Tailwinds Ranch Rest and Recovery Center

12/31/2025

I don’t know about you, but some years trauma has its own chair at the holiday table. It’s there while wrapping presents, shopping (or avoiding shopping), and it flies us into fight-or-flight or passive SI when those feelings of “not good enough” or “I f*ed up again” pop up. It makes us edgy and irritable, which can come across to the family and friends as unappreciative…”No, sorry, I’m just trying to survive (my own internal state). But I do love the gift, and I’m sorry I don’t have many gifts for everyone. I tried.”

A myth in mental health for trauma is that one must attend counseling weekly for years. Wrong. Treatment is based on your treatment goals; once they are met, you're good to go. EMDR and other modalities can help, even in short-duration (Brief Therapy) or intensive formats, with the right trauma-informed therapist. Our job together clinically is done once the trauma symptoms stop interfering with functioning and improvements are maintained. Then we talk about tune-ups.

A tune-up with a therapist that you have worked with before can expedite stabilization because the therapeutic relationship is already there, like that connection with a good friend you don’t talk to for years. And when you do talk, it’s like no time has passed. Tune-ups are available when stressors arise. Reach out, and we will get you in.

At Tailwinds, we offer two options for veterans, active duty, and first responders: 1) Six sessions of 60-90 minute clinical therapy of EMDR, Exposure-based therapy, and or Moral Injury work on scholarship. 2) Can’t commit to regular sessions for a bit, but are ready to tackle a major trauma? Try the Intensive formats: 2.5-4-hour sessions at $300 (sliding scale and scholarships available). Get your life back; the trauma has been directing it for too long.

Need programs that take insurance or something closer to home? We have a resource list available of clinicians, groups, and nonprofits that support veteran and first responder mental health.

12/02/2025

This year, we are so thankful for donors such as Ferguson, The Treasure Shop NSN, multiple private donors, volunteers, and monthly donors who have helped us continue our mission in 2025. We truly could not do this without your generosity!
We have provided trauma counseling services for 54 clients this year, and presented on moral injury, MST, and PTSD at seven conferences/ meetings. Our goal has always been to "do as much as we can for as long as we can." Thank you in advance if you find it in your heart to support TWR as we head into another year of services! www.TailwindsRanch.org

11/20/2025

Thoughts on perspective.
I was driving in town the other day, passing a breakfast restaurant that sits about 20 feet off the road. There was a child about four years old playing by themselves on the sidewalk in front of the restaurant, just at the corner of the building. I was thinking, “Does anyone know he is there? That’s too close to the road. Where are his parents?!” As a grandmother of littles that are speedier than a spooked horse and about as unpredictable, I kept an eye on him with growing concern. As traffic moved forward, the restaurant's corner came into view. There was outdoor seating, and about a foot from the happily stone tossing child was a laughing family enjoying time outside, and an attentive parent seated towards the little one playing. Perspective matters.
The idea of perspective has been rattling around in my brain lately. How even something very familiar to us can look different when approached from a different angle or in different lighting. How we make assumptions and form beliefs from what we see or hear. Are we open to corrective information? I could stay as Judgy Judy regarding the parents alleged inattentiveness, build that argument for how dangerous it was, and decide not to acknowledge the parents' obvious attentiveness, and that my assumptions were wrong. Or I could integrate the new information and let it go with no residual angst. I changed my view by a few feet, and the picture changed; the danger cues and subsequent safety cues changed.
In today's society of social media, and even professional social sites, others give you the angle from which to see them. Look at the Instagram vs reality photos where it looks like someone is living their best life….but then the fitness influencer dies from drugs, the home decorator's minimalist pic shows the rest of the room accidently, and there are signs they struggle with hoarding. More information is added when we zoom out.
Interestingly, we do this to ourselves, too. We choose the perspective we see ourselves, our actions, and the actions of others towards us. We make assumptions and form beliefs about these actions based on our history or even our mood. But have we looked around the corner? Or are we looking at it from a narrow scope? Being curious, ask yourself what else may be going on? What don’t I see? And will expanding the view foster more empathetic feelings toward others and the self?
We can unconsciously choose our perspective and the rigidity of our beliefs, and we can feel stuck. For example, a professional is in decision paralysis regarding certain aspects of their business because of worry about others' potential negative assumptions. But nothing changes if nothing changes. Flipping the script and looking at it from another perspective- would they be upset or judgmental that company B restructured for sustainability? Not at all. They would respect them for it. Looking at this idea within a relationship- If I believe I must be perfect to be loved (which I am the epitome of imperfect!), is the same true if I flip the script? Do they need to be perfect for me to love them? Absolutely not. If the argument doesn’t hold weight flipped, then it shouldn’t be true in the original form. What about after a project fails, or a slip in recovery? And the thought that “I am a failure.” comes up. Flip the script, add perspective- Would you think your friend, Joe, is a complete failure because of this? Or would you think, that’s a bummer, but good for him that he keeps trying. When we give up is when we fail.
So why is a trauma counselor posting this? Adding tools to your toolbox. Flip the script. Add perspective, take a panorama, zoom out. Be curious, what don’t you see?

11/11/2025

Happy Veteran's Day to all those who served, and to the families that supported them.

11/08/2025

Let’s talk about data —in this case, the information we glean from surveys that reflect what is happening in an environment. I presented on military sexual trauma (MST) and pulled up the most recent data from the DoD Office of People Analytics 2023 Workplace and Gender Relations Survey of Military Members. It’s not pretty.
The anonymous survey asks about unreported and reported MST incidents in fiscal year 2023. 6.8% of female military members, and 1.3% of male service members identified as having an incident of MST in 2023. So, over five times as many females as males, correct?
How data is presented can skew one's assumption of the number of incidents. It can make a person feel alone, like an anomaly, that no one will understand, and that they need to hide it.
Let’s look at the actual 2023 survey numbers: 15,201 female and 13,860 male military members identified as having experienced an MST incident. That's a huge number that hasn't been adequately recognized. And vastly under investigated and under treated, for both males and females.
If you or someone you know is struggling, reach out. You are not alone. Confidential, free trauma counseling with a therapist who specializes in PTSD, male and female MST, and Moral Injury. Your records stay here.
https://www.sapr.mil/Portals/156/FY23_Annual_Report.pdf

10/11/2025

Sometimes the trails we walk are inside. , , ,

09/26/2025

Huge shoutout and heartfelt thanks to The Treasure Shop Norfolk for their incredible generosity, sponsoring over 200 mental health sessions with a $10,000 donation!
As a military thrift and consignment shop, The Treasure Shop provides affordable uniforms, clothing, and more to our local military community. And they’ve extended that same spirit of service by supporting Tailwinds Ranch's military and veteran mental health program.
Their donations make a meaningful difference in our mission, and we are so grateful for their support!

07/10/2025

Self Care- Hiked 22 miles in three days…. Small steps, slow down, notice the small gains, and for me and my clients, walk. Last month, I found myself operating outside of my window of tolerance. I was irritable, checked out, impatient, unmotivated, overwhelmed, and at times, dissociated. I knew that this was not sustainable. When we are outside of our window of tolerance (WoT), our behaviors and emotions affect those around us, both at home and at work. It’s more arguments with our partner, finding ourselves more reactive with family, avoiding situations, dissociation (checking out/numbing), not sleeping well or sleeping too much, and getting the “F*$k it's!”
A bit like a PTSD reaction- my conceptualization is that when outside the WoT, the amygdala gets exhausted from alarms and decides everything is an alarm, because it doesn’t get a regroup break (Think of the movie Inside Out. My visual is of one of the characters sitting at the controls exhausted, head down, just continually hitting the alarm button). Self-care means finding your way back into the window of tolerance, opening space for daily stressors not to throw you over the edge. It’s not bubble baths and reading a book for me, not when I’m this far out of my window. Those things can help me maintain when I’m back in… But for now, it’s losing myself in nature, hiking as meditation, unplugging from electronics, work, and expectations, and regrouping. It’s hiking for miles and letting life stressors be washed away with sunlight, trees, and rock scrambles. It’s realizing that there are still 2.5 miles to hike up to get out of the Grand Canyon, and my legs are so tired, it’s hot at 7 am already, and there is no choice but to keep walking. It’s learning tricks from my hiking partner, being teachable! “Slow down, small steps, relax your muscles, feel the softness of your muscles as you take each step.” THIS! The anxiety stopped. It felt like therapy: slow down, notice the small gains, relax to give yourself momentum…sounds counterintuitive. Still, with each step, I gained energy and confidence, lost the anxiety, and left behind the stressors that I had been carrying. Small steps, relax, develop realistic and doable plans, take time, build in breaks to be more present.
Why did I push to 22 miles? IYKYK. The 22 miles was a statement, a recognition of veterans and suicidal ideation and attempts. How does one get to that point? We work with this every day here. And what I find is that many times it starts with being outside of our Window of Tolerance, the stress/activation level where one functions well and can handle stressors. Living outside of that zone for long periods can kick in a sense of wanting the feeling to end, to escape, feeling like it will never end. It will, with work. Small steps, relax, slow down, notice the small gains, and for me and my clients (who know walking Flash/EMDR for relaxation), walk.

07/05/2025

There is no uncertainty in the past. Only the present and the future. It’s difficult today to imagine that our past both individually and collectively were ever uncertain. It’s hard to remember the choices that we made then, the difficulties, the setbacks, the decisions and the scars that paved the way for who we are today. Independence Day, is a great day to reflect on those difficulties.

George Washington did not receive the written Declaration of Independence until July 9, 1776. On the morning of July 9th, 1776 the army was generally low on morale, low on supplies, and completely uncertain of its future. Defeats in Canada late in 1775 and despite success in driving the British from Boston in March 1776, Washington and the men in his army understood that the British with thousands more troops who had refreshed and recovered in Canada, would make an attempt on New York soon.

And while talk of independence was strong in the Colonies, many people were divided. Many wanted to remain British and under the King. When the Declaration finally arrived in Washington’s hands in New York, he knew it could inspire his troops and help the cause of Liberty. On the evening of July 9,1776 around 6:00 pm Washington assembled his soldiers on the Common in NYC. The Declaration was read aloud to the troops. It was among the first time these words were ever heard. Nothing in their past, in their setbacks had really prepared them for these words that would change the world and pave the way for our Constitution.

Our point is this. Even after the reading, there was still the same amount of uncertainty in the outcome that the army would face and that the Colonies would face. But this was the turning point in seeing the events of Boston, the failures of Canada in a new light. They, really we, were now ready to forge a future that was totally different than what they could have imagined the year before. But that took great risk, hard difficult work and a commitment to a cause bigger than themselves for a chance at a better life.

At Tailwinds Ranch, remembering those choices and difficulties helps to remind us that we can overcome things that seem unsurmountable. We reflect on our past decisions and are molded into strong, resilient men and women who face the setbacks of today, reflect on the uncertainty of tomorrow, but know that with great risk, hard difficult work and a commitment to a cause, each of us can find that new and better future.

05/26/2025

For those who didn't come home, and for those who came home but carried unseen scars that never healed. Today, we pause to reflect, express gratitude, and remember those who died defending our freedoms.

05/25/2025

If you are looking for a project to keep busy on Memorial Day, we will be building fences. Memorial Day can be rough. We are here if you'd like to come out and help!

Send a message to learn more