David O Saenz, PhD, EdM, LLC- Licensed Psychologist

03/04/2026

02/07/2026

SACRIFICE IS NOT THE SAME AS LOVE

Healthy love involves choice, reciprocity, and limits.
Burying yourself is none of those.

If your giving requires:
• chronic exhaustion
• resentment
• self-betrayal
• silencing your needs

…it’s no longer generosity. It’s robbing yourself of life to protect someone else from themselves.

01/28/2026

Miguel, a naturalized citizen to the US, built his grocery store and found safety and financial security where other Latinos failed. His cousin Umberto arrived undocumented, but Miguel refused to help and even supported ICE.

He rose alone, leaving his cousin—and others—to fend for themselves.

Umberto struggled, and while Miguel became more successful, he began to both "kick the ladder" and worse, work quietly with ICE to expose the newer "illegals".

"Ladder kicking" refers to the act of blocking, discouraging, or refusing to help someone who is trying to advance after you’ve already succeeded. The metaphor comes from climbing a ladder: instead of pulling someone up behind you (ladder pulling), you kick the ladder away so they can’t follow.

In short, it’s success hoarded at the expense of others’ mobility!

I saw Miguel:
1. Decline to lend money or share savings with family
2. Telling relatives or friends that certain paths are “too hard” or “not for people like us"
3. Using personal connections for his own gain
4. Supporting systems like ICE

Essentially: ladder kicking is about keeping opportunities, resources, or knowledge to yourself in ways that directly or indirectly prevent others from advancing.

To those not familier, this is not uncommon among people of color, and actually, every racial/ethnic group in the US.

01/19/2026

A "broken picker" can lead to very poor relationship choices, such as choosing someone who is emotionally immature, or who doesn't know how to fight fair or repair a relationship. Even a partner who is a slob or an extreme perfectionist can create stress if their daily living habits are too much. Someone is belittling, overly critical, controlling, etc., can, over time, develop into serious deal breakers that even love can't conquer.

If you get on the wrong train, get off at the next station; the longer you stay, the more expensive the return trip will be. — Japanese proverb Many people lack the courage to change direction no matter how painful the choice to stay can be.

01/16/2026

PROTECTING MY PEACE is often a shallow catch-phrase that actually means:
~I'm avoiding discomfort rather than setting thoughtful limits
~I'm using the phrase to avoid honesty and responsibility and then calling it self-care
~I'm refusing feedback, repair, or effort
~I'm prioritizing ease or comfort over integrity and resolution.

In a nutshell, its become a moral exemption: "I'm not dealing with this!"

For the sake of accuracy, genuine “protecting your peace” means you're pulling consent from a relationship dynamic that:
~Removes agency
~Removes real understanding from the equation
~No longer justifies the psychological cost of engaging

Genuine protecting my peace is not self centered, in fact it's accurate not because you don’t care, but because you finally realize that caring can't fix the issue. There is no transformability here, you’re stating the situation is no longer transformable from where you stand: that’s a sober assessment, not an escape. You're refusing unpaid emotional labor that benefits no one.

01/06/2026

Beautiful story of loving kindness and compassion. Imagine a culture where this was the norm?

12/30/2025

Most relationships fail or become difficult when one or both partners stop doing the things that brought them together in the 1st place (e.g., kissing, holding hands and touching, being appreciative of the little things, respect of boundaries, fighting fair, repairig damage). Never underestiate the power of the most simple things to rekindle your relationship.

10/17/2025

How do you “furnish” a rut? You add to it, you give it oxygen and water it by ruminating on it, adding to it, etc., until it outgrows the initial incident (i.e., “Did you have a bad day, or did you have a stressful minute and blow it up to fill the rest of the day?)

10/03/2025

Stop seeking validation from others videos:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdtlmlkddyI&t=117s

pnhttps://youtube.com/shorts/cuaYULXr8Dc?si=XqXTTmHcHjUqmZ-e