03/07/2025
ANAM CARA
“The one you love, your anam cara, your soul friend, is the truest mirror to reflect your soul… Friendship is always an act of recognition.” John O’Donohue
John O’Donohue’s book titled Anam Cara, referencing the concept of anamchara, a word in Irish monasticism referring to a monk’s teacher, companion or spiritual guide, struck a chord of longing in my heart when I first read it.
Then, I was a young woman carrying into adulthood a longing for relationships with the depth, inspiration, and mutuality he articulates so beautifully.
Since then, cultivating anam caras with and among women - friendships based in mutual recognition, inspiration and collaboration has been a commitment of mine.
It is a commtiment born out of a desire to shift a common aspect of mainstream socialization that sets girls and women up to compare themselves to one another according to standards of beauty and being that so often stifle mutual recognition of our unique gifts and empowerments.
A crucial aspect of the story that Tanja, a beloved anam cara of mine, is weaving for our group of retreaters here in Goa this week is the essential role that the kaylama mitra (spiritual friendship in Sanskrit) between Hanuman and Jambhavan plays in one of Hanuman’s epic acts of service. At a critical moment of immense challenge Jambhavan appears to remind Hanuman of the empowerments he has… empowerments that were born out of his wounds and which are essential to fulfilling his purpose.
Today, as Tanja guided us through an embodiment of the epic story through postures, breath, mantras, and mudra, every cell of my being is flush with the loving empowerment of the soul friendships I have with extraordinary women within which we recognize in each other our unique gifts, intelligence, creativity, and deep soul beauty.
I feel deep gratitude for each of my beloved anam caras who, like Jambhavan, lovingly remind me at crucial and difficult moments of my gifts and empowerments. 🙏🏼😘
And, I feel so much love and appreciation for Tanja for being a divine anam cara - kaylama mitra and collaborator! I am so excited to continue to create together. 🙏🏼😘