05/05/2025
1/2
Hi there 👋🏽 Reintroducing myself here as it's been a minute. I'm Vaishi, mom to two daughters and a survivor of birth trauma and PMADs.
May is Maternal Mental Health Awareness month and you may have seen content on your feed about this already. I'm reintroducing myself because this time, I'm ready to share my story and why I'm really here.
I experienced a traumatic birth with my daughter, nearly 7 years ago. At the time, I knew I was traumatized by the event, but did not realize how much the events immediately following her birth would impact my experience of motherhood and change me forever. I reported PTSD at my ONE postpartum check-up and was basically told that time would heal the wounds and that it was highly unlikely I would experience anything like this again if I chose to have another child (at a midwifery group at a major hospital center in Washington, DC!). So, I did what I thought I was supposed to do and "moved on."
Unfortunately, this is not how trauma works and depression reared it's ugly head as we headed into the pandemic. I don't honestly know how any of us parents actually survived that time or decided to continue growing our families during this time, but we did! By the summer of 2021 I was expecting my second little one, with a little relief in having the covid vaccines and thinking the worst was behind us.
Looking back now, it seems obvious why I would be anxious during this pregnancy- the unaddresed PTSD, covid (which I got at 31 weeks gestation, despite vaccines), and the utter lack of empathy and support for women and mothers in our society. I felt like I just had to grin and bear it despite crying myself to sleep most nights through at least the second half of my pregnancy. I did, again, report my intense anxiety to my midwives, but was told to try yoga, meditation, getting outdoors and fresh air everyday, and staying hydrated (I was peeing once an hour). I was attempting a VBAC and I honestly think that I was unsuccessful because of all of these factors... my mind, body, and soul have been disconnected since my traumatic birth experience. In hindsight, I should've gone somewhere else to providers who actually listened 😐