Dr. Daniel S. Sokal Psychotherapy and Counseling

02/28/2025

My recent blog post on making sense of the theory of projective identification.

Understanding how projective identification works can help us set emotional boundaries and protect our well-being. Let's take a closer look.

02/13/2023

Communities have a role in this. Hateful bigotry and fear mongering of socially constructed perceived otherness, play a large role in su***de.

Girls, as well as adolescents who identified as le***an, gay or bisexual, reported high rates of sadness, suicidal thoughts and sexual violence.

02/09/2023

A poignant look at depression and su***de through the eyes of a mourning friend.

I learned hard lessons when my oldest friend, Pete, plunged into depression.

12/14/2022

I was interviewed and quoted for an article in the Daily Beast today!

“My fiancé said that this is irrational. He does not want to have a silent wedding.” an anonymous bride-to-be wrote to the Washington Post—and the world seems to agree with him.

08/08/2021

An article I was interviewed for regarding a narcissistic behavior of overly excited future bonded beginnings without the depth of really knowing the other was published recently in Health Magazine.

Future faking is a dating strategy that narcissists use to manipulate people. Find out more about future faking here.

06/05/2021

On loss and love and how we hold those we lost in mind.

04/22/2021

“One way to think about grieving, they said, is that the feeling of connection to the person who died “gradually moves from preoccupying the mind to residing comfortably in the heart.” I’m unsure about that word, “comfortably,” but yes, I’m no longer preoccupied. Now, 34 years after my son’s death, I’m back in charge, and if pain never quite goes away, then neither does love.”

Scientists know that the intense stress of grieving can affect the body in various ways, but much remains a mystery.

04/11/2021

"Apologizing is hard. “It can feel like death,” Ruckstaetter says. If you’ve hurt a child with your words or actions, don’t ignore the resulting distress. Embrace guilt, a feeling that contains within it a recognition of wrongdoing that can prompt prosocial behavior. “Move into your guilt and say, ‘I was wrong,’” Ruckstaetter says. Notice if your response feels more like shame, which often results in withdrawal rather than apology. Shame might manifest as internal dialogue that says, “I’m bad,” or “I’m unworthy,” whereas guilt tends to arise with more specificity: “I feel bad for saying those mean things.”

Even if it’s difficult, admit you were wrong and share only your remorse.

01/22/2021

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/01/22/us/cori-bush-fka-twigs-coercive-control.html?referringSource=articleShare

The Congresswoman Cori Bush and the musician FKA twigs describe how manipulative, isolating conduct known as “coercive control” helped trap them in abusive relationships. Lawmakers are starting to listen.

01/17/2021

“Something very interesting happens when we put things on paper,” Ms. McKowen said, “because we have a lot of cognitive dissonance around drinking.” She couldn’t deflect around what she saw on the page, though: two bottles of wine a night. She got sober, and went on to help others do the same through coaching and teaching workshops.”

For many, January is a month to rethink how much they imbibe, whether they’re worried about heavy drinking or just looking for a reset.

12/10/2020

The key need, "...stable, nurturing and loving interaction with their parents"

“To an unexpected degree, the study of the children of the Great Depression followed a trajectory of resilience into the middle years of life,” wrote Glen Elder, the author of that research.

Brenda Volling, a psychology professor at the University of Michigan and an expert in social and emotional development, said one takeaway is that Depression-era children who fared best came from families who overcame the economic fallout more readily and who, as a result, were less hostile, angry and depressed.

To that end, what infants, toddlers and other children growing up in the Covid era need most now is stable, nurturing and loving interaction with their parents, Dr. Volling said."

Covid-19 has meant the youngest children can’t go to birthday parties or play dates. Parents are keeping them out of day care. What is the long-term effect of the pandemic on our next generation?

08/19/2020

My colleague Justine Carino's great new podcast! Thanks for letting me be a part of it!