05/09/2026
I want to know if anyone here processes the world the same way I do.
This is going to be quite a long post since I will be talking about my experiences about my way of life and my way of processing new information and concepts. I am in the US, 23M.
I was always quite different, said my teacher from the first grade, and in her opinion not in a good way. Other kids noticed that I was different too, so I kept to myself most of the time. At a very young age, I was processing information a lot differently as opposed to others. I didn't quite "get it", especially when we were learning about basic world concepts.
For my first two grades, I didn't have a hard time in school since things were mostly easy. That changed in the third grade when grades started. When my mother was talking to my then teacher about me and how I am doing in school, she said something that my mother had been thinking about a long time but just couldn't put it into words. She said that my brains worked differently than of all other students. I wasn't really quick at understanding concepts like the other students, but when I finally after a long time understood it, I understood it better than anyone else.
Moving on, as you might imagine, I had quite a lot of trouble during my school years. I wasn't able to hold on to new knowledge easily and spent a lot of my days studying in my room, just trying to understand what was taught in the class. The school system wasn't designed for me and my way of thinking and there were too many exams. Don't worry, my grades were good and nobody said that I was having trouble in school, but I was working more than all the others.
That lasted for about ten years until I got out of school. Every day after school, I would come home and study everything that others already understood. Whenever the teacher asked something during the class, I never knew what to answer. And that wasn't just in school ,but also in other activities. I was slow to pick up the rules of a sport or a card game, or in any case, any social activity game.
I got called re****ed and stupid many times and some teachers even said that I might have a learning or personal desiability. I just couldn't grasp concepts as quickly as others could. In higher grades, when I had to study more, I was struggling a lot since I had to learn everything about what we talked in class and than other subjects which were going to be on the test.
And here is the thing I noticed by remembering what that teacher said all those years ago. I am slow to pick up things, but once I understand them, I do them and excell at them better than anyone else.
I was just sitting in my room, thinking about all of this. And here is what I noticed. Let's say that the subject in the math class was multiplication (I also needed a long time to understand that). Everyone of course picks up on it easily, except me. So, as usual, I get home and start studying. I don't even look at the title, I instantly look for small details. Let's say specific numbers or the multiplication sign, but never understanding what am I am even learning, just picking up those small little precious details. And weeks pass, everyone knows how to multiply, except me, I only know those details, which I learn every day. And one day, my brain starts something. I don't have control when it happens or why. It starts connecting those details, one by one, they all fall into their rightful place inside my brain. And after that, finally, the whole picture starts to make sense. I understand. And the wave of excitement I feel at that moment is immeasurable, I cherisch the moment. And suddenly, I can multiply better than the whole class. I can do hard exercises better than anyone else.
And this is what that teacher meant. I don't initally see the whole picture, I just look at the details of the subject. After a thousand of these details start connecting, I get the whole picture and that is why I understand it is well. Details + whole picture, while others first understand the whole picture and than the details.
I wish that I could say this is a good thing. And it may be a good thing, but I just haven't noticed it yet.
My first 20 years of my life were really hard because of this. I was a lot different. I didn't know anybody else who saw the world the same way as me. I was isolated most of the time in the books. I think because of the fact that I sometimes understood concepts better than anyone else, other kids got jealous of me. I was bullied for almost ten years. I wish I had a group with like-minded individualy.
I am thankfully out of school now, but things are not that much better. While you are reading this, you might ask yourself, how I am even functioning in the world? Answer? Not great, because it isn't built for me, it is built for the majority, which is a good thing. I have had 30 driving lessons with my isntructor and he has said that I am one of the worst candidates he has ever had and make mistakes that he has seen nobody ever do before. Because I am only picking up the detail
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