Mariposa Living

08/05/2024

CALL THEM CLOSE

By not saying a passed one’s name,
you’re not protecting the grieving,
from a wave of sadness…

Those waves are higher-ruled,
like the moon and the tides.

By withholding a lost one’s name,
you’re not saving the grieving,
from a sadness they had forgotten.

They never forget that.

Saying a name,
does something far more powerful,
than create more pain.

I believe it calls them,
from where they are.

I believe, it brings them,
into that moment.

I believe,
it fills the air with an energy,
that’s so very much full of them.

I believe, my friends,
that it keeps them with us.

And if there is a legacy in this life
then surely it is simply this.

So be brave,
call them close.
I think they would like that.

I think they’d like that, very much indeed.

Donna Ashworth

From Growing Brave

Beautiful art by Tracie Grimwood

You may pre-order growing brave here 🌱 https://www.waterstones.com/win/growing-brave-prize-draw

06/29/2024

I sent you a little white feather
I placed it right there in your way
I wrapped it in love with a message
to let you know you’ll be okay

I drew you a colourful rainbow
It followed your car for a while
I made a spectacular rainbow
I hoped it would show me your smile

I flew down a beautiful robin
It landed right there on your ledge
I prayed he would give you the strength
to push yourself back from the edge

I try every day to remind you
that I never did go away
the feathers, the rainbows, the robins
are my way of trying to stay.

~ 'Feathers' by Donna Ashworth

From ‘LOSS’; poems to better weather the many waves of grief

~ Art by Gillian Rule

06/21/2024

Toxic positivity, even if well-intentioned, often dismisses one’s pain in grief. There is no silver lining in grief, and trying to find one will only further isolate your loved one. Instead, being present, listening, and showing up for them is far more meaningful than trying to find the “right” words to say.

In grief, actions are often stronger than words. Instead of trying to “fix” their pain or cheer them up, create a safe space for them to express their grief authentically.

06/12/2024

05/01/2024

In grief, closure isn't the goal. You're not shutting the door on the love you shared with those who've passed. Instead, you're opening a new chapter, forging a different kind of connection with them.

Have others urged you to seek closure?

Share your experiences below, and let's explore how our relationships continue to evolve with those we've lost.

04/15/2024

Tender Hearts online grief group now has 25 different weekly groups on Mondays. On Wednesday and Thursday, you can speak with David directly. Fridays, we hear from a many people in grief on a new topic each week. You can be on camera and participate or off camera and just watch. Join us on as many sessions each week as you would like, just like grief there’s no right way to do Tender Hearts. We would love for you to join us if you are experiencing loss.

Here are the specific loss groups:

• Death of a Child 17 and under
• Death of a Child 18-26
• Death of a Child 27+
• Death of an Only Child/ All of Your Children
• Death of a Spouse/Partner/Fiancé 50 and under
• Death of a Spouse/Partner/Fiancé Spouse 51 - 60
• Death of a Spouse/Partner/Fiancé Spouse 61 - 70
• Death of a Spouse/Partner/Fiancé 71 and older
• Death of a Mother
• Death of a Father
• Death of a Sibling
• Miscarriage, Still Birth, Infant death
• Death by Su***de
• Fentanyl Poisoning
• Death by Addiction
• Death by Murder
• Death by Long Illness/ Cancer /Dementia
• Newly Bereaved
• Secondary Losses
• Multiple Losses
• Older Losses
• People of Color
• LGBTQ+
• Faith
• Afterlife

For more info visit TenderHeartsSupport.com
It is a very reasonable monthly fee and access is important to us, so no one is turned away for a lack of funds.

04/07/2024

Grief is always about death - whether the actual death of another person, the loss of a relationship or career, the loss of a trust in another, or even the loss of an opportunity or time. Grief can tangle us up, making it hard to see a path forward.

04/07/2024

Before you read, this is not a grammatical error… read it again ❤️☺️

YOUR PERFECT

If you are not broken,
bruised,
weathered
and worn,
where have you been my friend?

If your battered heart,
does not still break,
every day,
then perhaps you are not paying attention?

Don’t come out of this life
preserved and perfect my friend,
you're supposed to crumble
and rebuild a million times over,
until your soul is satisfied,
you have given your all.

Because that’s why you are here.

Your perfect is not needed,
but your broken is very important,

very important indeed.

Donna Ashworth
From ‘life’

UK: https://amzn.eu/d/9Y6E6kz
US: https://a.co/d/4EvMqqA

Art by Taynee Tinsley

04/03/2024

A clinical trial conducted by researchers at Stanford found a ketogenic diet may help people with schizophrenia or bipolar disorder.

04/03/2024

04/03/2024

04/01/2024

For a long time I was led to believe that looking for the good in everything was a weakness. That is was naive and foolish to build up a world that would try to tear me down.

But to look for good,
to be determined to find it,
to believe that it exists in a world
that has proved it is capable of harbouring the complete opposite…

I don’t think that’s weakness and I don’t think it’s naive.

I think that’s hope. I think it’s faith.
To rise from the dark, to stand before something that has tried to bury you and to say “I am still full of light”…
I think that’s strength.

Those who look for the good and assume the best are not doing so because they think the world is always bright and sunny and gentle.

They’re doing it because if nobody looked for the light,
if no-one searched for the soft edges
or sought out the warmth,
then the world would be perpetually cold and dark and rough. And they know that the world deserves better than that.

But mostly, they’re doing it because they know
that if you don’t look for something -
if you assume that it just cannot be found -
then there’s a very good chance
that you’ll never find it.

And they know it's there.
The good. The light. The warmth.
And they're determined to find it.

Even if it means becoming it themselves.

*****

Becky Hemsley 2024
Beautiful artwork by AZYZA

03/31/2024

I held a party the other week and grief came.

She wasn’t invited but she came anyway - barged her way in through the door and settled down like she was here to stay.

And then she introduced me to the friends she’d brought with her - Anger. Fear. Frustration. Guilt. Hopelessness.

And they sang in the loudest voices, took up space in every corner of the room and spoke over anyone else that tried to talk.

They made it messy and loud and uncomfortable.

But finally, they left.

And long afterwards, when I was all alone,
I realised there was still someone here.
Quietly clearing up after the rest.

I asked who she was and she told me, “Love.”

And I assumed that’s why she looked familiar - because I had met her before.
“Or perhaps,” she said, “it’s because I’ve been here the whole time.”

And I was confused then because I hadn’t seen her all evening.

But when I looked more closely,
when I looked into her eyes,
I realised quietly that she had been here.
All the time.

She’d just been dressed as grief.

*****

Becky Hemsley 2023
Image created with Canva

I share this poem a lot because I think it can be quite comforting to think of grief as simply love in disguise ❤

‘Afterparty’ is from the book When I Am Gone
https://a.co/d/35WJcRh

03/31/2024

For anyone missing someone today…🩶

How do I live without you?
Oh my love I do not.

You are with me from the moment I open my eyes
until they close.
And even after that,
on the plane of dreams where mortals and souls meet, you are with me still.

“I’ve not learned to live without you,
perhaps I never will,
the truth of the matter is,
you are always with me still.”

You walked such a blazing pathway, when your feet were on this earth, that your imprint lingers on and I place my own feet in your steps, one by one.

How do I live without you?
It’s really very simple.
I do not.

“I have yet to live without you,
perhaps I never will,
perhaps the key to grief is,
you are always with me still.”

Donna Ashworth
From ‘Wild Hope’ 🩶
https://amzn.eu/d/eDGFsCs

Art by Amanda Cass

03/28/2024

Last chance - registration closing

Join me and amazing guest speakers in my upcoming Grief Educator Training. We start on April 2nd

This results-driven online program is designed for anyone who wants to help others in grief. No experience or certification is required. We'll combine weekly teaching and a hands-on lab approach to give you the tools to help others remember with more love than pain.

I'll be teaching every week as well as leading the labs.
And, we have amazing bonus guest speakers. Some of whom are psychiatrists, authors, coaches, leaders of change-making organizations, as well as those who have walked through grief and are turning their pain into purpose.

Nancy Levin - Setting Boundaries in grief
Heidi Horsely - The Importance of the Counselor and Non-Professional Support in Grief
Frank Anderson, MD - Trauma and loss
Elvia Foulke - When the Medical Outcome Feels Like Grief
Liz Hernandez - Alzheimer’s and Life’s Losses
Rachel Hanfling -The Power of Your Story
Shari O’Loughlin - Turning Pain Into Purpose
Vicky Jay - Children and Grief
Dr. Christine Yu Moutier - On Grief and Su***de
Cordelia Wallace and Rabbi Steve Leder - Faith and Grief
Paul Denniston - Grief in The Body
Kim Goldman - Death of a Sibling and Grief After Murder

Join me in this transformational training and become a certified Grief Educator. Info at www.davidkesslertraining.com/certification