Heidi Koss, MA, LMHC

Heidi Koss, MA, LMHC Counseling & training for perinatal mental health, birth trauma, & parenting support. Trauma informed

About Heidi: I specialize in treating birth trauma, pregnancy and postpartum mood disorders, miscarriage, infant loss and parenting issues. I also offer parenting support for those with special needs children. I have worked closely with Postpartum Support International www.postpartum.net and Perinatal Support of WA www.perinatalsupport.org for over 20 years. I also offer professional consultation and training for health care providers regarding best treatment practices working with perinatal mood disorders.

THIS ⬇️
01/23/2026

THIS ⬇️

This short video perfectly summarizes the psyche of ICE agents so we can figure out ways to navigate….
01/21/2026

This short video perfectly summarizes the psyche of ICE agents so we can figure out ways to navigate….

01/01/2026
12/31/2025

She Proved Women’s Brains Change During Motherhood, Permanently.
They told her motherhood was instinct.
Hormones.
Emotion.

Something soft. Temporary. Something you went back from once the baby slept through the night.

Then she put mothers in an MRI machine—and proved something far more radical.

Motherhood doesn’t just change your life.
It rewires your brain.

Permanently.

Her name is Pilyoung Kim, and her work changed how science understands motherhood—not as a phase, but as a neurological transformation on par with adolescence.

For most of modern medical history, the maternal brain was treated as an afterthought. Pregnancy research focused on the fetus. Postpartum research focused on pathology—depression, anxiety, breakdown. Motherhood itself was framed as something women handled, not something their brains actively adapted to.

Pilyoung Kim suspected that assumption was wrong.

She noticed a contradiction that wouldn’t let go.

Mothers routinely perform feats of attention, endurance, emotional regulation, threat detection, and multitasking that would overwhelm most people. They read micro-expressions. They wake instantly to subtle sounds. They anticipate needs before they’re expressed.

Yet culturally, motherhood was described as cognitive decline. “Mom brain.” Fog. Forgetfulness. Loss.

Kim asked a different question.

What if the maternal brain isn’t deteriorating—
what if it’s specializing?

Using high-resolution neuroimaging, she began studying women before pregnancy, during pregnancy, and after childbirth. What she found stunned even seasoned neuroscientists.

The brain didn’t just change.

It reorganized.

Regions associated with emotional processing, empathy, motivation, threat detection, and executive function showed measurable structural and functional shifts. Gray matter volume changed. Neural networks strengthened. Sensitivity to social cues increased.

This wasn’t damage.

It was adaptation.

Just as adolescent brains rewire for independence, maternal brains rewire for caregiving. The changes weren’t random. They were targeted. Purposeful. Evolutionary.

Most striking of all?

These changes persisted.

Years later, mothers’ brains still showed patterns distinct from women who had never given birth. The maternal brain did not “snap back.” There was no reset button.

Motherhood left a lasting neurological signature.

This explained something millions of women had felt but couldn’t articulate.

Why they sensed danger before it appeared.
Why they could hold an entire household’s emotional state in mind.
Why they felt both more vulnerable and more powerful than ever before.

It also explained why early motherhood feels so overwhelming.

A brain undergoing structural reorganization is not broken—it’s busy.

Imagine learning a new language while running a marathon while never sleeping fully while being responsible for another human’s survival.

That’s not weakness.

That’s neuroplasticity under pressure.

Kim’s research reframed postpartum struggle in a way many women had never been offered.

You are not failing to cope.
Your brain is actively remodeling itself for care.

The awe in this discovery is quiet but profound.

Motherhood is one of the few experiences that alters the adult brain at a structural level. Not temporarily. Not symbolically.

Physically.

And yet society treats it as invisible labor. Expected. Unremarkable. Something women should endure gracefully without recognition.

Science now tells a different story.

The maternal brain is more attuned, not less.
More responsive, not diminished.
More complex, not compromised.

That doesn’t mean motherhood is easy.
It means it is serious.

It deserves respect—not platitudes.

Dr. Pilyoung Kim didn’t romanticize motherhood. She measured it. And what she found replaced shame with pride.

The fog? A side effect of reorganization.
The intensity? A recalibrated threat system.
The emotional depth? Expanded neural connectivity.

Nothing about this is accidental.

Motherhood leaves a mark because it matters.

And once you see it that way, something shifts.

Exhaustion becomes evidence of work being done.
Sensitivity becomes skill.
Change becomes achievement.

The maternal brain is not a loss of self.

It is an expansion.

One that science finally learned to recognize.

If you value this work and would like to support the time, research, and care it takes to preserve and share women’s history, you can Buy Me a Coffee. Every contribution helps keep these stories alive and accessible, told with respect and truth.
Thank you for being here.
Thank you for remembering.
And thank you for honoring the women who came before us—and the legacy they continue to build.

https://buymeacoffee.com/ancientpathfb

12/31/2025

Earlier this year, three babies were born at Ste. Thérèse Hospital. Triplets.

Their mother died shortly after giving birth. In Haiti, women face a 1 in 8 lifetime risk of dying during the childbearing years, and when a mother dies, her newborns are far more likely to die as well.

Because the babies were fragile and needed care, they were referred to Midwives for Haiti. Their grandmother arrived carrying three newborns, her grief still heavy. At home, the babies’ father was caring for two other young children, suddenly responsible for a family changed forever.

For weeks, the triplets and their grandmother stayed with us. Our team monitored their health, arranged pediatric visits, and provided formula, nutritious food, and a safe place to rest. We gave their grandmother space to grieve while learning how to care for three newborns at once.

At the same time, we supported the rest of the family. We provided food to the father and children at home so no one was left without care. Compassion did not stop at one doorway.

This is what care looks like when systems are connected. Public hospitals, community midwives, families, and compassion working together. This is what your support makes possible.

As we enter the final hours of 2025, our year end campaign, Together We Deliver, ends tomorrow, December 31 at midnight. We are still $23,500 short of our goal.

These funds keep clinics open, sustain our maternal waiting home, and support safe care for women across Haiti.

If you are able, please give today. If you can stretch a little further before the year ends, your generosity will make a real difference.

To donate: https://midwivesforhaiti.org/donate-now/

P.S. After three weeks of care, the triplets were able to go home. They are gaining weight and doing well. Thank you for making that possible.

12/25/2025

As we head into another Holiday which relies almost entirely on the labor of women, we must stop to consider that this makes a LOT of sense.

It used to be that only BOYS got the ADHD diagnosis, but they supposedly grew out of it by their mid to late 20's.

You know....around the time they MARRIED.

So let's set the record straight:

All genders are susceptible to ADHD.

Girls/Women/AFAB and gender non conforming folks are STILL under-diagnosed.

Nobody grows entirely out of ADHD, though their working memory may improve,
physical fidgeting may turn to mental restlessness,
and life experience may reduce their choice paralysis.

Also women do TOO MUCH LABOR.

12/10/2025

The 2025 March of Dimes Report Card highlights the collective factors that contribute to maternal and infant mortality and morbidity in the United States (US), Washington, DC, and Puerto Rico.

We as a collective are not doing well. Ponder these villains of mental health, and it’s no wonder so many are struggling...
10/08/2025

We as a collective are not doing well. Ponder these villains of mental health, and it’s no wonder so many are struggling now:

Mental Health Villains are systemic cultural assumptions about mental health that sabotage our mental health. I've identified 9 mental health villains that I want to teach about: individualism, capitalism, saviorism, neuronormativity, sanism, behaviorism, mind-body dualism, materialism, and scientism.

This isn't a complete list of all of the cultural assumptions that impact mental health - There are so many more villains of mental health that interact with these!

If you want to explore this topic with me, join me in Nov-Dec for a 6 week group called Shifting Blame: The Real Mental Health Villains. I'll be covering definitions, examples, and ways to resist these 9 cultural assumptions that sabotage our mental health.

Just like the list of logical fallacies is something you can use to filter information, this list of 9 mental health villains is something you can use to spot common cultural myths anywhere they pop up.

This is for cycle-breakers, cult survivors, and neurodivergent seekers who came to the system for help but got retraumatized. This is for professionals, educators, and parents, and anyone who wants to create spaces for unblaming and unshaming.

This is a top-down process of psychoeducation that gently invites you into a bottom-up process of transformation in your own space and time outside of the class.

You can expect a mix of information sharing and facilitated inquiry with writing prompts and reflection questions. To avoid re-traumatization, this is not a space to share trauma stories and we will not have time for unstructured discussion.

Details here: https://traumageek.thinkific.com/courses/healing-self-blame

09/23/2025

ACOG reaffirms the safety and benefits of acetaminophen use during pregnancy.
More than two decades of research have found no causal link between acetaminophen use during pregnancy and autism, ADHD, or intellectual disability in children. Acetaminophen continues to be an important and safe option for managing pain and fever in pregnancy—conditions that can pose serious risks to pregnant patients and their fetuses if left untreated. Learn more about acetaminophen use during pregnancy: https://bit.ly/4mqIzWr

Keep yourself approachable as a parent - this is a beautiful example how:
09/03/2025

Keep yourself approachable as a parent - this is a beautiful example how:

08/13/2025

💛 Need help for your mental health during pregnancy, postpartum, or after loss? You're not alone — and support is just a call or text away.

Here are three trusted helplines to guide you based on your needs:

📞 PSI HelpLine – Call or text 1-800-944-4773 (4PPD)
• Not a crisis line — it's a safe and confidential place to get support, information, and resources
• Staffed by trained volunteers who return messages within a few hours during business hours
• Available in English and Spanish
• For pregnant, postpartum, and post-loss individuals and families worldwide

📞 National Maternal Mental Health Hotline – 1-833-TLC-MAMA (1-833-852-6262)
• For 24/7 support from licensed counselors
• Free and confidential
• Serving pregnant and postpartum individuals in the U.S.
• Offers real-time support and warm handoffs to services in your area

📞 988 Su***de & Crisis Lifeline – Dial 988
• For anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts or a mental health crisis
• Free, confidential, and available 24/7
• Connects you with trained crisis counselors, with access to maternal mental health resources when needed

👉 Visit: postpartum.net/get-help

✨ You are not alone. You are not to blame. With help, you will be well.

06/25/2025

This!

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Woodinville, WA

Opening Hours

Monday 9am - 4pm
Tuesday 9am - 4pm
Wednesday 9am - 7pm
Thursday 9am - 4pm
Friday 9am - 12pm

Telephone

+14258923000

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