12/26/2025
KATY SAYS (Episode 6):
“Every three months, Brian marches me over to his magic machine and orders me to stand on it barefoot. First it announces my weight (which I promptly ignore). Then it flashes my body-fat percentage, body-water percentage, fat mass, fat-free mass…all of which I also ignore, because I value my joy.”
“Who knew my bare feet concealed so much information?”
“But here’s the real sorcery: this machine also computes my Metabolic Age. Now, for context, I weigh 160 pounds and I’m 78. I usually ignore both numbers because they have far too much power to ruin a perfectly good mood.”
“Ordinarily I’d never reveal these figures, but I need to set the scene:
Brian’s mighty, mysterious machine; that lovely box of electronics computed my Metabolic Age as being…drumroll… 41!”
“I know. I choked too!”
“Yes, it sounds way, way, way too good to be true—but who am I to question Brian’s 30 years of experience? So, I’m claiming that number. In fact, on my next birthday, I’m putting 42 candles on my cake, and anyone who doubts me gets no cake.”
