02/25/2022
Hello to my African Queen's trying the most to just not fall apart in these changing days where we seem to be only getting further away from women's rights more than before.
Today I am going to be telling you a story of my amazing but difficult journey towards self acceptance and my healing journey. So get comfortable and maybe whip up some green teaš
āCongratulations your student visa has been approved.ā These were and still remains to be one of the best words to hear (apart when my little angels call me Mommy). I was so so exited having just graduated at the age of 22 in 2006 with my Bachelor degree. Finally my dream had come true and I was sailing away to the Great land of opportunity. Sure I would miss my friends and family back home but the joy and excitement was just too much to realize that I may never see some of them ever, D-day finally came and I was off to Detroit to start my new life.
Fast forward 6 years having finished my Masterās degree and securing a job at one of the media stations around Detroit, Thatās when I met him Marcus, He was the dream guy for me and things started well and we eventually got together officially and had 2 very brilliant and smart kids.
So in 2020 during the pandemic things seemed fine until one day it happened, I have come a long way to be able to speak about this because for a long time it has been suppressed in my mind thinking that it will make it all the better but it did not.
I came home to work and just felt something was amiss, I know all ladies know the feeling that I am talking about. So went in the house but everything looked normal and the kids were okay, so I called my husband and his phone was off but I just thought it was nothing much, entering my bedroom I found that his closet space was empty even his official shoes were gone and I became worried sick.
A week went by and I was running out of excuses to tell the kids and I did not want to accept some of my darkest fears were true . he had left without a goodbye or anything I was devastated and worried, just a rollercoaster of emotions running through my whole body. Because of my distractions during the quarantine period I was laid off due to my under performance at work and that just added salt to the wound. I was so depressed that I grew apart from the world, my kids and even myself. As the months went by it got harder to find a job and I had almost used up all of my savings trying to feed my kids and putting a smile on their faces whenever I could. I was thinking of killing myself and not wanting to go out into the world and just not existing up to 20 times a day.
One day on social media I found this white girl and I was so surprised at how fast we became friends and so one day I explained my situation to her and she linked me to a friend who was a trained therapist and the journey was hard and tough but I finally got out of my super depressive state and I was even assisted on getting a job.
What I mostly learnt was that a lot of the issues I was suffering from were mostly teenage and issues from my early 20s while I was in campus. The repressed issues I had buried deep down had surfaced and only then did I truly understand how serious mental health issues are back home among thousands if not millions of women who lack professional guidance on how to deal with such issues. It is so easy to rub your tears and say that everything will be okay but sometimes you should be able to deal with those issues in a healthy and progressive way.
That is why I finally decided to bring the mental issue home even though it is mostly frowned upon (Not Mathare Mental issues) but it is a disorder that is leading may astray as they donāt have the right structures put in place to help the vulnerable at an early age. Feel free to talk to me and I will listen and help in every way I can.(its FREE of charge so just talk to me)
