Rose-Colored Doula

03/07/2023

“I Won’t Hold Your Baby

…unless you ask me to, in which case, I will snuggle and cuddle your baby as much as you want me to.

I never ask my clients if I can hold their baby. In fact, I rarely ever touch my client’s baby if I can help it. Sounds sort of like the opposite of what you might picture of a doula, right? We must all be birth crazy, baby obsessed women who just want to cover babies in kisses and love and get an emotional high from attending births?

Not this doula.

I LOVE attending births. Call me crazy, but getting those middle of the night calls is one of my favorite parts of this job. I get to listen to someone at their most vulnerable times - the excitement, the hesitation, the nervousness of the unknown. Being able to provide some comfort, reassurance and continuity of care to the people I work with is so important to me (and them!)

Rushing off in the night, quietly getting myself ready, getting in the car and heading off to their home or hospital makes me feel like I’m on a secret birth mission that nobody around me knows about. When I arrive I fall as seamlessly as I can into the rhythm of the birth and start supporting my clients in whatever way they need most.

When the baby arrives I step aside and leave room for the new parents to discover their baby. I try and grab some photos (I’m not a birth photographer though, so keep your expectations in check!) and then I only step in if my client needs me for some reason.

Why does that matter? Why won’t I ask to hold your baby? Simply because: they are yours, not mine. I want you to be able to hold your baby as close as you want, for as long as you want without anyone interrupting that time. There will be enough people coming along in the next few hours and weeks who need to take that baby out of your arms for whatever reason, and tons of friends and family who will offer help by “holding the baby”.

Instead, I want to hold you, whether that’s in my arms, in my heart or my thoughts. By supporting and “holding” you, I don’t need to hold your baby. But if you ask me to, I would LOVE to.”

Written by

02/24/2023

Just a little gift for a special postpartum client. ❤️

What does a postpartum visit include?
-We’ll go over any baby care questions you have as well as…
-Any care tips that you need for yourself during your recovery from birth.
-We’ll discuss baby feeding and any referrals you might need if you chose to breastfeed.
-We’ll discuss any questions you had about your birthing experience.
-If needed, I will hold your baby while you nap or…
-Complete looming household chores for you.

The postpartum visit is all about helping you adjust to having a newborn in your home! The ball is in your court for this visit and your specific needs are addressed to help make this transition into parenthood as smooth as possible.

02/22/2023

Hi! I’m Mary, the Rose-Colored Doula. I strive to help my clients see birth and child-rearing through a positive lens. In a world where most people fear birth, I like to help my clients see it positively and minimize negative interactions during their birth experience.

I’m a mother of three and twice certified doula through and . I’ve had three different birth experiences myself, including use of the epidural as well as entirely unmedicated childbirth. My ideal birth to attend is a birth where the mother gets exactly what she is looking for, whether that’s an elective cesarean delivery, use of the epidural, or medication-free in their own home.

Currently serving families in Northern New York.

12/31/2022

And no, I'm not proud of it.

I didn't WANT to flush but no one prepared me for what a miscarriage at 7 weeks would look like. Because I didn't know what it would look like, I felt blindsided by the feeling of my pregnancy leaving my body.

No one talks about this stuff therefore it's morbid, horrible, gruesome, uncomfortable.

No one talks about how many miscarriages happen on the toilet because the feeling of pressure is so harsh and confusing that we instinctively run to the bathroom.

One aspect of coping with both of my miscarriages was processing WHERE my babies were. The first baby was flushed at home while my second baby was flushed at the hospital emergency room.

I was traumatized by both births and continue to struggle with the trauma responses that have developed within my mind.

But... I flushed.

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I had a post where I discussed "flushing" earlier this year and it was the most interacted with post that I had. It was validating for me but I know that many of you felt less alone because you saw how many people also flushed the toilet. Of course there are people who do not understand and judge this act but until someone is in your shoes, they cannot possibly understand the difficult decisions that you have to make. Never, ever, ever feel ashamed of flushing the toilet. What happened to you was scary, horrible, traumatic, and we did what felt was best in the moment.

I see you.

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12/06/2022

11/08/2022

What can I offer you as an SBD doula?

Here is a list of just a few services that are specific to my training through stillbirthday.com.

10/05/2022

09/02/2022

Something absolutely beautiful that the sweet soul at Unbridled Mama Doula Services did ❤️

04/19/2022

Stunning birth photography

Useful Information for Hobby and Professional Photographers.

04/17/2022

04/02/2022

Watertown area mothers! Are you thinking about what you want to do with your placenta after birth? Athena is local and can help you prepare it ❤️👶🏼

03/30/2022

🌠ᎢᎻᎬ ᏩᎾᏞᎠᎬN ᎻᎾᏌᎡ🌠

When you are able to hold off the fuss over mom and baby as much as possible and keep the two together within the first hour after birth nature is allowed to take its course.

"The Golden Hour"is a crucial time for mama and baby.

In each of their precious bodies, massive shifts are taking place as they adjust to life's new transition. Two separate creatures within learning to be one without. An every day miracle.

💁🏽What do you see happening?
I see:

🌸1st latch: establishing bond of trust, familiarity and nourishment. Surges of oxytocin constracting mom's uterus. Protecting against hemorrhage.

🌸Vernix Caseosa: the white sticky substance lubricating that new skin (Don't wash it momma, RUB IT IN)

🌸Gentle colonization of microorganisms which help baby adjust to the outside environment.

🌸Body temperature regulation, which babies in the beginning can have a hard time doing.

🌸 Trust developing, as the two new beings birthed through this process get to know eachother.

So much more takes place when you are able to allow yourself this special time.

📸:

Register for upcoming birth education workshop here!

www.thebirthimpact.com/workshops

01/27/2022

“You don’t need to push your baby out 😮

SAY WHAAAT?! 🤯

In a uncomplicated, physiological and unmediated birth, when it comes time for your baby to descend down the birth canal your body will start to involuntarily push your baby out using a reflex called the Fetal Ejection Reflex.

The best way I’ve heard it described is “It’s like the feeling that you get in your tummy when you are throwing up except it’s pushing down instead of up.”

Often when a Mama experiences the FER she has an urge to actively push with it. That’s great! If your body is telling you to do it, go for it! But when we push before we feel the FER we may be pushing before our body and our baby is ready.

Benefits to waiting as long as you can before actively pushing include:

🐞 more blood and hormones to the perineum and va**na which means..
🐞 skin and tissue in the area is more elastic which means...
🐞 less chance of tearing and
🐞shorter pushing time on average.

Did you experience the FER and push as you felt the urge or did you push when your care provider told you to?”

12/15/2021

Imagine how intense hunger must feel when you’ve only ever known complete satisfaction...

Imagine how lonely a crib must feel when you have only ever experienced the cramped tight embrace of your Mama’s womb...

Imagine how deafening silence must be when you have never not heard the beating of your Mama’s heart...

Let’s all have grace and patience for the babies as they adapt to life in the big wide world. These first few months should not be a race to be separated as soon as possible. This season too shall pass 🌿

10/28/2021

Come see me and other area doulas in Watertown on December 11th! Bring all your birth questions!

08/23/2021

Those local to Fort Drum: Laboring women are currently allowed 2 support persons at Samaritan Medical Center. This means it is still possible for you to have a doula attend your birth if you plan to deliver here!

Updated August 20, 2021 In an effort to protect our patients, families, visitors, and staff against the spread of infection and in the accordance with New York State Department of Health (NYSDOH) guidance, Samaritan Medical Center has implemented the following visitation and support person policy ef...

08/02/2021

Have you tried this? 🍼

Milk blebs/blisters and blocked ducts can be stubborn to shift sometimes. A trick that is being used sometimes is some hot water in a silicone one piece pump which you then suction on to the b**b. A bit of warm steam at the same time as some gentle suction can work really well.
Have you tried this?