Menije Boduryan, Psy.D.

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Woodland Hills, CA
Menije Boduryan, Psy.D.

I give tips on how high-achieving women can overcome perfectionism
📍Woodland Hills, CA (psy26351)

Perfectionism University - A place where you can unlearn Perfectionism and start your journey of embracing imperfections and owning your enoughness.

03/10/2026

Your mind believes it’s keeping you safe by highlighting your flaws and shortcomings. It tells you that if you stay vigilant—constantly watching for mistakes—you can avoid disappointment or pain.

But what starts as protection often becomes harsh self-criticism.

“I’m not good enough.”
“I’m behind.”
“I don’t belong.”

These thoughts can feel automatic. Convincing. Almost factual.
But a thought being familiar doesn’t make it useful.
And being on high alert doesn’t actually give you control over everything.

Pause for a moment and ask yourself:
Would I speak to someone I love this way?

If the answer is no, that’s important. You don’t have to continue speaking to yourself in a way you wouldn’t offer to someone you care about.

The relationship you have with yourself is shaped by how you speak to yourself.

03/07/2026

Perfectionism is something you learned many, many years ago. For some of us, it started during our teenage years. For others, it began much earlier. It was a way to cope with change, uncertainty, anxiety, fear, and self-doubt.

When you begin to unlearn perfectionism as an adult, you often find yourself re-parenting your younger self—your inner child or teen. You try to give yourself the compassion you needed back then. The gentle, encouraging, loving guidance that helps your younger self walk through uncertainty, the unknown, anxiety, and self-doubt with compassion and confidence.

Re-parenting looks different for everyone, and there is no perfect pace. It is a work in progress.

But one helpful place to start is by reconnecting with your younger self through a photo. Seeing that younger version of you reminds you just how young, soft, and playful you once were.

From there, you can reflect on the thoughts you had back then—when perfectionism was loud and center stage.

And one belief at a time, you begin to rewrite the narrative. You replace those old stories with healthier, more compassionate beliefs that guide the way forward.

03/06/2026

Perfectionism is all about control to avoid feeling anxious, uncertain, or not good enough!

Unlearning Perfectionism isn't about letting go of control completely! It is about knowing what is and is not in your control. It is about seeking control over things that add more value to your life, not feeding the fear. It's about seeking control in an intentional, respectful way that considers you and those around you.

Here are some things that are in my control:
- learning from my mistakes
- doing things at my own pace and not rushing
- practicing self-compassion instead of self-criticism
- celebrating small wins
- letting go of the pressure to be perfect
- showing up as my authentic self

⁠

03/04/2026

What if all that you knew about Perfectionism was on a surface level? You know, thinking that Perfectionism is all about being Type A and doing things perfectly. And how you couldn't possibly have perfectionism because you don't have perfect results?

What if that's just the tip of the iceberg?

What if, underneath it all, Perfectionism is anxiety in disguise as ambition?
What if Perfectionism is all about fear of change and taking risk so it becomes all about staying in your comfort zone
What if underneath it all, Perfecitonism is all about fear of rejection, so you become a people pleaser and struggle with codependency.
What if Perfectionism makes decisions and taking actions so debilitating that you struggle with procrastination and indecisiveness?
What if Perfecitonism comes with such a harsh inner critic that you struggle with guilt and shame?

03/03/2026

Here are common messages many people with anxious perfectionism internalized growing up:

“You’re so smart—you should be doing better.”
“Why did you get a 95? What happened to the other 5 points?”
“Don’t embarrass yourself."
“What will people think?”
“You have so much potential—don’t waste it.”
“Mistakes aren’t acceptable.”
“You’re the responsible one."
“Be a good girl.” / “Be the strong one.”
“We expect a lot from you.”
“That’s not good enough—try again.”
“We don’t make mistakes in this family.”
“There’s no room for error.”
“You should know better.”
“That’s careless.”
“How could you let that happen?”
“Do it right the first time.”
“Failure is not an option.”
“You can’t mess this up.”

Often, it wasn’t just the words—it was the tone, the pressure, the approval that felt conditional.

Over time, those external voices can become your inner critic.

03/02/2026

Perfectionists are goal-oriented! They measure their progress by how far they have come, what they have accomplished, and how perfect the results are.

Learning to reduce perfectionism doesn't mean you'll lower your standards, become "lazy" or "unmotivated," or become directionless! These are some of the fear talk your Perfectionism is using to keep you stuck.

Here are some of my favorite ways to reduce Perfectionism:
1️⃣ Break down big projects into small steps: small steps may not seem like a big deal or impressive, but it is in the small steps that you can find yourself working towards your goal without burning out.

2️⃣ Let the first draft be messy: trying to do things perfectly right from the start is what gets you paralyzed. You get so down on yourself for having things so perfectly, you forget we all start messy and get better in time.

3️⃣ Take breaks to avoid burnout: Taking breaks doesn't mean you are avoiding your tasks or goals. Because when you recharge, you will have more clarity, energy, and motivation to keep going.

4️⃣ Prioritize based on values: Perfectionism is fear-driven, whether it is fear of rejection, fear of failure, or fear of missing out. A way to do the opposite action is to make decisions based on your values.

5️⃣ Avoid multitasking: Perfectionism is all about overdoing things. Single-tasking will help you be more grounded and, overall, have greater control and concentration over the task.

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03/01/2026

When will it feel like you’ve done enough?
When will you stop chasing?
When will self-care move to the top of the list instead of the bottom?

You keep telling yourself there’s more to do. More to accomplish. One more thing before you can pause.

But what if you’ve already done enough?

What if the pause doesn’t happen tomorrow, or at the end of the month—but right now?

It’s hard to admit you’re burned out. Especially when part of you still believes you’re not doing enough.

But maybe the truth is this:
You’re not exhausted because you haven’t done enough.
You’re exhausted because you have.

02/28/2026

Perfectionists take everything personally.

Because they struggle to accept their own flaws or shortcomings, they assume everything is their fault. And if it’s not? They’re convinced they could have done better.

This creates hyper-sensitivity. Overanalyzing. People-pleasing.
They’re constantly scanning the room asking, “How can I make everyone else happy?”

But underneath all of that striving is low self-worth. A belief that love and safety must be earned.

Here’s the shift:

Most people are at war with themselves — not with you.

When you truly understand that, something changes.

You stop contorting yourself to keep the peace.
You stop over-functioning to prevent disappointment.
You start taking responsibility for your behavior without absorbing blame that isn’t yours.

That’s self-respect.
That’s emotional maturity.
That’s freedom.

02/27/2026

Perfectionists are often over-doers.

Working, performing, producing—it becomes more than effort. It becomes identity.

Achievement becomes how you hide.
How you seek validation.
How you measure growth.
How you assign meaning to your life.

When productivity becomes proof of worth, slowing down can feel threatening.
Because if you’re not doing, who are you?

And that’s where the real work begins.

Address

21031 Ventura Boulevard, Suite 316
Woodland Hills, CA
91364

Telephone

+18185756148

Website

https://www.perfectionismuniversity.com/

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