Amy Walker LMFT

Amy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in couples therapy.

10/01/2025

Therapists in couples sessions often bend over backwards to keep things fair, even, and balanced between partners. But why? Probably because—let's be honest—most grad programs give therapists about as much training in couples work as a fortune cookie.

I, on the other hand, think it's crucial to lean toward one partner over the other when it's called for. Not permanently, of course—it’s not about picking a favorite. It's about being the judgement in the room, the stand-in prefrontal cortex, the one who points out when accountability is needed, or when a behavior just isn't serving the relationship—or the person stuck repeating it.

01/13/2025

I think we've all heard A LOT about boundaries over the last several years. What I don't think we're hearing enough about is what they actually are and how they work.

The way I see it (and teach my clients), boundaries are usually quiet and exist between our ears. Boundaries are different than limits and require quite a bit of practice to establish.

When we do the hard work of laying down a network of psychological boundaries, we are not only protected but also connected to the world around us in a peaceful and sustainable way, not a defensive/offensive and harsh way.

07/24/2024

There is no denying the importance of accuracy, precision, and objectivity when it relates to things like—science. But these strategies almost never work when used during disagreement with your spouse/partner.

02/27/2024

Next time you find yourself in a disagreement with your partner, pay attention to how inclined you are to assert yourself as an expert of their inner workings(thoughts, feelings, intentions, motives...).

You might even be RIGHT, but don't do it! The disagreement will likely not get resolved, and your relationship walks away injured.

12/06/2022

Asking more questions (authentic curiosity) and making fewer statements (often assumptions), is one of the simplest ways to improve the way you and your partner handle disagreement and manage conflict.

10/24/2022

I want you to imagine a weekend dedicated to one thing and one thing only—the two of you getting a real plan in place—one that works! And although weekend couples retreats aren’t the norm-yet ;), they sure are effective! And no worries, they’re not just for married couples.

Common reasons couples choose condensed therapy/retreats:

1. Busy schedules
2. Momentum
3. Focus
4. Immediacy
5. Fun & Growth

Are you or anyone you know interested in learning more? Feel free to send me a message.

10/12/2022

THE IMPORTANCE OF THE THERAPEUTIC ALLIANCE—FIT

FINDING THE right THERAPIST

So, what is right? Right is less about how GOOD your therapist is (although being skilled and properly trained is pretty darn important) and more about how well you FIT with your therapist’s style and approach. Basically, you need to like and trust this person.

If your therapist is amazing on paper but a lousy fit for you in the office, you will likely be dissatisfied with your results. To be blunt, you’d probably get better results with a mediocre therapist whom you genuinely like, respect, and trust. It matters—a lot.

10/10/2022

"We are so excited to talk about feelings! When do we get to do that, Amy?"

- No Couple Ever

It's super common for one or both partners in a couple to struggle describing their feelings. And although my therapeutic approach is heavily rooted in the analysis of behaviors, thoughts, and patterns, I'm pretty sure I'd be an ineffective couples therapist if I disregarded feelings as part of my approach.

What I commonly see in sessions at the onset of therapy with my couples when I ask about feelings:

-denying
-distracting
-deflecting
-projecting
-intellectualizing (my personal fav)

The good news? I not only expect it, I absolutely love working through it together. It doesn't mean we constantly talk about feelings in session. However, the sooner we can communicate about feelings, the sooner therapy begins to work! (IMHO)

05/02/2022

A lot of my couples ask me what I think about "love languages." So, let's discuss.

I think the concept is useful for simplifying a common source of tension for many couples. So, if a couple reads the book, applies the knowledge, and experiences sustained improvement in their relationship, then I'd say it's a WIN. It's that simple.

But what if all of the above happens and the couple experiences little or only temporary improvement? In these situations, I usually find that the simplification, which was so useful for the first couple, actually is the problem for the second couple.

The simplicity can clear things up OR simplicity can misdirect, miss the mark, and make things worse.

So, like everything else, it all depends.

04/13/2022

Is compromise always the best approach for couples when dealing with disagreement? As with EVERYTHING, there will be exceptions. But I give it a hard "NO!"

Why? Many arguments couples have are rooted in each partner's individual value system. Partners tend to strongly protect their values, and when doing so, it can look and feel a lot like an argument.

I believe it's super important for partners to not only know how to identify their own values but to also know the values of their partner.

I like to think of this in terms of the colors black, white, and grey.

25% of disagreements, Partner A need NOT compromise = Black
25% of disagreements, Partner B need NOT compromise = White
50% of disagreements, both A & B SHOULD compromise = Grey

PSA: your partner's value system should not be challenged during a disagreement (which we often unintentionally do). Instead, it needs to be UNDERSTOOD (not to be confused with AGREED with) for productive/effective conflict management.

So, how the heck are you supposed to know which issues are value system issues and which are not?

Couples therapy.

Address

333 Southern Boulevard, Suite 302
West Palm Beach, FL
33405

Telephone

+15613584423

Website

http://amywalkerlmft.com/

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