicted emotions, trust is always the way to move through any stage or emotion you are feeling. Surrender and trust. Proverb 3:5-7 says Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths. In days like these: none of us know what the future holds: keeping your hand in the hand of the One who knows the future and has already overcome it is a good way to get through. The bottom line will be to work through issues of trust. Remembering how God has kept you, led you, provided for you, will help you grab onto that strong arm of the lord that is always reached out to walk with you and help you! Working on reasons it’s hard to trust learned from past traumas will help release negative expectation life has taught you. Writing a list of all the times you trusted and God got you through, or times you have gotton through hard times will help you build a stronghold of faith and trust that you and God will do it again. Now is a great time to get a tune up emotionally to be the best you can be! Emdr is a great way to desensitize and reprocess grief and sadness!

08/04/2020

A strategy to turn negative to positive.

If you are having difficulty letting go of the past, there is hope for you!

07/28/2020

Here are some positive "love confessions" you can use to exercise your love muscle.

Learn how to shift your heart condition.

07/21/2020

When it comes to black white thinking – the goal is gray-ce! Yes, grace!

Black white thinking can actually be defense mechanisms that are protecting one’s heart!