Jimmy Pickett

02/02/2025

Sunday musings- Febuary 2 2025
A fifth step of the NA program is:
We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs,” Basically one shares ones fourth step. For some folks who use the workbook questions this step is a lot more detail than what I have included in my fourth step this time .
One of the things I greatly appreciate about the NA or 12 step program in general is that one is never shamed for what one reveals in the fourth step. The usual response is;”is that all there is?”or“is that as bad as it gets?”all know the addiction changes the brain and the nature of the illness is that one will do whatever one needs to do to satisfy the Addiction. There is also the general assumption that we are all equally human; that we fail at being our best selves on an hourly and daily basis. In the confessions of most religious organizations one has to be contrite and sorry . It needs to be accepted that we are all equally imperfect that we’re all going to hurt ourselves other people and one another. Earth by what we have done and by what we have left is done. The spiritual journey for a recovery addict or any of us is a process of accepting we’re going to fail often no matter how lofty our goals or how humble we are in our goals. A spiritual journey is an attempt to keep moving forward and becoming our best self just for today. We all know we will fail at some level at being perfect. The important point is that we strive to be our best selves that we are honest about the ways in which we fail; we are humble enough to admit our failings, by humble it is assumed that we accept the fact we are humans and the god of our understanding whatever our concept of that God is. In my fourth step this time I did my best to be honest about both goal of striving to become my best self post stroke, cancer knowing that in my humanness. If I focus on the positive ,being grateful on an hourly basis that is exactly what will happen. All my family members and friends have been very accepting and not shamed me for my whining and complaining behavior. Trusting once I have finished my whining and complaining I will reset myself, apologize and return to pursuing my spiritual goals of focusing on being my best self just for today. As I progress with redoing the Twelve Steps. I will make quickly and without shame or excessive beating of myself. Obviously the first time I did a fourth step I had accumulated a lot of regrets many of which I had not sought amends for or attempted to make amends for. It is now my goal with this structure to make amends as quickly as possible, simple to admit to quickly take responsibility for my shortcomings and take responsibility when I fail at spiritual goals or being my best self. In other words, it is my goal to never again have an extensive fourth step with the pile of misdeeds and hurts I have caused and for which I have failed to make amends of my understanding is my concept of a god is a perfect being who accepts my humanness. I understand my teachers such as the Buddha and Jesus love me as a human and not as a god by definition as humans we are going to hurt ourselves, each other and mother Earth by what we do and what we leave undone. The best we could do to please the god of our understanding is to quickly admit when we fail to be our best selfs, make our amends and return to our spiritual goals. Most of us will not publish our fourth step on Facebook, but we could certainly on a daily basis do a fourth step with those with whom we interact and with Mother Earth. if we are honest with ourselves we know instantly when we have been less than our best self when we have been unkind or even hurtful with some action of ours through out and do not need to live in shame or focus on regrettable. By letting it go quickly we can move on and not allow past, the stress of holding on to resolve in more bad behavior.

01/26/2025

Sunday Musings -January 26, 2025

The fourth step of the 12 step program guides one in making a searching and fearless moral inventory. Basically it is guiding one in practicing the principals honesty, open mindedness and willingness; exploring and coming to terms with the ways in which one has hurt oneself, others and mother earth in the pastlThe disease of addiction causes one to act in ways which are contrary to one’s stated core moral values.

Most of us find that when we are faced with new challenges in our life, it is easy for us to get off center and self centered and do not behave in a way which is consistent with our stated, moral principles and goals. Certainly, this has been true for me as I have faced a new chapter post cancer diagnosis and stroke. I have often become focused on the negatives and not the positives. I no longer have the illusion of control over my body, including my thinking or the direction I want to take in the community or professionally.

Many loving people stepped up to make a move possible for me. A move which included a first floor apartment, which was more accessible in my current physical condition. Many of the same people packed up my old apartment and physically moved
it to my new apartment, Other loving friends including my grandchildren located an apartment for me. My sister then came for a month to help me settle into the new apartment.

My spiritual goal was and is to stay focused on the positive of all the loving people who have helped me and on the blessings of having a safe place to live and the opportunity to practice spiritual principles. Sadly sometimes on a daily basis I focus on the negative of what I perceived the negatives rather than the positives. For example:
1. The new apartment does not have all the luxuries of my old apartment, although it does have a laundry facilities in the building is close to stores ,church and my grandchildren.
2. Somethings did not get packed in the order I would have packed them and still have not been located.
3 . My body does not function the same as it did prior to the stroke or prior to the cancer diagnosis, for example my left side was affected more than my right making some actions including typing difficult for me.
4. My budget is considerably different since my expenses are higher and my income reduced. Yet I have enough money for my expenses and I am able to continue some paid work.
5. My body is physically in recovery from the stroke and although it does not function the way it did prior to the stroke. I have been able to resume some gym exercises and to move around fairly freely.
6. I have healthcare with the VA and have been able to get some of my health needs met by the via Community Care meaning local medical people which means I do not have to travel to Pittsburgh for all of my care and find people who can transport me.

Obviously, I have lots for which to be grateful, and it would seem relatively simple to stay focused on all the positive of this chapter of my life. Positives which many people do not have or experience I would love to be able to say that I am mostly successful in staying focus on the positives. But in fact, I have often whine, complain and focus on the negatives on what I don’t have, not what I do have obviously doing so is not consistent with my spiritual goals, although it may be understandable as a human. I would like to believe that as I continue to use the steps to refocus most of the time, I will still focus on the positives and all that I have for which to be grateful. I know, however, that healing, emotionally spiritually, and physically is a process and not a destination. I need to extend my gratitude to myself and focus on when I am able to stay positive and not consistently beat myself up for the times I’m not yet able to focus on the positive. I am enormously grateful for much including the ongoing support my sister, my grandchildren and many others who supply me with kind words, nutritious meals, and sometimes rides to the doctors. I am also grateful for the fact that I have some medical care and I’m not living in a war zone or other area where none is available. I am also not a refugee knocking at the border and finding low welcoming arms by the United States. If I consistently practice honesty, open mindness and willingness I will continue to admit when I am wrong or hurtful to others. When I am less than grateful for the fact that the step program and many who practiced the program have taught me that we can openly admit our imperfections and hurtful behavior without shaming ourselves or thinking we are undeserving of love and support. There is obviously no higher power keeping an excel spreadsheet comparing my deeds or hurtful behavior with those of others and deciding I am in last place in the race to be spiritually fit.
Written January 26, 2025
Jimmy Jimmy F Pickett
Coachpickett.org

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Life Coaching - what it is and who should use it.

01/19/2025

. January Musings- January 19,2025

The third step of the NA program is to make a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand him. As I stated last week the use of the word God is often difficult for some in early recovery. Hopefully if one has worked a solid second step they have resolved some of the language difficulties, and associations they have they may have accumulated during their childhood.

At this point of my life I’ve had to face the fact that my way of doing many tasks on a day-to-day basis is no longer possible because of the physical and mental limitations imposed by my post stroke body including my limited eyes, hearing difficulty and slower ability to process information and issues as well as other limitations many of the ways I was used to accomplishing daily tasks both in my business and my private life. I want to hold on to or as my Buddhist teacher might say to have shenpa for many of my ways of accomplishing tasks . Ways which have worked well for me for many years no longer work for example, I have used Quicken to manage my finances. Now my

limited use of my left hand and limited eyesight make it impossible for me to use the same financial program. I was very attached to this program, but was forced to explore other options. I also am forced at this time to face the loss of driving privileges. This affects my ability to attend doctors appointment shop by myself or attending cultural and other community events on my own. I often become very frustrated and continue to insist on trying the impossible to do that and perform tasks the way that I have been doing. Eventually I’m forced to to face the new reality and explore ways of doing things differently to follow the advice of the wise and loving people in my life. The third step reminds me the God of understanding is not stepping in to drive me to the store or perform other task but is forcing me to face the current reality that I must accept the suggestions and advice of other wise and loving people in my life, turning my will and my life over to the care of the God of my understanding as I understand him, is turning it over to the current reality and accepting the help and advice of other people. It means I have to accept significant changes. because the God of my understanding is all wise and knowing and my way of doing things. Habits I’ve stumbled onto which has worked for me were just habits may often be the best or even the most efficient of doing things. But just habits I hang onto the way that if I honestly face the new reality I can accept that the habits are many changes ,habits are not the right ,necessary the or best way and if I turn my life over to the care of God as I understand him I may just be opening to what works well in this chapter of my life. For those seeking few openly it means facing the reality that there are not enough addictive drugs or behaviors in the world to allow one to be there for themselves and others in a meaningful way. In a way which is consistent with being their best selves. Finding they have much to offer themselves and others they are a person of value they could not manifest during their active addiction.

01/12/2025

 Sunday musings -January 12,2025

Step 2 of the 12 steps of we can believe is a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity,”quote

Often the initial reaction to this step is negative because many people will associate a power greater than oneself with a childhood concept of an angry, punishing, immature god who keeps an exell spreadsheet of all the times his, her feelings have been hurt- a concept of a higher power it is tough to trust as one who can restore one from the insanity of addiction which leaves one feeing as if one is the center of the universe and thus very alone. At this point those in recovery might promise to love one till one begin to love one self. Eventually one might begin to accept that we are all part of a whole system which is inter dependent what one does affects the entire universe and thus one is affected by the actions of all which exist or for ever might be the magical energy we share1 to facilitate healing. Even trees stare resources with their neighboring environment. Thus perhaps a higher power is the whole of which we are an integral part. We are never alone. We are less than the whole and more than our self centered selves. The loving energy of the whole can heal our mind and physical body as can reality of unconditional love is accepted.
Healing can be understood to be a spiritual process although one might also experience some physical healing. Spiritual healing assures us we have a purpose other than mere survival or feeding our own self centered ego. For me this means I must accept that I am more than the physical self I was prior to cancer and strokes. I am also not my former physical home, physical skills, former sight hearing or other physical abilities although with hard work I might regain some abilities or former skills .I will want to avoid shenpa attachment to my former small sense of self. The process of spiritual healing has to be a daily work in process. One must limit one’s grief for one’s former self and keep inviting oneself back to a spiritual center.
The center of this process is humility. Student is constantly reminded of base of openness, willingness and honesty as one listens to one;s words being fed back to one. Teacher must accept being the student in real time and not just in a theorectical sense.

Thus one is invited to face the reality of a power of greatern than oneself.

Written by Jim Pickett January 12 2025
Coach

01/02/2025

v bv

01/02/2025

Sunday musings - January 5, 2025

I have studied many spiritual programs but none offers the simplicity and the the essentials for returning to a spiritual center as does the12-step addiction recovery program. Thus, when I am confronted with a new challenge or opportunity for growth over which I am powerless i turn back to the 12 steps. Over the next 12 Sundays I will attempt to return to the steps to reclaim my spiritual center. Today i begin with the first step which addresses powerlessness.

Often we humans have to face the realty we are powerless. A person addicted to alcohol or some other drug has.To face there ability to control brain does not know when a drug is impairing their behavior or about too. They are powerless over the addicted nature of the of the substance.or behavior Most of we humans hate facing the reality of our limited power over people, places and events. Thus, when cancer and strokes visited my body I had to face the fact that life as I have known it is no longer under my control. Realizing this I did not go quietly into this chapter of my life. In fact , I argued, kicked and whined acting as if by wishful thinking I could return my body to its former state of functioning. Obviously that approach did not work. I am powerless except to work with medical professionals and to practice spiritual principles . I must daily return to the following spiritual principles .

Change has no inherent positive or negative value
Kicking and screaming has a time limited value.
reality is not affected by denial
Experience tells me I always get what i need to grow spiritually
I am never alone unless I chooses to.
No one knows what vi need until I ask
Honesty , open kindness and willingness are core spiritual principles
one must not limit how often one prac

Often we humans have to face the raalty we are powerless. A person afddicted to alcohol rsome other drug hasTo face therealitytheir brain does not know when a drug is impairing their behavior or about to., They are powerless over the addicted nature of the of the substance.or behavior Most of we humans hate facing the reality of our limited power over people, places sand events. Thus, when bot ecanncer and strokes visited my body i had to face the fact that life as I have known it is no Longer under my control. Realizing this I did not go quietly into this this chapter of my life In fact , i argued, kicked and whined acting as if bywishful thinking I cloud return my bidy to its former state of functionng. Obviously that approach did not worthier, I am powerless except to work with medical prfwessionals and to practice spiritual principles . I must daily return to the following spifritual piniciples:

change has no inherent psitive or negative value
Kicking and screaming has a Time limited value.
reality is not affected by denial
Experience tells me I slways get what i need to grow spiritually
I am never alone unless i chooses to ```
No one knows what vi
Jimmy Pickett
Coachpickett.org







Sunday

12/21/2024

Welcome to Sundaymusngsas we welcome thenewyesar. New possbltesm tolearn. Much to exprerniecce ;much to absorb;much to hope for
Peace in the middle east
end of politicaladndeligious smugness
Peace in the Ukrainesndeverywherr
Less need to prove worthvia power,money,volence
Morebeffctive treatment for illness including addiction and diabetes
Less useof religion tojustfly mistreatment of each other.
Less judgment of the lseast ofus which is often thebest of us
On a more immefdiateteanand personal note:
Less shenpa/attachment
More acceptance f life on life’s terms
Greater patience
Slowing down to be more fully present
Loving unconditionally more effectively
Enbracing loved ones
Gratitude for family- bio;ogicall and chosen
Daily holistic health care
MORE acceptance of the aging
process
Enjoying having adopted grandchildren
Healthy relationship with money
Less shame
Ability to continuve woking
Less serious
Dailydoing myt besnt o emulatec teachers such as Jesus and,the buddha
Laugh often with self and others.
Gracious acceptance of my strengths and limitations

This list is an attenptto reviewo opportunities which have ben offereded in 2024especiallyy since mycancer snd stroke chapters

Jimmy pickett
December29,2024
Coach

12/21/2024

12/20/2024

Sunday musings -December 20, 2024 less about my relationship with money.
Last week I wrote about some of the spiritual opportunities my journey of post stroke experiences have presented. These opportunities continue to be presented this past week. My anxious and somewhat contentious relationship with money has often been the center of my thoughts. I grew up very poor and early on learned to feel shameful of being poor. I am no longer poor. I have been blessed to be able to move some distance from what people consider poverty. I had hoped to leave generous gifts to my remaining siblings when I die. Sometime ago I’m had to let go of my dream of leaving my son money to make his life more comfortable. The decision was based on his decision to end contact with me related I must assume in the absence of other information, related to his journry with a painful bipolar disorder which often results in black and white decisions. This blog is not about him but about my often irrational and unhealthy relationship with money. I am more than my mother’s child, I do not believe money or the lack of it determines self worth or spiritual health, it is interesting that if someone I love or even one of my favorite charities needs money I can be very generous. I now am forced to spend money to regain as much health as possible but often feel reckless and irresponsible while doing so. I am fearful of not being able to take care of myself physically and emotionally. I am blessed to know when I am being irrational my friends and especially my grandchildren remind me i have no choice. They make financial decisions and commitments for me. They ignore my cries of impending doom forcing me to confront my unhealthy emotions regarding money. This allows for a healthier relationship with money even while I am screaming through the process, I am again challenged to grow spiritually and let go of irrational beliefs I often gathered as a young child. For this I am grateful on a spititual if not immediately on an emotional level.
written December 20, 2024.
Jimmy f Pickett

Life Coaching - what it is and who should use it.

12/18/2024

Anyone who can help move Jim Pickett sat morning show up at 9amwith boxes and packing psaper. Any help even to move one big group of hanging clothes would be appreciated. Moving from 1401 wood st apt 201 to 354 Washington ave apt 1055. Jim stlll in rehab Josh broverman coordinating 304 t5515735jim is at 304 639 2179

11/17/2024

Sunday Musings - November 17, 2024 was posted on coachpickett.org

Sunday Musings - November 17, 2024

Our fondness for creating those we want to define by a label

Daily we find various reasons to label individuals and groups creating a myth to make the person or group fit the label as if that tells us all we want or need to know; often whether they are friend or enemy.

Some of us may have been particularly aware of doing this during and since the recent presidential election in the United States. Labels such as woke, left, right, MAGAQ, immigrant, criminal, democrat, Republican, devil, undemocratic, old, female, dangerous ae just a few which come to mind.

Spiritual leaders have, throughout the ages, both warned against defining s person or group as a label while also adding to the lexicon of labels. Terms such as sinners, saint, the chosen, Pharisee, and a host of other terms often contrast with the warning to resist judging or defining a person or group based on a label. Thus, Jesus warns against labeling a woman as a pr******te

Last night I asked a man if, when he is with children If he is a student or a teacher. He wisely said “both” Often, if we are honest and open, we find we are both roles in all relationships. Just this week a man for whom I am a clinical supervisor on his road to obtaining his professional license gave me helpful, critical feedback about my too stringent attitude during a phone call.

My own spiritual teacher strongly suggests I drop the dualities; the labels/judgments.

Jason DeLeon, an anthropologist, in his book, Soldiers and Kings has suggested we reconsider our labeling of immigrants and those who help them escape the violence of poverty, gang wars, climate change
and the other sources of inability to care for themselves and their families. We often label those who guide them as smugglers which has a very negative connotation as if these guides -usually with connections to help them navigate safe passage -are not often brave individuals doing a dangerous job. Clearly there are unscrupulous/unhealthy businesspeople in most business enterprises. Some of these guides take advantages of desperate people. Most provide a necessary service. We also often make immigrant a negative, harshly judgmental label instead of a neighbor seeking refuge and a better, safer life for themselves and their family.

If a person helped one of the oppressed in N**i Germany, they were appropriately lauded as heroes.

Anytime we think a label - criminal, immigrant, addict, women, gay, white privileged male, Jew, Muslim Christian Nationalist, Latino, etc.- tells us who a person is we are doing a disservice to ourselves, our neighbors, and all members of the community. Once again, I am reminded of an oft quoted statement of Martin Niemoeller:

Arrested by Gestapo and sent to Dachau concentration campy in 1938 - freed by Allies seven years later. He said:

In Germany, the N**is first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn’t a communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, but I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me, and by that time there was no oner left to speak up for me."

If we truly believe we need to work together to create a more just, loving, strong community we will get to know each other as whole equals and not as labels. Anytime we create a label to discount the sacred humanness of another we become part of the problem and not the solution.

Written November 17, 2024
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org