03/09/2018
I hated being a girl, but I absolutely love being a woman.
As a girl I remember feeling like I lost the lottery. Like there was all this freedom and wildness that boys were entitled to that wasn’t offered to me. I had no interest in doing anything “like a girl” and from a very early age felt a sort of deep-seated (yet unconscious) frustration with a culture that wanted me to be acquiescent and demure. I really wanted a Mohawk, was annoyed that my brothers got to be topless when I had to wear a shirt and had no interest in idle chit-chat, playing with dolls or wearing dresses. Just let me wear my blue track suit that glows in the dark and we’ll call it a day.
Like all humans though, some part of me also really wanted to fit in - to be accepted into and protected by the “tribe.” The tribe of my family and of my culture. And since I’m sensitive I could read pretty easily what I needed to do to stay on the normal side of weird or the acceptable side of confrontational. For me, this was a great source of being “split.” Stephen Cope writes, “Freud believes that this split is the very nature of neurosis. And that none of us can avoid it. It is, apparently, a part of the human experience.”
Fast forward a few decades and I fu***ng love being a woman! In some of the yogic traditions it’s said that women are 16 times more sensitive than men. Sixteen times!! And that’s not saying 16 times better, just more sensitive. In other words, in the same way that dogs can hear things that as humans we’re completely oblivious too, there’s a world that women are attuned to that men simply can’t access.
All of us alive today were undeniably born into a long-standing patriarchy. My mind is blown on the daily at how deeply it’s been ingrained in us that the male-dominated perspective is the “accurate” perspective. Because of this women’s sensitivity has been terribly skewed and labeled as everything from “drama” to “hysteria” to “paranoia” to “delusion”. Whatever you want to call it, the bottom line has been that it’s “wrong” and “ridiculous.”
But the tides are changing and as women we are, slowly but surely, no longer asking for validation (continued 👇🏼)