Jennifer Starkey MA LMFT

02/08/2022

The time is now! Let’s do this! 💕

05/02/2020

ED is a stealer if joy. ED can turn a positive moment with friends or family and turn it into regret and guilt or even shame. ED is a thief and is not your friend, no matter what ED may have done for you or provided for you in the past.

ED makes promises. ED promises “health,” “security,” “peace,” “happiness,” and “relief,” amongst other things. And to be fair, ED might deliver on some of those promises IN THE MOMENT. In the moment, ED might in fact provide relief, security, peace. In that moment, ED might feel like your friend.

But what kind of friend punishes you for nourishing your body or enjoying a cupcake or taking it easy and listening to your body? What kind of friend tells you what you can eat, who and what to avoid, pushes you to exercise through injury or illness, and tells you that your worth is based on a number? That’s not friendship, that’s abuse.

It’s hard. I know it’s hard. I know it may take every ounce of energy you have to resist ED’s voice.

But YOU ARE WORTH IT. Recovery is worth it. You CAN get through this.

Love yourself. Enjoy your food. You don’t have to earn it or pay for it. I promise!

DO NOT LET ED ROB YOU OF YOUR MOMENTS.




’tletEDwin

❤️

04/30/2020

This post was inspired by my real life experience a few days ago!! 👖

I am an eating disorder therapist AND someone who has recovered from my own eating disorder, so I can get pretty militant in my rants against diet culture. 🤷‍♀️ I “preach” and wholeheartedly believe in resisting those negative messages and embracing body acceptance. I know my worth is NOT determined by a number.

And yet, as a woman, I’m not bulletproof or immune to the toxic messages about body image and weight and what our culture pushes upon us as far as what we “should” look like or weigh or do in response to our weight. So when my clothes start fitting differently, and they are, I have to take that minute to breathe and NOT get sucked into a negative, body shaming narrative.

When our bodies change it can be disconcerting precisely because we have internalized and bought into that lie that says weight gain is bad. Very, very bad.

I want to be real here. I want to be authentic. I want my clients to understand that even an eating disorder therapist who wholeheartedly believes in health at every size (HAES) and body acceptance has to hit the pause button at times in order to NOT fall into toxic thinking when my jeans no longer fit! 😜

I had to stop myself and actively redirect my thoughts. I chose to accept my changing body without excuse or panic and without deciding I needed to “do something” about it. I don’t. I am where I am. It’s ok. It’s just a body and it doesn’t define who I am.

For those of you struggling with eating disordered thoughts or behaviors, with poor body image, with overwhelming emotions, with watching your body change (if it is, for whatever reason), please focus on self acceptance. Be gentle with yourself. Reach out for support. (Hit me up!) Instead of falling victim (yes, I said victim) to the diet industry and the diet culture that dictates how we should feel about ourselves or how we should respond to (gasp🙀) weight gain, try compassion. Compassion for yourself. Compassion for your body.

Know your worth. Claim your worth (and it’s not the size of your jeans)!

You’ve got this!! ❤️❤️❤️

04/30/2020

This post was inspired by my real life experience a few days ago!! 👖

I am an eating disorder therapist AND someone who has recovered from my own eating disorder, so I can get pretty militant in my rants against diet culture. 🤷‍♀️ I “preach” and wholeheartedly believe in resisting those negative messages and embracing body acceptance. I know my worth is NOT determined by a number.

And yet, as a woman, I’m not bulletproof or immune to the toxic messages about body image and weight and what our culture pushes upon us as far as what we “should” look like or weigh or do in response to our weight. So when my clothes start fitting differently, and they are, I have to take that minute to breathe and NOT get sucked into a negative, body shaming narrative.

When our bodies change it can be disconcerting precisely because we have internalized and bought into that lie that says weight gain is bad. Very, very bad.

I want to be real here. I want to be authentic. I want my clients to understand that even an eating disorder therapist who wholeheartedly believes in health at every size (HAES) and body acceptance has to hit the pause button at times in order to NOT fall into toxic thinking when my jeans no longer fit! 😜

I had to stop myself and actively redirect my thoughts. I chose to accept my changing body without excuse or panic and without deciding I needed to “do something” about it. I don’t. I am where I am. It’s ok. It’s just a body and it doesn’t define who I am.

For those of you struggling with eating disordered thoughts or behaviors, with poor body image, with overwhelming emotions, with watching your body change (if it is, for whatever reason), please focus on self acceptance. Be gentle with yourself. Reach out for support. (Hit me up!)

Instead of falling victim (yes, I said victim) to the diet industry and the diet culture that dictates how we should feel about ourselves or how we should respond to (gasp🙀) weight gain, try compassion. Compassion for yourself. Compassion for your body.

Know your worth. Claim your worth (and it’s not the size of your jeans)!

You’ve got this!! ❤️❤️❤️

04/14/2020

04/14/2020

What does it mean to have a “bad body image day”? Is it realistic to love our bodies every. single. day. ? For some, independent of body type, perhaps it is. For others, it is a struggle.

Body image in recovery is a challenge. It is usually the last piece to come together in the recovery process. So when I hear people struggle with their changing bodies, it is not necessarily helpful for me to preach “love your body just as it is,” as much as I might wish they would.

Perhaps it’s more realistic for us to say, yes, there ARE going to be days you feel unhappy with your body in recovery. Maybe there will be a lot of those days, and that’s ok for now. Be where you are in that moment.

However, it’s on those days when I also hear people saying those other things as well. “I hate my body. I’m so gross. I’m disgusting.” 💔 In those moments, their very essence, their self worth, is tied to how they feel about their body right then and there.

Is that fair?? No!

Maybe on those days, if you can’t accept your body in that moment, at least accept yourSELF. Make the distinction.

We have lofty goals in recovery about loving ourselves and our bodies just as they are, and that’s great! And if you aren’t there yet, maybe it’s ok to just say, “I’m having a bad body image day, I’m not loving my body right now. But I DO still love myself. I DO still know I am worthy and I AM enough.” ❤️

04/10/2020

Facing those emotions is scary and our instinct is to avoid. Recovery requires strength and courage. Going to therapy takes strength and courage. Working a program takes strength and courage. Looking at ourselves and digging deep takes strength and courage. AND it’s worth it. True healing is worth it. YOU are worth it.