Rima Jaber, PLPC

01/13/2026

01/13/2026

🖋️ Rebecca Dupas

01/13/2026

01/07/2026

01/07/2026

What you tolerate becomes your standard.

Not what you want. Not what you ask for. What you accept when it doesn't show up.

Let someone miss a deadline with no consequence and that's the new timeline. Let someone talk over you in meetings and that's the new dynamic. Let yourself skip the gym "just this once" and that's the new normal.

Standards aren't set by what you say. They're set by what you let slide.

And people are always watching for what you let slide.

This works in every direction. Relationships. Work. How you treat yourself. The bar is wherever you last accepted less than you wanted.

Most people think they have a standards problem. They don't. They have an enforcement problem.

Decide what you won't tolerate. Then actually don't tolerate it.

—

I write a weekly newsletter where I unpack these ideas.

→ newsletter.scottdclary.com

12/30/2025

This poignant poem describes perfectly what it is like to live with an abuser. It is written by Ivie Reuter who gave me permission to share it.

12/30/2025

Domestic abuse doesn’t start in a relationship.
It starts in childhood.

It starts when little girls are taught to be polite instead of protected.
To stay quiet instead of speak up.
To tolerate discomfort instead of name harm.

It grows when boundaries are ignored and obedience is praised.
When pain is minimized and survival is called strength.

So later, abuse feels familiar.
Not because she wants it,
but because her nervous system was trained to endure it.

This is why healing is unlearning.
This is why speaking up feels terrifying.

And this is why breaking the cycle
is an act of courage, not rebellion.

12/29/2025

.just_me_ashley

12/29/2025

There’s strength in choosing quality over noise. Not everyone deserves access to your heart, your energy, or your life. Peace is priceless, and some women are brave enough to protect it at all costs.