Family Recovery Partners

Family Recovery Partners Addiction recovery is a family affair. Learn how to get your life and sanity back, and be your loved one's best chance for successful recovery. It doesn't work.

Recovery from addiction is a family affair. When one person struggles, the whole family struggles. But you can regain your sanity and your life, and be your loved one's best chance at a successful recovery. There is a beautiful book, Recovery - The 12 Steps as a Spiritual Practice, by Rami Shapiro. At first I wondered, why should I read this? I'm not the one who used drugs or abused alcohol. Then I read the first chapter, where he suggests that every person is addicted - we are all addicted to control. That I could understand. If someone you care about has a history of addiction, odds are you have tried to control him/her, their actions, and the outcomes of their actions. I learned that what works is to focus on myself, my thoughts, actions and values; to face reality, stay focused and take action on the task at hand; to create boundaries; and above all, to love. I hope you will find inspiration and support on this page, and that you will share your own wisdom and experiences. We are all in this together. Thank you for being here.

If you like “How it’s made” you’ll appreciate this.
12/05/2025

If you like “How it’s made” you’ll appreciate this.

09/28/2022
"Innocent questions are rarely innocent."  Have you asked one and your teen took it the wrong way? Were they defensive, ...
06/14/2021

"Innocent questions are rarely innocent." Have you asked one and your teen took it the wrong way? Were they defensive, angry, and then on the offensive? Were you on the receiving end of one and felt attacked?

The problem is that most of the time you have an ulterior motive, like fishing for information or easing your worry. Read my article on Kuel Life for a better approach.

Innocent questions are rarely innocent. They come with hopes, expectations and good intentions. Stop Asking ‘Innocent Questions’.

You want so much to believe that the unthinkable isn’t true, right?When a loved one says, - “I’m holding this for someon...
06/06/2021

You want so much to believe that the unthinkable isn’t true, right?
When a loved one says,
- “I’m holding this for someone.”
- “I don’t have a problem. YOU have a problem.”
- “I’m not using. Why don’t you believe me?”

It’s just too painful to face their substance use, so we may go into denial. To survive. To have some hope. Deep down, though, we know we’re probably fooling ourselves.

This is one of the ways family members struggle and stay stuck.
Join me on Clubhouse (an audio-only platform) on Tuesday, 8 June, 8:00pm ET. We gather to share our experiences, strength and hope with others who truly understand. This is a welcoming and judgment-free room.

DM me for an invitation to join Clubhouse.

It is possible to live a peaceful 🕊satisfying life, regardless of whether your loved one is using or struggling with rec...
06/01/2021

It is possible to live a peaceful 🕊satisfying life, regardless of whether your loved one is using or struggling with recovery. Being with others who understand and share their learning helps. Join us and learn to enjoy life ☺️again, one day at a time. 🌿🍃

*Clubhouse is open to iPhone and Android users. If you’d like an invitation to join CH and come to our room, DM me your cell number. Invites are sent via text.

TONIGHT AT 7:30pm ET on ClubhouseIs someone you love struggling with substance abuse? It affects the whole family. Safe ...
05/25/2021

TONIGHT AT 7:30pm ET on Clubhouse
Is someone you love struggling with substance abuse? It affects the whole family. Safe space to share experience, strength and hope and be supported. You are not alone!!

Addiction is a family disease. Everybody is affected, maybe scarred. Relationships crumble, health deteriorates, joy is hard to find.

Our stories may be different, but the emotions and impact on our lives are similar. Join me on Clubhouse in the Family Recovery Room. (Clubhouse is now open to Android users. Please DM me about an invitation.)

Your thoughts?  From everything I've lived and seen, it's true. We talk to each other, but what are we saying? Are we ge...
03/11/2021

Your thoughts? From everything I've lived and seen, it's true. We talk to each other, but what are we saying? Are we getting through? Are we connecting? Are we trying to control?

When I have an agenda and stop seeing the person in front of me as a person, and see them as a problem to be solved), that's when I get into trouble.

Most of us weren't taught how to do this. Our parents were too busy making sure there was food on the table, kids washed and dressed and doing their homework. There wasn't time for what they would have considered the 'touchy-feely' stuff.

I believe most of know there's a better way. Let's work on it together. How can I help? DM with questions.

Do you say 'yes' when you mean 'no'? I've done it 100+ times: because I'm too tired, busy, or distracted to deal with yo...
12/21/2020

Do you say 'yes' when you mean 'no'? I've done it 100+ times: because I'm too tired, busy, or distracted to deal with you, and don't want to fight.

And I'm out of integrity if I do that. Not only do I resent you, I'm angry at myself for breaking my own rules and boundaries. The state of mind is more harmful to me than giving in.

It's happened in many aspects of my life. Nowhere do I regret it more than with my children. What did I teach them about relationships and life by saying 'yes' when I meant 'no'? What are you teaching *your* children?

They learn that if they can outlast you, they get what they want; that their own needs are more important than yours or anyone else's; that taking and self-gratification are the goal. It's normal for them to be self-centered this way. It's not productive for them to stay this way.

What's helpful is to nurture empathy, patience and gratitude in them. This will require more patience and skills on your part. If you'd like to explore that, contact me at fern@fernweis.com. It takes a village to raise kids... and their parents.

P. S. - While we had our moments, it wasn't so bad. When I improved my attitude and skills, life and parenting got easier. My kids are kind and generous adults. I'm proud of them every day.

"We only fail when we do not try." Everything else is learning from the experience of doing. This is a critical message ...
12/19/2020

"We only fail when we do not try." Everything else is learning from the experience of doing. This is a critical message for our children, partners, co-workers, essentially everyone on the planet.
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Too many people don't make an attempt at something because they can't guarantee success. I mentioned in a previous post that 2020 has been the year of 'progress, not perfection' for me in my business. How can I know what works or doesn't if I don't try, practice and refine?
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Perfectionism and fear of failure keep us from discovering our talents and potential; from bringing creativity and innovation to the world (whether it's your family, community, country or the globe). What we call failure is when things don't turn out the way we want them to. Not a failure at all.
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*And "Call the Midwife" is one of the finest programs I have ever watched.

If you're waiting for the right conditions, the perfect product, guaranteed outcomes, you'll be waiting forever. Just do...
12/16/2020

If you're waiting for the right conditions, the perfect product, guaranteed outcomes, you'll be waiting forever. Just do it! Either it will work, or you'll learn how to do it better.

Love is a tricky thing, at least for humans.
12/16/2020

Love is a tricky thing, at least for humans.

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5 Camillo Drive
Wayne, NJ
07470

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