Echo Wentz, LMFT

03/18/2022

03/16/2022

Finally got my website up, after working on it for most of a year. Check it out here: https://heartgps.net/

04/08/2021

Parenting from 'The Middle Zone' is a balance between Enmeshment (high empathy and low boundaries) and Detachment (high boundaries and low empathy).

From the point of view of IFS Therapy, it looks like this:

Enmeshed Point of View (part): This is my child, I created him/her. I am responsible for him/her and his/her happiness and well-being.
This 'part' of us tends to look through the eyes of fear and worry. We feel vulnerable and respond by empathizing and 'feeling sorry for' our child, while subtlely (or not so) trying to manipulate them to reduce our sense of vulnerability.

Detached Point of View (part): I did my job. That child is on its own now. I need to take care of myself and create my own life.
This 'part' of us tends to detach ourselves for our own safety--even though we may be DEEPLY concerned for our child--in fact our sense of vulnerability actually drives the need for detachment.

Parenting from 'The Middle Zone' (Self-led parenting) looks more like this:
* I have empathy for my child, but allow that child to have his/her own path in life, without prescribing what that path should look like.
* I am available to assist my child, on a consultant basis where I give support and sometimes help--but under the guidance of my child's natural growth, not from some internal 'picture' I have of who my child should be like.
* I sometimes act as the teacher of my child, but in a way that allows my child to make every low-cost mistake possible, while providing 'protection', as possible, to protect him or her from very high-cost mistakes.
* I have the flexibility to lean toward my child (more empathy), and also to lean away from my child (less empathy)--but I do so with Wisdom for what the situation calls for.
* I never let my child's needs take precedence over my own responsibility to 'put my own mask on first' and live my own life--knowing that will give my child the greatest freedom to live his or her life.
* I look at my child through eyes of love and a sense of wonder for the gift that they are, rather than through eyes of fear or worry.
* I embrace the vulnerability that I feel in this relationship, knowing that real love can feel quite vulnerable. But that I am responsible to my sense of vulnerability, and don't expect my child to fix that for me.

03/10/2021

02/21/2021

When you are bothered by something, it can help to get a handle on the specifics:

06/18/2020

Me: Hello God.
God: Hello...
Me: I'm falling apart. Can you put me back together?
God: I'd rather not.
Me: Why?
God: Because you're not a puzzle.
Me: What about all the pieces of my life that fall to the ground?
God: Leave them there for a while. They fell for a reason. Let them be there for a while and then decide if you need to get any of those pieces back.
Me: You don't understand! I'm breaking up!
God: No, you don't understand. You're transcending, evolving. What you feel are growing pains. You're getting rid of the things and people in your life that are holding you back. The pieces are not falling down. The pieces are putting in place. Relax. Take a deep breath and let those things you no longer need fall down. Stop clinging to pieces that are no longer for you. Let them fall. Let them go.
Me: Once I start doing that, what will I have left?
God: Only the best pieces of yours.
Me: I'm afraid to change.
God: I keep telling you: YOU'RE NOT CHANGING! YOU'RE BECOMING!
Me: Becoming, Who?
God: Becoming who I created you to be! A person of light, love, charity, hope, courage, joy, mercy, grace and compassion. I made you for so much more than those shallow pieces you decided to adorn yourself with and that you cling to with so much greed and fear. Let those things fall off you. I love you! Don't change! Become! Don't change! Become! Become who I want you to be, who I created. I'm gonna keep telling you this until you remember.
Me: There goes another piece.
God: Yes. Let it be like this.
Me: So... I'm not broken?
God: No, but you're breaking the darkness, like dawn. It's a new day. Become!! Become who you really are!!"

04/05/2020

Free resources for coping with coronavirus:
echowentz@gmail.com&utm_campaign=Coronavirus+Resources" rel="ugc" target="_blank">https://www.guilford.com/covid-resources?utm_source=bm23&utm_medium=email&utm_term=free+resources&utm_content=echowentz@gmail.com&utm_campaign=Coronavirus+Resources

Guilford Press (Guilford Publications) is a publisher of professional and self-help books, as well as journals, newsletters, and DVDs in psychology and psychiatry, mental health, education and literacy, research methods, geography, and other fields.

11/22/2019

Listen to this video and see if you cannot feel the truth of it in your very cells, or in your body. You are more than you imagine yourself to be. Find yourself.

https://youtu.be/bYgl_z05bqY

You are the miracle. Each of your cells do over 6 trillion tasks per second. The human body is amazing. You heart will beat 300 million times. Love now. Love...

11/04/2019

11/04/2019

Infographic on the Letting Go process from my friend Mark Anderson...based on the teachings of Michael Singer:

11/04/2019