07/26/2025
When someone receives a terminal diagnosis, or begins to decline from age or illness, something devastating often happens quietly, beneath the surface: they begin to lose their autonomy. Suddenly, everyone around them is telling them what they should feel, how they should think, how to cope, how to fight, even how to die. Grief, hope, acceptance - these are deeply personal experiences, but they often get drowned out by well-meaning voices trying to make sense of it all. In the process, the person at the center of it, the one living it, is often silenced.
We must do better. We have to protect a person’s right to decide what this chapter of their life looks like, no matter how uncomfortable it makes us. Their words, their wishes, and their boundaries matter up until their very last breath. Even if their choices don’t align with what we would want, they are still theirs to make. Dying is not something we get to do for someone else. What we can do is honor them with our presence, our listening, and our unwavering respect.
This is why conversation matters, real conversation. Talk to the people you love about what’s most important to them. Ask them what they want, how they feel, and what they fear. Be the person who listens in a way that makes them feel heard. And when they tell you, don’t rush to fix it or change it, just hold it. Carry their words like something sacred. Because in the end, the greatest act of love might not be saving someone, it might be showing up exactly as they have asked you to, even when your heart wants something different.
xo
Gabby
My book "The Conversation" can guide you toward having this difficult conversation.
You can find it here: https://a.co/d/9TUHqwL
