iCan House

08/12/2025

iCan House offers social skills clubs for neurodivergent individuals. We currently have openings in our teenage boys' Real World Connections group for ages 14-17. No diagnosis required to participate. Group meets in person on Tuesdays at 4:30 pm. Contact our admissions specialist to learn more at info@icanhouse.org or 336-723-0050

08/04/2025

The Art of Talking with Children - meanjngful, reasonable, and doable choices while interacting wuth children.

If you’re a parent, teacher, auntie, big sibling, or caregiver of any kind, then you know this truth well: talking to children isn’t always easy.

There are days when you're met with endless questions—and others with stone-cold silence. Sometimes you're trying to guide, other times you're trying not to explode. You want to connect. You want to nurture. But often, you’re just trying to survive the moment. And in those moments, the pressure to "say the right thing" can feel overwhelming.

That's why The Art of Talking with Children by Rebecca Rolland is such a gift.

Rebecca Rolland is a speech pathologist, lecturer at Harvard, and most importantly—a mom. She understands that real conversations with children aren’t always perfect or pretty, but they can be powerful. Through what she calls “rich talk,” she gives us tools to build children’s resilience, creativity, emotional intelligence, and confidence—just by how we talk to them.

Here are 6 empowering insights from this life-changing book:

1. "Rich Talk" Builds Real Connection
Rolland introduces the idea of "rich talk"—open-ended, meaningful conversations that go beyond instructions and corrections. Rich talk isn't about fixing or teaching in every moment. It's about listening, wondering, and connecting. It invites the child’s inner world to the table.

💡 Instead of asking, “How was school?” try: “What was the most unexpected thing that happened today?”

Rich talk helps children feel seen and heard, and over time, helps them become better thinkers, communicators, and decision-makers.

2. Emotions Are Not Problems to Solve
Too often, we jump into “fix-it” mode when kids are upset. But Rolland teaches that emotions are not fires to be extinguished—they're signals to be explored. Children need space to feel without being rushed out of their feelings.

💡 Instead of saying, “Don’t cry,” say: “I see you're feeling something big right now. Want to talk about it or just sit together for a while?”

This validation helps children learn to regulate themselves rather than suppress or fear their emotions.

3. Ask, Don’t Assume
We often assume we know what a child is thinking or feeling. But Rolland encourages us to get curious instead of concluding. Children may surprise us with their insights if we give them the chance to express themselves authentically.

💡 “What do you think is going on here?” or “What do you think we should do about that?”

These kinds of questions foster critical thinking, creativity, and trust.

4. Conversation Is a Tool for Resilience
When children experience failure, change, or disappointment, the conversations we have with them can either shut them down or build them up. Rich talk in tough moments helps children develop inner strength.

💡 Instead of minimizing their struggle, try: “This sounds really hard. Want to talk about what feels worst right now?”

Naming emotions, reflecting on experiences, and exploring coping tools together builds lasting emotional resilience.

5. Don’t Fear the “Hard Conversations”
Whether it's grief, race, bullying, divorce, or identity—Rolland says children are often more ready for hard topics than we think. Silence doesn't protect them. Guided, thoughtful conversation does. And these moments, when approached with honesty and warmth, can become turning points in your relationship.

💡 “What have you heard about this? What do you think?” opens space for deeper and safer dialogue.

Your presence in difficult conversations matters more than having the perfect words.

6. Everyday Moments Are Teaching Moments
The most powerful conversations don’t always happen during deep, scheduled chats—they often show up in the in-between: driving to school, brushing teeth, walking the dog. Rolland shows how we can use those micro-moments to foster curiosity, values, and connection without pressure or overthinking.

💡 “What do you think that squirrel was thinking?” can be just as rich as, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

When you’re present and engaged, even small talk can shape a child’s inner world.

The Art of Talking with Children reminded me that I don’t need to have all the answers. I just need to show up, stay curious, and listen deeply. Because when children feel heard—not corrected, rushed, or dismissed—they rise. They reflect. They bloom. And so do we.

If you care for children in any capacity, this book is your invitation to slow down, speak differently, and experience the quiet magic of connection, one rich conversation at a time.

BOOK: https://amzn.to/4oic5zW
Enjoy the audiobook with a membership trial using the same link.

05/06/2025

More about Intrinsic ADHD traits and Symptoms of Distress.
Trauma Geek - Janae Elisabeth

04/24/2025

04/22/2025

Echolalia is more than repetetive and self-soothing. It's a form of communication. Think about it and listen differently.

04/13/2025

Abby had an outburst at the bowling alley.
After the descalation, her mom talks through her behaviors, triggers, and emotions.
Notice that her mom remains calm reminding her that mom wants to understand.
She is helping Abby connect the dots and learn emotional regulation skills.
Abby is in spectrum ob Netflix.

03/18/2025

Parents- you are not alone.
Get the Kleenex and please watch or listen to this open letter to parents of neurodivergent children.

03/17/2025

We must UNLEARN our stereotypes and what we thought we knew.

This book will transform the way you view autism and open your eyes to relationships you have eith many people.

I picked up Devon Price's "Unmasking Autism" on a whim, not because I suspected I was autistic or had any particular connection to autism. If you had asked me to describe autism before reading this book, I would have recited the narrow stereotypes we see in media—perhaps someone with obvious social difficulties or specialized interests. I couldn't have been more wrong, or more unprepared for how this book would transform my understanding not just of autism, but of several relationships in my life.

From the first chapter, Price dismantles these limited conceptions, revealing how autism manifests in countless ways that go unrecognized because they don't fit the narrow clinical model. I found myself stopping repeatedly, a chill running down my spine, as I recognized behaviors in people I care about—and sometimes in myself—that I had always explained away as quirks, sensitivities, or personality traits.

There was my colleague who always wears noise-canceling headphones in the office and needs detailed agendas before meetings—whom I'd labeled as "particular" but now recognized might be managing sensory sensitivities. There was my friend who can talk for hours about architectural history with encyclopedic precision but seems to shut down at parties—whom I'd thought of as just "introverted with specific interests." And there was my cousin who's built elaborate systems to manage daily tasks that seem simple to others, whom I'd always admired for being "so organized" without considering why such systems might be necessary for her.

The most eye-opening aspect of Price's book is the concept of "masking"—the exhausting performance many autistic people maintain to appear neurotypical. I had never considered how much energy these people in my life might be expending to meet social expectations, to make eye contact when it feels unnatural, to suppress self-soothing movements, to force themselves into sensory environments that cause genuine pain.

I remember texting my cousin halfway through the book, awkwardly asking if she'd ever considered she might be autistic. Her response floored me: "I was diagnosed three years ago, but I don't tell many people because they treat me differently." This person I'd known my entire life had been carrying this significant part of her identity alone, fearing the very change in perception I was now experiencing.

Reading Price's book initiated what I can only describe as an unlearning process. I began to question my assumptions about "normal" behavior and recognize how often I'd interpreted differences through a neurotypical lens. Why did I consider it "weird" when someone needed to leave a loud restaurant? Why did I feel uncomfortable when someone didn't make eye contact during conversation? Why did I judge repeated behaviors as "odd" rather than potentially comforting?

Price doesn't just illuminate autism; the book challenges the fundamental ways we judge human behavior and worth. I found myself questioning meritocratic systems I'd taken for granted, reconsidering workplace practices I'd never questioned, and examining my own discomfort with behaviors that simply diverge from majority norms.

But Most importantly, I've learned to ask different questions. Instead of "Why can't they just adapt?" I now ask, "How might we create spaces where adaptation isn't constantly required of certain minds?" Instead of viewing differences as deficits, I'm learning to recognize the unique strengths and perspectives that neurological diversity brings.

This book found me with no particular connection to autism and left me with a profound awareness of how it touches my life in countless ways. For anyone who has ever dismissed autism as something that doesn't relate to their life, I can only say: you might be surprised by what—and who—you recognize in these pages.

BOOK: https://amzn.to/4i9Em8q