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Andrea Kinnaugh, LMFT, Wake Forest, NC (2026)

05/07/2026

A big part of my practice being relationship focused is working with individuals on understanding who they are so they can understand their reactions:

Why they want what they want.

How it feels good.

What makes their font, flair, & flavor them.

Once we know more of who we are it becomes uncomfortable to be anything but ourselves. For those that want the real version of the you, this is exactly what they're looking for.

Does that mean that being in alignment is easier on our relationships? Respectfully, f×ck no. Lol. Humans are complicated & messy even when they are being real. But the trust and intimacy that is being created is a true flex.

04/30/2026

Different versions of us craved Different things. When we learn to integrate all of our
stories + scars we also have to apply that integration to our relationships.

We may have craved what was familiar. What allowed us to chase, to prove, or to hide.

We may have craved what we never had. What allowed us to be needed, desired, or to be
out of / completely in control.

So what happens when we no longer let our hurt drive our connections and we crave something different from our relationships?

Well, there are choices. One could do the oh so tricky thing and see if these relationships can evolve with us or stay in relational patterns that no longer serve us but are familiar - or we can choose to honor what it was and learn to let go.

04/22/2026

Happy April! I wouldn't be a therapist online if I didn't know that there has been A LOT of chatter about therapists online, recently. I think the rule book is changing for both online & in the therapy room - therapists are moving away from the blank slate we were told to be and acknowledging the importance of our self congruency in the therapy room and on these platforms.

My monthly glimmers + playlists was a way for me to bridge that congruency. These are truly items in my life and songs that I'm listening to that bring me joy. Connecting over music and treasures is so human to me but without being intrusive. Since this platform is for my therapy practice, I see it as my ethical responsibility that you know something about me as a human and it is also my ethical responsibility to limit that information. There are no exact rules but my guiding star is if I wouldn't share it with a client, I wouldn't post it on this page.

As for the music, it's giving breezy, open all the windows, and let all the air bring movement to the stagnant nooks of your emotions and corners of your home.

the glimmers
A t-shirt that I get the most compliments on from one of the most fun events, the most grounding wooden candlesticks, hiking / roadtrip adventure inspiration cards, beautiful hoops when I want to feel fancy, olives are the perfect snack, and a perfect glass that holds the perfect martini.

I hope April has been kind to you ✨️

04/15/2026

Confidence is just some smoke and mirrors bravado in comparison to Competence.

While being competent at a task / job can be hot all on its own, competencey in relationships is next level. Showing up in your relationship because you want them, value them, and have taken time to understand them is peak emotional IQ.

So much of my job as a relational therapist is moving people from checking boxes or attempting to balance a ledger, to wanting to fully show up in their relationship because they're choosing their relationship. When someone sees themselves as competent in their relationship, they don't need constant reassurance that are doing a good job because they know what their relationship feels and looks like when they are.

Building trust, accountability, clear communication, and being responsible are not just team building skills, gorgeous reader. But just something to keep in mind, we all the know the difference between the person who likes what they do and the person who's just checking the boxes.

04/08/2026

The tricky thing about language is that we judge words and the word "conditional" has a vibe. How can we love someone and have conditions? We're taught it's selfish or not real love. That real love is loving someone no matter what.

No matter what?

Real love is active. Actively choosing someone. Actively choosing ourselves to be the someone the people in our lives deserve. Actively repairing and owning our mistakes. This is not about perfection - because no one is perfect. It's knowing that we play an active and not passive role in our relationships.

Bell Hooks describes true love as a conscious choice and action that is rooted in respect, care, responsibility, and justice. What I often see in sessions is someone asking to be loved fully BUT they do not show respect, care, or responsibility towards their person and are unable to see the injustice of their behavior.

So whether it is friendly or romantic, how are you treating the love you are given? Are you actively choosing your relationships or are you expecting them to be there no matter what?

04/02/2026

How someone treats you is all the proof you need. I completely get finding people's behaviors fascinating - it's literally my job. But have you considered that being fascinated by why they do what they do has you stuck trying to solve the why instead of feeling the oof?

Relationships are not supposed to be torturous riddles. It is supposed to be fun getting to know someone and exciting to let them get to know you. So here's a not so gentle nudge to stop being fascinated by their behavior and become fascinated by your ability to discern if this is what you want.

03/25/2026

I've always loved the saying that March can either come in like a lion or a lamb and that it will go out as the one it didn't come in as. These old adages were meant to create comfort and hope when life, just like the weather, is always changing and very hard to predict.

This time last year, I had no idea if it was the right time to start my own practice. I was unexpectedly grieving while throwing myself into all the newness of owning a business. Nothing about the timing seemed perfect. It was messy. I made mistakes. But there was a surprising amount of amazing moments and ease. Maybe the reminder is there always seems be a little bit of lion and a little bit of lamb.

This month's playlist is all the spring vibes of letting go of cuffing season and leaning into all the new. Whether that's new status, new people, or you just refreshing you.

This month's glimmers...

*A bright green cutting board that can handle all the chopping and looks cute on the counter

*I love the perfect slicing on a mandoline but I also love my fingers which is why I have this glove.

*That is not trail mix - that is bird seed. I'm not ready to get another pup but I love the routine of taking care of an animal. So now I feed the birds.

*Maybe it's because I'm a Pisces or because I love fishsticks but I needed these candles.

*I'm always on the hunt for the best Earl Grey tea. These are my favorite right now. If you have a recommendation, let me know.

*This lotion spray is great for the skin and keeps me smelling lovely. Ifykyk

*I have a love for gummy candy and these are a new favorite. Assorted sour, sweet, and different textures! Not to mention, all the spring vibes.

I hope March has been sweet to you ✨️

03/18/2026

All feelings are data and a crush is a gorgeous conduit for waking up some forgotten parts of you. From a psychology perspective, a crush is a projection of the parts we like about ourselves. The reality is that until / if you actually get to know them, they're your creation - they can be whatever you want them to be and, in return, you get to be whoever you want to be.

So who is this crush allowing you to be?

What are the feelings you have about your current crush telling you about you?

What if it's really about you falling for your hot self?

03/11/2026

It's insulting to your pleasure to use it as a band aid. S*x is a gorgeous form of communication but it is supposed to be a congruent extension of what has already been shared. It cannot replace the healing and intimate powers of when clarity with words is required.

*x

03/04/2026

Our unfulfilled kiddo dreams are a fork in the road - you can take the path of seeing them as unachieved regrets and failures OR you can take my preferred path and you can keep dreaming.

At a psychological level, our willingness to dream is a neuroplasticity hack that unstucks our brain and allows for imagination, creativity, and happiness in the possibility of what-if!

Dreams are insights into our needs, but not necessarily goal posts. So we may need to update our dreams to our present self but the allowing of a wish, regardless of its practicality, lights a much needed fire in our souls.

Our ability to hold our creativity, style, and authenticity even when others can't see our vision means that our passion is not connected someone else's measure. I cannot say there won't be rejection and roadblocks but why can't our belief in ourselves be limitless?

02/26/2026

Happy February! This month's glimmers are all the things that brought me comfort, connection, and hope. I ask for so much vulnerability and trust in my therapy room that sharing these pieces of me and my world seem like a fair offering. These items and songs are truly in my life. There are clinical boundaries needed in my professional world, I'm learning more and more the importance of letting people in my personal life into my true world. My question for you to ponder is, are you letting people into your beautifully weird world??

This month's playlist is drama you can dance to, make-out to, or cry to. It's whatever you need.

The glimmers

Mug - a gorgeous mug to hold all the gorgeous hot beverages in this chilly weather

Kumquats - little bursts of joy! They're sweet like an orange/ sour like a lemon and I had so much fun introducing them to my youngest niece

Babybel- therapists love snacks because we don't typically have time for a meal between sessions and these gems are the perfect bite

Bay leaf - I add them to soups and stews or burn them written with hopes and wishes. Either way, they're magic

Mushrooms - who doesn't love whimsy?? These salt and pepper shakers are the perfect dose and apropos to my KAP work

Poems- a couple of years ago, I started to buy a book of poetry in February. This one is a dark, s*xy, beautiful gem. I was blessed to see him perform before he passed and still enjoy the rawness of his words

I hope your February has had moments fun and ease ✨️

02/18/2026

In the solar system of a relationship, each person is like a planet orbiting around the relationship like it's the sun...

If one person decides to put themselves in the center, the relationship and the other person orbit around them; centering the relationship around that person's needs. The gravitational pull is based on their perspectives, wants, and point of view which leaves out the other person and the relationships needs. It becomes caretaking.

Have you been able to center the relationship or is one of you wanting to eclipse the sun?

Andrea Kinnaugh, LMFT

05/07/2026

04/30/2026

04/22/2026

04/15/2026

04/08/2026

04/02/2026

03/25/2026

03/18/2026

03/11/2026

03/04/2026

02/26/2026

02/18/2026

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