Crystal Lotus Counseling

06/22/2025

🌊 Urge Surfing: Riding the Wave of Addiction Recovery

Addiction recovery isn’t about eliminating urges; it’s about learning to ride them out. This technique, called urge surfing, empowers you to acknowledge cravings without acting on them.

Here’s how it works:
1️⃣ Acknowledge the Urge: Notice the craving without judgment.
2️⃣ Observe Your Thoughts and Feelings: Allow them to be there without trying to suppress or change them.
3️⃣ Remind Yourself:
• Urges are natural reactions to habits.
• Some discomfort is okay—I don’t have to change it.
• An urge is just a feeling, not a command.
• Like a wave, it will rise and fall.

💡 Need additional support? Community & Family Resources offers local resources and assistance for those impacted by addiction. Learn more about their programs and find support in your journey - www.cfrhelps.org

06/22/2025

06/22/2025

🤎

06/22/2025

When kids act out, push back, or fall apart, it’s not defiance. It’s a signal.
A signal that something feels too big, too hard, or too overwhelming.

Instead of jumping straight to consequences, try this:
💬 “That was a big reaction — are you okay?”
💬 “Looks like something’s feeling tricky right now.”

This doesn’t mean we excuse the behaviour.
It means we meet the need behind it — and guide them from there.
Because connection is what builds cooperation. 💛

📘 Find more tools like this in my book Guidance from The Therapist Parent — available at www.thetherapistparent.com or via the link in bio.

06/15/2025

Soft. But not small. 💗

06/15/2025

When the topic is heated, there’s a lot of value in slowing down, giving it some space, and coming together to talk about it intentionally. It’s not always easy to wait, and nobody should wait indefinitely, but rushing it can backfire.
Also, approaching your partner in this way, with openness and curiosity, helps meet their attachment need to know their needs matter to you....and when attachment needs are met, conversations are set up for success.

06/15/2025

06/15/2025

Walking helps us process emotions. Our eyes move naturally in bilateral motions as we walk— going from right to left. This turns on the logical and emotional parts of our brain and helps us make sense of what we feel.

So many people say “feel your feelings.” And it’s true we do need to feel them. But think a better way to say this is: “walk your feelings.” When we’re sitting still, parts of our brains are inactive. Our amygdala (threat center) can go haywire. Walking turns down the amygdala’s volume.

If you’re having a difficult conversation, walk with that person as you talk. This is especially important for people with complex trauma. You’ll both be more regulated and logical. You’ll have more access to the natural compassion that always lives within you.

Walk and then notice how much calmer and at peace you feel. Your body knows what to do. If you can, listen to the birds or the wind in the trees. For thousands of years these sounds grounded your ancestors— they’ll ground you too

06/15/2025

My book: https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0593582276/

06/15/2025

You can set limits.
You can follow through.
But not in the middle of chaos.

When your child is losing it, they’re not in a place to learn.
When you are losing it, you’re not in a place to teach.

Discipline isn’t effective when it’s reactive…
Pause first. Then parent.

Because once the dust settles, you’ll often realise: they didn’t need as much correcting, as much talking, as much discipline — as you thought in the heat of the moment.

And, neither did you. ❤️

Quote Credit: .for.wellbeing ❣️

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