Askable Mama

Counseling & Mental Health Services
Early Sexual Health Education, Parenting

09/11/2025

This post is not about my feelings on Charlie Kirk.

This post is about parents taking the opportunity to connect with their teens in this heavy moment.

In the past 24 hours I have heard of kids watching the graphic video of the shooting (some intentionally and others not realizing what they were about to see) then vomiting or needing to be picked up from school.

I’ve heard of kids being made fun of for having intense reactions like those mentioned above.

I’ve heard of kids feeling surprised and confused about close friends having different points of views when they’d thought they were aligned.

I’ve heard about kids feeling more afraid of gun violence and political violence than they were just a few days ago.

And as for my views on this person…Until yesterday I didn’t really know who he was and now that I’ve learned a bit about him, I’m glad that was the case. I also think that what happened was horrific. As is any type of political violence including the assassination of Melissa Hortman or January 6th.

09/08/2025

Something I say today that I didn’t say 10 years ago is that having conversations about p**nography with your tween or teen is a must!

What’s changed? For starters; Access, & availability. Even if your kid doesn’t have access to their own device or social media - they have friends that do or they have devices at school. They’ll find it and it will find them.

These conversations will sound very different for an 8, 11, and 14 year old but they can all include some reminder that p**n is not for kids! Let your child know that if they come into contact with it, they can let you know and they won’t be in trouble. And tweens and teens should know that what they are seeing is a movie - not an accurate portrayal of s*x.

(And btw, especially with younger kids, you don’t necessarily need to use the language of p**n but you can still tell them “…there are all sorts of wild things you can come across online. That could including things that seem scary or silly or funny - like pictures of naked people” for example)

For more assistance or support around these conversations follow me here or DM me your questions.

07/18/2025

This story introduces so many great conversation starters …

Is canoodling with a coworker, who is not your wife, in a public place with likely 60,000+ people a place you should expect to have a private moment?

Is it fair to jump to conclusions about this person and his role as a partner? (I’d actually argue his personal life is none of our business and we have no idea what his commitments and agreements are in the bounds of his marriage but still think it makes for interesting discussion)

When an apology acknowledges taking accountability while also acknowledging what happened wasn’t fair, does it make the apology less sincere?!

Okay, perhaps I’m being a little tongue in cheek in my tone here, but these are interesting points of discussion with your older kids …and your friends and partners.

06/06/2025

The start of summer is a great time to have body safety conversations with kids.

Whether your child will be at day camp, sleep away camp, in a new childcare arrangement or just a shift in schedule it provides a natural opportunity to acknowledge a shift, review what they know, and give them any additional new and necessary information.

Have more specific questions about how to have these conversations? Reach out!

05/21/2025

Lots of parents are rethinking if and when they get their kids cell phones. This article from offers a window into many of the options now available.

This said, one thing I rarely hear parents discussing is what they mean why they refer to the “cellphone”. Many parents who have made the decision to Wait ‘Till 8th have still allowed their kids to use iPads. This is often without supervision, allows for access to the internet and apps, allows texting, and sharing of videos and photos.

I suggest parents ask themselves what they are trying to limit, protect kids from, or avoid, as well as what benefits they’re hoping to gain from a device, in an effort to decide what’s right for their child and family.

https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2025/05/alternative-device-fair/682837/

05/12/2025

Two of my clinicians now have additional virtual openings for individual therapy clients - morning and evening options are available.

If you, or someone you know, could benefit from some extra support right now (and who couldn’t!) check out their bios on our website:

www.mlktherapy.com

05/09/2025

Your kids have great questions and YOU are the most qualified person to answer! But sometimes it can feel jarring or throw you off when your kid asks a question you really weren’t expecting.

I’m here to help. Post here, DM me, or send an email with a recent question you received from your child and I’ll post some ideas on how to address it.

04/06/2025

More disappointing news...

https://www.statnews.com/2025/04/05/cdc-sexually-transmitted-diseases-laboratory-closed-by-trump-administration/

What do we think will happen when there is less access to s*xual health education, less medical research, and limited treatment options?

🙄🤔

04/03/2025

So excited for, and proud of, my colleague and friend Dr. Samantha Sweeney. Her second book Culturally Competent Kids is a relevant and necessary resource for parents raising kids in today’s world.

Order yours today at your local independent book store, through the publisher , or that other online book retailer.

For fun - here is a photo of Samantha and I toasting to the release of our first book, Working with Worry, on a cold Covid night several years ago. Looking forward to celebrating the new book a tad differently.

03/24/2025

Have you ever thought about how media shape our kid’s views on relationships and intimacy?

From a young age, kids are exposed to messages about attraction, boundaries, and sexuality—often before they’re ready to fully understand them. That’s why having age-appropriate conversations early on is so important and why watching shows and movies can be great conversation starters!

By being an askable parent, you create a safe space where your child knows they can come to you with questions—without shame or judgment. This helps them develop critical thinking about what they see and hear, shaping their understanding in a healthy way.

It’s not about one big talk but many small conversations over time. Start with simple discussions about media, relationships, and respect, so they know you’re someone they can trust when bigger questions come up.

What shows or movies have provided conversation starters for you and your kids?

03/20/2025

Are you dreading the day you have to talk to your child about p**nography?

It is pretty inevitable that someday your child will see p**n. Whether or not that first interaction, or any interactions after that, are intentional, it does require conversation.

My number one rule of thumb for language around talking to kids about p\*rn is making sure you let them know it is NOT an accurate portrayal of s\*x!

Conversations around this topic will probably take place in a variety of ways over several years. Here are some vocabulary words that may help when the time comes and many of them are words you and your kids can get an understanding of now.

What would you add to this list?

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