07/15/2024
What do you see?
We, as humans, often use descriptive words. White, female, smiling, appears thin from what we can see, appears Christian because she's holding a Bible and looks happy. We could certainly make assumptions on this woman based on those descriptive words, but it's a high probability that we wouldn't get them all correct.
What don't we see?
Ah, that is a much bigger question and a much more complicated answer.
You can't see most traumas, either physical or psychological. You can't see education, health status, or if they have a mental health diagnosis. We can't tell where she lives, how many friends she has, if she has kids, how much money is in her bank account. She is holding a Bible but is she a new Christian, life-long believer, or someone making a joke about it?
Looks are deceiving.
It's been on my mind so much lately that we cannot look at someone and see the whole picture.
For example (that matches with what this account is about) If someone posts a before and after photo collage reflecting their intentional weight loss, we automatically think "before is bad and after is good!" But can we see the entire picture? Are they starving themselves or abusing certain weight loss methods like laxatives? I reflect back on how I undoubtably was and was very, very sick, but everyone looked at me and congratulated me on "work well done!" It fueled me to keep going because it was obvious that my friends and family approved, and their praise and adoration must mean that they love me more now. I was terrified to disappoint anyone with how I looked.
Friends, you are not on this earth to be looked at. Your purpose is not to make your body the physically smallest reflection in the mirror or anyone else's eyes.
I urge you, when you look at someone, concentrate on what is UNSEEN. What might be hiding behind that smile? What else could be going on when someone's body dramatically changes?
Let's stop using descriptive words about what we can see to give significance to a person and fix our eyes on what is unseen. That is where connection and love truly happens.