09/11/2024
Let's talk emotional and psychological challenges faced by individuals displaced from their homeland.
The invitation is to create a wider internal container to hold the impact of these experiences that come as a result of post colonialism and the new world order that keeps changing and shifting, making life harder if not impossible in more countries in the southern hemisphere.
In the Diaspora's heart lies the longing to belong syndrome.
Community and culture provide a tight knit fabric, to the point that some would rather be in physical danger with other loved ones around, than in absolute safety in isolation. It is to this point that our attachment system is crucial to understand and embody at a deep level.
Thus the longing to belong becomes like a snake around the mountain of your life. What are you willing to sacrifice or chop off to "feel safe/ belong/ good enough" - How can you get to the point where you believe that you do have it all, and you do deserve it all, and yes you can believe the blessings that you have, and STOP acting out in survival behaviours coming from fear and scarcity survival mindset?
A syndrome I see in children of attachment trauma and diaspora, is not believing the good they already have. They are embodying their attachment and displacement wound, and are blinded to the goodness around.
Longing to belong to an outside place or person, is a futile endeavor created by our survival brain that wants to save energy, and would rather a familiar hell to an unfamiliar better improved Reality.
The more complex your reality was as a child, the more entrenched, complex and smart your survival system is to convince you to recreate your old reality, even though you know you want better and you are not in danger.
Your roots, and the way you see your reality, are inside of you, and more specifically inside your physical body, your nervous system, and your vagus nerve.
Your vagus nerve is like a tree, the roots of the tree are around your belly and digestion, then it goes all the way up through you into your neck brain ears ext. It also reaches all your cells.
Your goal becomes to understand yourself and how your own vagus nerve works under all circumstances. It is so easy to blame the pain, hurt and discomfort on the outside real world. While it is really an invitation to look inside to your higher power inside of you. Which becomes an invitation for you to stretch and move and become more like water.
The water inside of us and on this planet is the same since creation. It just kept changing from one form to another.
It finds itself repeatedly with love.
How can you do this to yourself?
- When in discomfort, instead of reaching for comfort from others- acknowledge your own pain, put your hand on your heart and say-> I am here with you-> This way you are drawing on your higher self to give your wounded triggered parts compassion.
- Offer yourself curiosity, go deep inside your human experience. Seek your own gaze into your own soul's journey.
- When you get a strong reaction, give this reaction your own tenderness. If an interaction with someone leaves you shaking or lonely, embody the part of you that is having this pain and give yourself the greatest gift of all, your own tenderness. Your attention, curiosity and compassion. These are the steps that create what is called the sacred pause. Paying attention to your internal world, the trauma that is getting re triggered before reacting to the outside world.
Does belonging become a constant shifting illusion or a worthwhile journey?
It is a reality held by the internal eye of your human experience?
Learning authentic relating is going to be an important tool for you because you will learn to relate to others in such a way that you understand yourself more and you create more flow and ease in your life and that of those you interact with.
The impact of trauma on the sense of community and belonging, particularly in the context of war and displacement, creates a unique depth of the human experience that ought to be honoured .
