Varhola Counseling, PLLC

08/01/2025

Let’s Talk About..Co-Regulation

Ever wondered why your child has sudden outbursts or seems to “lose it” over small things? Their brains are still developing, and for kids, especially with ADHD brains, it can feel like emotions hit at full speed without a brake pedal.

Co-regulation is the process of borrowing your calm to help your child find theirs.
It is not:
• Yelling over their meltdown
• Forcing them to “get over it”
• Ignoring their feelings

It is:
• Staying calm and present
• Offering a safe tone, posture, or touch
• Modeling how to breathe and settle

Quick Tips to Begin Co-Regulation:
• Lower your voice instead of raising it
• Sit near rather than over your child
• Offer slow, deep breaths or a gentle hug if they accept it

When you co-regulate, you are teaching your child’s brain what calm feels like. Over time, they’ll start to internalize that skill and self-regulate more effectively.

If your child struggles with big emotions, ADHD, or frequent meltdowns, play therapy can help build these skills in a safe, supportive way!

For more ways to strengthen your child’s emotional toolkit together, contact Kelly Varhola, LPC!

www.kellyvarholacounseling.com

07/24/2025

Let’s Talk About….
Friendships and Bravery

As a therapist, I see how brave it is for kids to try again in friendships when they’ve been hurt, excluded, or betrayed in the past. And in today’s world of social media, fast-moving group dynamics, and constant comparison, it’s more complicated than ever before.

Whether it’s an older child struggling to find a lunch buddy or a teen trying to make sense of shifting friend groups..friendship can feel risky and overwhelming.

But here’s the truth:
We were created for connection.
God designed us to love, be loved, and walk in community with wisdom and grace.

It takes courage for a child to take the step to say “Hi,” to forgive, or even to walk away from a hurtful relationship with peace.

How to support your adolescent or teen in friendship:
- Talk about what makes a friend; loyalty, kindness, truth, and forgiveness.
- Normalize healthy boundaries. It’s okay to protect their heart and step back from those who continue to hurt them.
- Help them become the friend they’re hoping to find. Talk about empathy, honesty, inclusion, and how to lift others up.
- Celebrate effort, not just outcomes. That small wave or honest conversation may have taken everything they had.

Friendship is beautiful, and sometimes it’s messy, but they don’t have to navigate it alone.

07/04/2025

Wishing everyone a safe and joyful Independence Day! For those who are sensitive to loud noises or crowded spaces, here’s a quick coping tip:

Create a calm zone: Use noise-canceling headphones, play soft music, or have a favorite fidget or comfort item nearby. Taking breaks in a quiet space can help soothe overwhelmed senses.

It’s okay to celebrate in your own way.
❤️🤍💙 Stay safe, stay grounded, and enjoy the day!

06/25/2025

05/27/2025

05/24/2025

Well said!

Boundaries -This is an analogy I use with kids. It works well. 😀

“If you invite someone into your home and they start breaking things and insulting your decor, you don't have to hate them, but you wouldn't invite them into your home anymore.

Boundaries are doing the same thing except your home is your mind. Your home is your heart. Your home is your time and your life.

Uninvite the guests who don't know how to treat your home with respect.”

-Doe Zantamata

05/12/2025

Happy Mother’s Day to all the amazing mamas! 💛 May God bless you!

Official Music Video for “Mamas” by Anne Wilson & Hillary ScottListen to the full “My Jesus” album here: https://annewilson.lnk.to/MyJesusVDDownload & listen...

04/15/2025

Clients with Littles: The Schoolhouse of Weatherford is the best place ever for your 5 and unders. I cannot say enough wonderful things about them.

03/31/2025

Wait til’ the storm passes… 🌧️ 🌈

and rainbows