Trade Winds Therapy & Relationship Coaching

05/11/2025

Happy Mother's Day! To all mothers... those with children in their arms, those with children in their hearts, and those who long to be mothers... today is for you. Your love, resilience, and grace inspire us all.

04/27/2025

I've taken longer than I wanted getting this done, but sometimes life is like that. Be on the lookout for the pre-order link coming in May!

It's been a while, but I'm back. The workbook's second edition is coming soon. Be on the lookout for the pre-order link in May.

12/19/2023

Relationship gridlock is not a fun place to be stuck in for anyone. Recognize when you're in gridlock, take a breath, and start a conversation to understand your partner's point of view and values in that moment.

Ultimately, you may not get to an immediate resolution, but you will at least gain a better appreciation for what's important to your partner and why. In so doing, you'll build more empathy and connection overall, even if you don't agree.

12/12/2023

This is a really good (but difficult) perspective on crying. Just last night, I was thinking to myself that it would be nice to have one day without having to manage my child crying. She literally cries every day, usually multiple times a day, and it's exhausting for me. Mostly because it's not just sad tears (which I could handle), but it's also screaming, fighting, pleading, and sometimes even physical attacks. I'm currently nursing a gash on my hand from an incident with her on Sunday because she wanted corn on the cob instead of the canned corn that was served for dinner. Thankfully, we were able to repair after that.

If I look at that situation (and many MANY others) from this perspective, it gives me a little hope that I'm providing a safe space for her at home to let out her frustrations and disappointments and she'll grow into an emotionally mature person. Maybe someday I'll see the fruit from this difficult labor.

Credit to and these slides on their IG page.

10/07/2023

When your kids are babies, you don't need to do much "parenting" per se, but as you approach the toddler years, you'll find your parenting styles start to emerge. It's important to note that you may not have a similar parenting style to your partner and this can actually cause conflict between you.

To avoid/manage conflict better when you don't have the same approach, I encourage you to do the following:

1) Even with a different approach, get on the same page about your end goal. For example, if your child wants candy before dinner, but you both believe it's not an appropriate time for candy, hold your boundaries and tell your child the expectations. Communicate an alternative, say no, whatever, but make sure you're sending the same message.

2) Do NOT, I repeat DO NOT, put down your partner's style in front of your child. If you have an issue with their approach, address it with them (gently!) in private at a later time. When you undermine your partner in front of your child, you will definitely create disconnection between you and conflict may occur.

3) Lastly, I suggest if you or your partner needs help with your parenting style and you clash more than you want, please seek out counseling and/or self-help resources. It's ok to not know what you're doing and want to learn how to do it better.

Stay tuned for my next post that will point you in the direction of some invaluable resources!

09/20/2023

Repair is crucial for a healthy relationship, especially as a parent.

https://www.facebook.com/reel/1663729067444095?s=yWDuG2&fs=e&mibextid=Nif5oz

09/14/2023

I read this recently and thought it was brilliant! It takes nothing but a small amount of positive energy and time to give out encouragement and you can never run out. So spend your encouragements without abandon!

09/14/2023

When you are in conflict with your partner, I want you to focus on these three things:

1) Talk to each other like you actually love each other

2) Do everything to preserve the relationship

3) Accept love in all different forms

When you focus on these three things, your mindset will shift more easily from a place of frustration and negativity to a place of cooperation and compassion.

09/12/2023

Quick tip:

When you use too many words and either over-explain or make your request too complicated, it sounds a bit like this. If you want to be heard more clearly, use fewer words and keep the K.I.S.S. approach in mind: Keep It Simple (and) Specific.

Remember that less is more in many cases.

07/11/2023

How much time and energy are you spending on your triggers instead of your glimmers?

Tony Robbins says "energy flows where attention goes". If you focus your energy on your triggers, negative thoughts, or anger, that's the space where you will likely get stuck. It's fast, chaotic, and just feels bad.

When you shift to looking for the glimmers, your energy slows, becomes more peaceful and joyful, and you're able to recenter more easily.

Some days it may be more difficult to find glimmers than others... especially if you're having a hard time with your partner or kids. Your mind naturally wants to focus on the triggers to figure them out, fix them, feel validated, or simply wallow in them.

However, there is little good that happens from doing this. Yes, understanding your triggers gives you information, but we often give them much more energy than they deserve.

Simply said: focusing on your triggers robs you of joy.

Glimmers are all around you. Pay attention and you'll find lots.