01/07/2026
We all face uncivil behavior or insulting comments at times, but you can choose how to react, Arthur C. Brooks wrote in June. https://theatln.tc/NzlQ49Jb
“With high levels of polarization and innumerable ways to broadcast one’s every thought to strangers far and wide, it is easier than ever to lob insults and to denigrate ideological foes,” Brooks writes. But for most people, “being too easily offended is worse for one’s own quality of life than being obnoxiously rude. So instead of spending your efforts trying to stamp out what you find offensive, you should work on being less offended in the first place.”
In 1976, the psychologist Wolfgang Zander argued that we get offended in three stages: “First, we identify when we’re insulted or harshly contradicted; second, we assess how extreme the offense is; finally, we respond emotionally or in some behavioral way,” Brooks explains. However, how we respond can be a little out of our conscious control.
“The point of describing the neurological and psychological mechanisms that underpin taking offense is that knowledge is power,” Brooks explains. “If you know what’s happening to you when you feel offended, that’s the first step toward controlling how you respond.”
One strategy is to try avoiding anyone who might offend you, which involves trying to control your environment. “But the more you try to expand the scope of that control, the less effective and the more costly it will become for you and others,” Brooks continues. “Better by far to control yourself—by learning to be less offended.”
🎨: Jan Buchczik
