01/25/2016
Sometimes people want to know; "Why is my therapist so quiet sometimes?" If the therapist 'sits' in silence it may be that he or she is using a therapeutic silence. A tool to make the client uncomfortable and encourage the client to talk. People don't like silence and will seek to fill it at times. Therapists, some are better than others, learn to use silence, to encourage clients to continue talking when they have stalled.
Young, inexperienced or uncomfortable therapists may try to 'rescue' clients by 'filling in' words, or feelings or suggestions when a client falls silent to avoid the discomfort.
It's a delicate balancing act. Waiting out enough time to help a client find the energy to say something he or she is struggling with, versus when to rescue and how.
Some therapists will be livid that I have 'revealed' this information. But I don't believe that therapy is 'magic' we don't use 'tricks'. We have techniques. I should be able to explain what I do and how it's used. Now I can't always say why this was right just then or how. A lot of it, after 30 years, is based on unconscious cues, and some of it might be wrong.
Correct me when I am wrong. "I'm feeling awarkward here" "I don't know what else you want me to say" "Help me out" If I'm a decent therapist I will respond to your request in a way that is helpful and productive to you.
