04/09/2023
My child is autistic.
I have the child that doesn’t enjoy surprises.
Each time we go somewhere out to eat, I provide him with a list of where we are going, when we are going and some things he should expect. I even go over the menu to get an idea of what he can order and eat.
I have the child that can’t wait.
I usually go in first or call ahead, and we don’t bring him in until there’s a table ready. I have even asked to use the party room when it’s available for our family to be seated away from people if I think it might be too difficult for him. I also always order his food and drinks the moment I get there and ask for them to put a rush on it if they can.
I have the child who needs constant engagement with the things he enjoys.. in between, before and after dinner and dessert.
I always come prepared. Charged tablets, portable game systems, books, playdoh, a pen and a notebook. And even his favorite snacks. Whatever it takes to keep him happy and busy during our time there.
I have the child who struggles with sensory overload and differences.
Loud sounds and music, bright lights or the crowd, strange people and smells can all be too much. And sitting for long periods of time can be really hard for a child who is a sensory seeker and needs proprioceptive input. This means we always have his headphones and sunglasses just in case. We give him movement breaks (5 minute timed intervals) where he can stand up safely and even get the wiggles out. Sometimes it’s even a walk outside for a much needed break or hiding under the table for a bit so he can decompress.
I have the child who is a really picky eater and has food aversions.
He may not eat one bite of the food we ordered. He may pull it apart to inspect it. He may eat with his hands instead of utensils. He may not want to touch it at all because he doesn’t like the way it feels or looks. It’s ok. We don’t force him to eat. We let him decide. We are just happy he is there trying with us. It’s a big deal he’s there in the first place.
When you see a family like ours, there is no need to stare, point, give us dirty looks or say unkind things underneath your breath.
I understand that perhaps you don’t know that what you are looking at, is a special needs family out there just trying to be in the world, together like you.
So the next time you see a child standing on the seat of a booth, or hiding under one, know that it’s probably because they need to. And as long as they are safely doing it, it’s ok with us.
The next time you see a child with an iPad or a device, just know that it may literally be the only way a family can be there. It also may be used to communicate because not all children speak.
And the next time you see a child dancing in the aisle way, jumping or spinning in place next to their table, know it’s probably because they needed that movement. They really aren’t trying to disturb you I promise. They may even want to show you, give you a high five or a hug like my kiddo. Just know they may not know personal boundaries, they only see the good in everyone and want to be your friend.
And all of these things above…believe me when I say, our families our working on it, hard, everyday.
The best thing you can do is be kind, smile and wave. Ask questions. Most families like ours love them.
And how you respond to our children, is how yours will when we are out and when they experience differences at their school and on the playground.
Remember, we teach by the example we set for them.
See families like ours…we can’t mind spreading a little autism awareness everywhere we go.
Or we would go nowhere.
And our kids deserve to be in the world, just like yours.
🐦🐦🐦
