Blue Wave Counseling and Psychotherapy

09/27/2025

What is Anorexia in S.L.A.A.?Within S*x and Love Addicts Anonymous, s*xual, social, and emotional anorexia may take a variety of forms.
This document is intended for s*xual, social, and emotional anorectics, that they may see themselves, and
know they are not alone.Possible Signs of Social, Emotional, or S*xual Anorexia:• we may not have had s*x or been in a close personal relationship in years
• we may be in partnerships but find it difficult to be emotionally close
• we may have many acquaintances but no one we’re really close to
• we may have close relations with only certain people, our children, say, but keep distance from anyone else
• we may feel overwhelmed in social settings
• we may feel incapacitated by shyness in relationships with others
• we may be emotionally invested in a relationship but remain s*xually or socially unavailable
• we may have an overwhelming dread of making phone calls
• we may function well in the workplace where intimacy is not usually valued, but find we are distant with
family or friends
There are many other varieties of anorectics, but whichever kind we are, all of us in some important way have
distanced ourselves from experiencing love. Faced with getting our needs met, we are baffled because we
can’t even name these needs. However, beneath the surface, anorexia consists of not doing something. Not
trusting, not committing, not surrendering. Here, unlike picking up a drink or shooting up a drug, anorexia’s
symptoms are obscure, and uneventful. We observe that we are engaged in a policy of dread of others and a
strategy to keep them at bay. Whether our anorexia is social, s*xual, or emotional, we awaken to the fact that
we are not experiencing the giving and receiving of love that is so precious to human life.Hope and RecoveryYou are not alone. There are many who respond as you do and who feel as you do. Or who once felt that way.
We have begun to do the work of recovery and change in S*x and Love Addicts Anonymous. We endeavor to
stop a pattern of s*x and love anorexia and we work the Twelve Steps of S.L.A.A. We have found, no matter
how different or alone we feel, that reaching out to others – to give help and to ask for it – helps us to recover
from our anorexia.
Some S.L.A.A. meetings have a specific focus on anorexia. If there isn’t an anorectic meeting near you, you
may want to start one. For more information about recovering from social, s*xual, and emotional anorexia,
including anorexia-focused meetings and literature, contact the Fellowship Wide Service Office of S.L.A.A,

S*x and Love Addicts Anonymous is a Twelve Step, Twelve Tradition-oriented fellowship based on the model pioneered by Alcoholics Anonymous. The only qualification for S.L.A.A. membership is a desire to stop living out a pattern of s*x and love addiction. S.L.A.A. is supported entirely through the co...

09/22/2025

https://www.rageaholicsanonymous.org/

Rageaholics Anonymous is a 12-step recovery program, a fellowship for mutual help around our problem of rage and around the solutions we have found to that problem.

08/14/2025

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-14997853/Dirty-habit-18-million-Americans-schizophrenia.html

A collection of studies has revealed a concerning link between people who use a controversial drug daily and mental health problems that could turn fatal.

08/13/2025

https://youtu.be/K3fjOFaYq6g?si=cB6pwAl7CFXOe1up

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06/21/2025

https://youtu.be/P-voRs6qAqc?si=2M4venvTRfmkc-Os

We do a live show! And we're touring the world. See our list of dates and what cities here...LIVE SHOWS ➡ http://www.foilarmsandhog.ie/tourIf you'd like more...

05/10/2025

https://open.spotify.com/episode/5T9uV0ClT87Ve9DvNGatYz?si=fm6tnRFHR8SQE1-Jgt8Mqw

D15 Today · Episode

04/29/2025

https://www.cnn.com/2025/04/28/health/reparenting-yourself-how-to-start-wellness/index.html

The reactions you’d love to change in yourself might be your inner child crying out for what they need. Here is how you help that inner child.

04/15/2025

https://friendlycircleberlin.org/

Friendly Circle Berlin empowers you on your path to emotional sobriety and resilience through trauma-informed recovery. Welcome to join us!

04/08/2025

"Many of us have children who will possibly qualify for ACA one day due to transferring our disease of family dysfunction to them." BRB p. 156

We remember wondering as we were growing up why life was so bad for us and not for other kids. We fantasized about how differently we would treat our children. They would never feel like this because we'd be the best parents - the parents we always wanted.

However, most of us weren't able to fulfill that fantasy. We wanted to act like loving parents, but often found ourselves doing the opposite. What was wrong with us? These were our little children, why couldn't we do things better? And the guilt began to plague us. We didn't yet realize that the effects from our childhood were so ingrained in us. No matter what we promised ourselves, no matter how sincere we were, we repeated the same behaviors.

In ACA, we are relieved to hear others speak about the same guilt, about their inability to be the parents they want to be. It's a relief to know we aren't alone.

We learn that the way to heal the relationships with our own children is to first heal ourselves by recovering from the baggage we've carried from our childhood. As we do so, we begin to lift our heads and free ourselves from the guilt that is keeping us stuck. We begin to change the way we do things.

On this day I will focus on my own recovery and heal myself first, knowing this is how I will have the most positive impact on my loved ones.

04/01/2025

Amid calls for Netflix drama Adolescence to be compulsory viewing in secondary schools, we hear if students recognise the dark picture it paints.Watch the f...

03/14/2025

Negative bias, also known as the negativity bias, is the psychological tendency to focus more on negative experiences, emotions, or information than on positive ones. This bias means that negative events tend to have a stronger impact on our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors than equally intense positive events.

How Negative Bias Works
Greater Attention to Negative Stimuli – People are more likely to notice negative information over positive or neutral information.
Stronger Emotional Impact – Negative events elicit stronger emotional reactions than positive events of similar intensity.
Memory Retention – Negative experiences are remembered more vividly and for longer periods than positive ones.
Influence on Decision-Making – Negative outcomes often weigh more heavily in our choices than positive ones, leading to risk aversion or pessimistic thinking.
Examples of Negative Bias
Personal Relationships: A single argument with a friend or partner can overshadow months of positive interactions.
Workplace Feedback: Employees tend to dwell on one piece of criticism despite receiving multiple compliments.
News Consumption: Negative headlines capture more attention and are more likely to be remembered than positive stories.
Self-Perception: A person might focus on one failure rather than recognizing their many successes.
Why Does Negative Bias Exist?
From an evolutionary standpoint, being more attuned to negative stimuli helped early humans survive by recognizing threats (e.g., predators, danger, or social rejection). This heightened awareness of potential harm was crucial for self-preservation.

Overcoming Negative Bias
Practice Gratitude: Regularly focusing on positive experiences can help counteract the bias.
Reframe Negative Thoughts: Consciously challenge and reframe negative thinking patterns.
Limit Exposure to Negativity: Reducing consumption of negative news or social media can lessen its impact.
Mindfulness and Meditation: These practices can help manage emotional responses and reduce fixation on negativity.

03/13/2025

Following on the theme below:

How does mindfulness, meditation, and awarness effect the above numbers

Mindfulness, meditation, and awareness disrupt the cycle of repetitive thinking and create more space for new thoughts, insights, and conscious choices. Here’s how they impact the numbers:

1. Decreasing Repetitive Thoughts (Breaking the Loop)
Since 97% of thoughts are repetitive, mindfulness and meditation interrupt automatic thinking patterns by:

Bringing attention to the present moment instead of defaulting to habitual thoughts.
Reducing rumination (thinking about the same worries over and over).
Helping the brain recognize and let go of unnecessary, unhelpful thoughts instead of recycling them.
🧠 Possible Impact:

Instead of 97% of thoughts being repetitive, meditation could lower that to 80% or less over time.
Over 60 years, that could mean millions more fresh, conscious, and creative thoughts instead of rehashed worries and past-focused thinking.
2. Creating More New Thoughts (Expanding Awareness)
Meditation and mindfulness stimulate the brain’s neuroplasticity, which allows for:

More creative, original, and problem-solving thoughts instead of reactive ones.
Greater adaptability, since the brain becomes more open to new perspectives.
Breaking old habits of thinking by strengthening awareness of what we focus on.
🧠 Possible Impact:

Instead of only 3% of thoughts being new, mindfulness could increase this to 10–20%.
That means instead of only 39.4 million new thoughts over 60 years, you could have 130–260 million new thoughts—a dramatic increase in mental freshness and clarity.
3. Reducing Overthinking & Mental Noise
A significant portion of our 60,000 daily thoughts are unnecessary mental clutter (worry, self-doubt, replaying past events, anticipating future problems).

Meditation quiets the mind, reducing excess, redundant, or unhelpful thoughts.
This frees up mental energy for insight, presence, and meaningful engagement with life.
🧠 Possible Impact:

Instead of 60,000 thoughts per day, a meditator might experience 40,000–50,000 more intentional, useful thoughts per day.
Over a lifetime, this means millions fewer wasted thoughts and more time spent in clarity and purpose.
Final Thought: Meditation Gives You Back Control Over Your Mental Space
Without mindfulness, our minds run on autopilot, recycling the past.
With mindfulness, we reclaim mental real estate, allowing more presence, creativity, and awareness.

So, rather than living trapped in 1.27 billion repetitive thoughts, meditation opens the door to more clarity, fresh perspectives, and meaningful insights.

Wouldn’t you rather consciously shape more of those billion thoughts rather than letting them run you?