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Dr. Benjamin A. Dukes, LICSW, RDT, RYT

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Washington D.C., DC
Dr. Benjamin A. Dukes, LICSW, RDT, RYT

Therapist in private practice who believes representation self-care, and wellbeing matter.

10/02/2024

"Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is to embrace the part of you that the world tries to silence." -Unknown

08/04/2024

"Sometimes when I do something nice for myself, I can f͎e͎e͎l͎ my inner child say, "𝑭𝒐𝒓 𝑴𝒆?!" ❤️

This statement is soooooo true and so important. For a long time, I used to feel this when I gave permission for and allowed myself "indulgences" -- big and small -- like everytime I went to Disneyworld or when I buy two scoops of my favorite ice cream or I watch a new anime or when I go sit under a tree and just be.

As I get older, though, I found my inner child dancing for joy when I do things that are important for my love, life, health, and overall existence. For example, my Mom is here visiting us for a few weeks. It is not lost on me how much of a gift it is that I was able to go and pick my 83-year-old mother with my fiancé, Zitro CK, up from the airport to then go and laugh and enjoy each other's company at brunch.

My inner child jumped for joy for so many reasons: my Mom was visiting, she is visiting in the home I share with the man I'm going to marry, my Mom uncondtionally supports my love and doesn't give 'two sh*ts' that my love is a man, etc. (I can write a long list but I am just going to pause here.)

It feels like such a gift. I often reflect back on my seven-year-old Self (affectionately referred to as Benji), and I can just feel his joy, excitement, surprise, and overall delight that this is something he gets to experience!

I know this because I remember being 7 growing up in rural Louisiana and never feeling like I would be able to experience true and complete happiness because nothing that I could see around me in my life at the time supported the notion that love between two men would be embraced.

Welp, leave it to my Momma to prove me wrong! That's what unconditional love can do!

So, yes, Benji is doing cartwheels inside me because he continues to marvel at the wonder of this existence he never imagined experiencing -- when I talk about the gratitude I often feel, I suspect that my inner child and all his wonder is likely the source.

Have an amazing day, Y'all,
Dr. Ben (Dr. D)

06/28/2024

"You're not bad, terrible, or selfish for removing someone unhealthy from your life -- whether they are family, friend, foe or somewhere in between."

02/07/2024

don’t want to get so caught up in sharing the revelry and debauchery from the cruise and all things ‘hump day’ and fail to provide the ‘food for thought’ of which I’m so fond.

quote and see where your thoughts and feelings take you.

Take gentle care, Y’all,
Dr. Ben
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01/30/2024

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01/29/2024

😮‍💨

01/27/2024

This is it right here. This is my primary motivation and intention for how I show up in the social mediaverse.

(Admittedly, 10% of my posts lean more toward attention and another 15% is me harnessing the power of social media to work through my own ‘isms’.

Even with that, though — I am finding it helpful and beneficial to curate my thoughts, perspectives, history, and experiences from a therapeutic perspective with the hope of touching the life of another.

I hate the thought of anyone feeling alone in their experience, and if there is anything about my past or present that can help another, I’m happy to live that aloud so others can see.

Take gentle care, Y’all,
Dr. Ben
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01/05/2024

JUST RUMINATING: If you are making choices in your adult life that are unconsciously influenced by your unresolved childhood traumas and insecurities, life is gonna continue to be tough and for out of your control.

Here’s the thing, though: almost everyone who operates that way knows on some level that the life they are living is governed by their trigger.

So, what steps are necessary to begin to make a change?

Happy Friday Y’all,
Dr. Ben
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01/01/2024

2023 has come and gone.

For many, it was the greatest year of their life so far filled with triumphs, prosperity, and amazing adventures.

For others, 2023 will be remembered for the losses, the setbacks, the sadness, the people we will miss, and the things we wish we could do over again.

For still others, 2023 was a fascinating soup of the ‘good’ and the ‘not-so-good’.

Whatever your experience of 2023 was like, take note that we’ve all made it to 2024. We survived. Perhaps we have even thrived. The most important part of it all is that we are still here in 2024.

Cheers to that! Cheers to all of you. 🥂

We have seen the dawning of a new year which means we have more time to continue to ‘tell our tale’. What will you write about in this upcoming chapter of the Story of Your Life?

Happy New Year, Y’all,
Dr. Ben
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12/31/2023

I’m just gonna leave this here because I know somebody out there is wrestling with this theme in some way. There IS a path to freeing yourself of this particular burdeN. It might be tough, but it can be SO worth it…

Happy Sunday, Y’all,
Dr. Ben
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12/30/2023

Forgive yourself if you made mistakes as a result of something you did not know.

But, once you know, take responsibility for the impact of your decision on others.

It’s not the fault of your parents, your childhood, your ‘trust trauma’, etc.

Responsibility lands squarely with you because now you officially know better.

Happy Saturday, Y’all,
Dr. Ben
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12/29/2023

UNCOMFORTABLE QUESTION: When you think of the areas of your life that are ‘unsatisfying’, how much of it is your own doing?

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