Sousan Amiri, Therapy

07/16/2025

The “4 predictions of divorce” are famously known as the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse in relationships, a concept developed by psychologist Dr. John Gottman. Based on decades of research, he found that these four behaviors are strong predictors of relationship breakdown and divorce if they become patterns:

1. Criticism
• What it is: Attacking your partner’s character or personality rather than focusing on a specific behavior.
• Example: “You never think about anyone but yourself. You’re so selfish.”
• Healthier alternative: Use a gentle startup—express a complaint without blame.
Example: “I felt hurt when you didn’t call. I wish we could check in more during the day.”

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2. Contempt (the most dangerous)
• What it is: Showing disrespect, mockery, sarcasm, name-calling, eye-rolling—communicating that you see your partner as beneath you.
• Example: “Oh please, like you’d understand. You’re pathetic.”
• Healthier alternative: Build fondness and admiration, and practice gratitude and appreciation regularly.

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3. Defensiveness
• What it is: Playing the victim, making excuses, or shifting blame instead of taking responsibility.
• Example: “It’s not my fault. You never told me you needed help!”
• Healthier alternative: Practice responsibility and listen openly.
Example: “You’re right, I missed that. I’ll do better next time.”

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4. Stonewalling
• What it is: Shutting down, withdrawing, or refusing to engage—often as a response to feeling overwhelmed.
• Example: Giving the silent treatment or walking away mid-conversation.
• Healthier alternative: Take a break to self-soothe and return when calm, then re-engage constructively.

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If these behaviors are present and go unaddressed, they erode trust and connection. The good news? They can be replaced with positive communication skills, emotional attunement, and repair strategies.

07/11/2025

Social anxiety—also known as social anxiety disorder (SAD)—is more than just shyness or occasional nervousness. It’s a persistent fear of being judged, embarrassed, or negatively evaluated in social or performance situations. .

Common Symptoms:
• Intense fear in social settings or while speaking in front of others
• Avoiding social interactions (even with familiar people)
• Physical symptoms: blushing, sweating, trembling, rapid heartbeat
• Difficulty making eye contact or speaking
• Overanalyzing conversations after they happen
• Worrying for days or weeks before an event

Causes:
• Genetics (family history of anxiety)
• Brain chemistry (imbalance of neurotransmitters like serotonin)
• Past social trauma or bullying
• Learned behavior (observing others with social fears)

Ways to Cope and Heal:
1. Therapy – especially Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which helps challenge and reframe anxious thoughts.
2. Exposure – Gradually facing feared situations can reduce sensitivity over time.
3. Mindfulness & Breathing Techniques – These can help calm physical symptoms and ground you in the moment.
4. Medication – Some people benefit from SSRIs or anti-anxiety medications (consult a healthcare provider).
5. Support Groups – Being around others who understand can reduce shame and build confidence.
6. Journaling & Self-Compassion – Helps identify patterns and reduce self-criticism.

06/23/2025

05/25/2025

If you interpret your major recurring memories like a dream, what would they signify about you? ❤️❤️

05/18/2025

Avoiding fights in a marriage requires patience, communication, and mutual respect. Here are some key strategies to help maintain harmony:

1. Improve Communication
Listen actively: Pay attention without interrupting. Validate your partner’s feelings.

2. Pick Your Battles
- Not every disagreement needs to turn into an argument. Ask yourself: Is this worth fighting over?
- Focus on resolving major issues rather than nitpicking small annoyances.

3. Avoid Triggers
- Know your partner’s sensitive topics and approach them with care.
- Don’t bring up past conflicts during current disagreements.

4. Practice Empathy
- Try to see things from your partner’s perspective.
- Acknowledge their feelings even if you disagree.

5. Set Boundaries & Respect Differences
- Accept that you won’t always agree—differences are normal.
- Establish healthy boundaries (e.g., no name-calling, no yelling).

6. Compromise & Find Solutions Together
- Instead of trying to “win,” work toward a solution that satisfies both.
- Sometimes, agreeing to disagree is okay.

7. Show Appreciation Regularly
- Small gestures of love and gratitude reduce resentment.
- Compliment your partner and acknowledge their efforts.

8. Manage Stress & External Pressures
- Financial strain, work stress, or family issues can spill into your marriage. Address these together.

9. Seek Help When Needed
- If fights become frequent or toxic, consider couples therapy to learn healthier conflict resolution.

Final Thought
Disagreements are normal, but constant fights can damage a marriage. By fostering respect, patience, and open communication, you can minimize conflicts and strengthen your relationship.

05/11/2025

Mother’s Day can bring a mix of emotions, and I just want to send love and warmth to everyone today. Whether you’re celebrating, remembering, grieving, or simply reflecting—your feelings are valid. To all the mothers, mother figures, and those who hold others with a mother’s love in their hearts: you are seen, valued, and deeply appreciated

05/09/2025

Don’t fear the waves within.
They’re not storms to outrun,
but whispers of truth beneath the noise,
a compass pointing home.

Courage isn’t silence—
it’s the quiet yes
to what rises in your chest:
I hear you. What do you need me to know?

So if you feel off today,
pause. Breathe.
Let the ache speak.
Let the stirrings stretch their wings.

Your emotions aren’t too much—
they’re messengers of meaning,
guardians of what matters,
guides toward your healing.

You are not broken.
You are becoming.
And the wisdom you seek
is already within

05/09/2025

Don’t fear the waves within.
They’re not storms to outrun,
but whispers of truth beneath the noise,
a compass pointing home.

Courage isn’t silence—
it’s the quiet yes
to what rises in your chest:
I hear you. What do you need me to know?

So if you feel off today,
pause. Breathe.
Let the ache speak.
Let the stirrings stretch their wings.

Your emotions aren’t too much—
they’re messengers of meaning,
guardians of what matters,
guides toward your healing.

You are not broken.
You are becoming.
And the wisdom you seek
is already within

05/04/2025

04/19/2025

Imagine, in this moment, a perfect harmony between your inner and outer worlds—your left and right brain aligned, your masculine and feminine energies balanced and at peace

04/13/2025

Managing stress isn’t about being tougher — it’s about creating more release valves.
Most people try to power through until they overflow.
But that’s not strength — that’s self-destruction.

Here’s the truth:
Stress doesn’t disappear just because you ignore it.
It accumulates.
Little by little.
Task by task.
Email by email.

The stress bucket makes it clear:

What fills it up:
→ Deadlines
→ Family conflict
→ Health problems
→ Social expectations
→ Work burnout

What lets it out (if you let it):
→ Time with people who recharge you
→ Movement and exercise
→ Music, journaling, hobbies
→ Saying no without guilt
→ Real rest (not just sleep)

You can’t always avoid stress — but you can choose how you respond to it.

Stop trying to carry more.
Start making space to let it go.

04/09/2025

When it comes to intimacy, understanding love languages can really deepen the connection between partners. The five love languages—identified by Dr. Gary Chapman—play out in intimate relationships in both emotional and physical ways. Here’s how each one might show up specifically in intimate moments:
1. Physical Touch
This is the most directly connected to physical intimacy. It’s not just about sex—it includes holding hands, cuddling, caressing, and any touch that says “I’m close to you.” For someone with this love language, physical closeness equals emotional connection.
2. Words of Affirmation
During intimate moments, this can mean verbal expressions of love, appreciation, or desire. Compliments, gentle encouragement, and saying how much your partner means to you during or outside of intimacy creates emotional safety.
3. Acts of Service
Intimacy for someone with this love language may begin outside the bedroom. Doing thoughtful things—like making the bed, taking over a chore, or running a bath—can help them feel loved and more open to physical closeness.
4. Receiving Gifts
It’s not about materialism—it’s about the thought behind the gift. In intimacy, this might look like bringing home something small that shows you were thinking about them, or creating a sensual atmosphere (candles, music, etc.) as a form of romantic gesture.
5. Quality Time
Focused attention is key here. Intimacy for this person is more fulfilling when there’s emotional connection—long conversations, undivided attention, or setting time aside just for each other helps deepen physical closeness.

Do you know your love language or your partner’s? Want help figuring it out or seeing how to apply it more intentionally in your relationship?