Social Butterfly Counseling

10/16/2025

Sometimes walking away isn’t pride — it’s self-respect.
If someone treats you like an option, let them. You don’t have to prove your worth to anyone who can’t see it.
Don’t give part-time people full-time places in your life. Protect your peace, know your value, and never settle for less than you deserve. ❤️

We are here for you
🤍

10/16/2025

Some helpful tips if you or someone you know is feeling abandoned, hurt or a sense of loss in close relationships.

Relationships are hard work and communication needs to go both ways. Step one is taking control over what you have control over…. YOURSELF ❤️

How to Have Healthy Boundaries- Especially when you feel resentment and loss.

1. Give Yourself Permission to Feel Everything

It’s okay to feel devastated, angry, or abandoned right now. Those emotions are real and valid.
Try to notice your feelings without judging them — even intense ones will pass.
Remind yourself: My feelings are big, but they are not facts.

2. Know What Safety Looks Like for You

When the people you love are pulling away, it can make you want to chase or cling — but safety comes from stability, not intensity.
Ask: What helps me feel calmer and more grounded?
That might mean setting limits on texting late at night, or giving yourself space before reacting when you feel hurt.

3. Communicate with Kind Clarity

If you’re trying to reconnect or maintain friendships, keep it gentle and honest:

“I’m going through a really hard time and I want to stay connected, but I’m also working on giving space where it’s needed.”
This helps you show care while respecting both your needs and theirs.

4. Respect Distance Without Interpreting It as Rejection

When people step back, it usually says more about their capacity than your worth.
Use grounding strategies — deep breathing, journaling, a short walk, or holding ice — to soothe the panic of abandonment before reacting.

5. Build a “Crisis Plan” for the Hardest Moments

When emotions spike, have a plan ready:

Step away before responding.
Text a therapist, crisis line, or safe friend who can listen without judgment.
Write down what you wish you could say — but don’t send it right away.

6. Rebuild Trust in Yourself

Right now, you might feel like everyone is leaving — but you’re still here.
Keep small promises to yourself (eat, rest, shower, journal). Every time you do, you prove that you can rely on you.

We are here for you
🤍

10/15/2025

Such a moral dilemma. The system of care is flawed and so challenging to navigate at times.

After a su***de attempt, doctors told the Benz-Bushlings their son needed residential mental health treatment. Their insurance said that level of care was “not medically necessary.”

10/11/2025

Key facts:

•Globally, one in seven 10-19-year-olds experiences a mental disorder, accounting for 15% of the global burden of disease in this age group.

•Depression, anxiety and behavioural disorders are among the leading causes of illness and disability among adolescents.

•Suicide is the third leading cause of death among those aged 15–29 years old.

•The consequences of failing to address adolescent mental health conditions extend to adulthood, impairing both physical and mental health and limiting opportunities to lead fulfilling lives as adults.

Adolescence (10-19 years) is a unique and formative time. Multiple physical, emotional and social changes, including exposure to poverty, abuse, or violence, can make adolescents vulnerable to mental health problems. Promoting psychological well-being and protecting adolescents from adverse experien...

10/09/2025

Autumn is such a magical season. Nature intervenes and provides us with symbols of how beautiful and necessary it is to let things go.
Letting go is uncomfortable, but when we learn to be comfortable with being uncomfortable that’s when magic occurs. Confidence increases, resiliency increases and fear & anxiety go down down down. Have the faith and knowledge to trust that with each season of life, the fruit of your labor along with the flowers and leaves will all will come back with even more abundance than you can imagine.

Happy autumn 🍂
Hope you enjoy the the magic of the season.


We are here for you.

10/01/2025

Our Social Butterfly Family is deeply committed to striving for excellence while being sensitive to the thoughts and feelings of others.

We work diligently to understand each individual and family that walks through our doors.
We attempt to peel away the layers of the root causes of anger, fear, anxiety & beyond.

You may be surprised to learn what recently came to light…. 6 has a deeply rooted fear of 7.

We strongly believe It all started when he realized that 7 8 9 but who knows.

We will keep collaborating with outside experts to learn more

We are here for you.
Laughter is good for the soul and your mental health.


🤍

09/26/2025

Spectacular perspective and reframing of perceptions.

What’s your takeaway?

We are here for you.
🤍

My son has been grounded for 7 days. He was caught by a Sheriffs deputy riding an e-bike without a helmet, which is illegal in our county, and against our house rules.

He has been without his phone and video games for 7 days. This has been incredibly hard for a 14 yr old. I mean, we all have some degree of addiction to our phones and this has been a really tough punishment for him.

Last night he was upset about how long he’s been grounded and he said, “You took away my phone. You took away everything!” I asked him to sit down and I told him a story.

A few weeks ago I was in an AA meeting and a man in there was talking about how he had lost his wife and his home and his job and his money due to his drinking. He had lost everything. Then, several months into his sobriety he realized he hadn’t “lost” anything, he had given it away. He gave away all the things he loved because he chose to drink and now he had to deal with those choices.

I said to my son, “I didn’t take away your phone, you gave it away, along with all of those other privileges when you made the choice that got you into trouble. You gave away the things you enjoy and it cost you. You can be upset. You can be angry, but you need to see that the choice you made is why those things are gone, not because I took them away. It’s all about perspective.

I continued to explain that we all make poor choices and decisions at times and the goal is to learn from them so we don’t repeat them. I told him I loved him and that I hoped he learned a lesson over the past week.

This is the raw side of parenting. The anger and angst they feel towards us when we are working to show them the path. Raising teenagers isn’t easy and sometimes it feels like you are screaming into a void. I’ll keep going because each day I “get” to be his Mom, and that is something I never want to give away.

09/25/2025

Rejection is one of the greatestgifts we can receive.

The next time you’re frustrated by someone else’s actions try implementing these helpful tips:

•Don’t dwell on negative emotions.
•Use the experience as motivation.
•Focus on what you can control.

In doing so, you’ll turn a negative into a positive, make emotions work for you, and experience positive results in the process.

We are here for you.

What do you do when things don't go your way? Take a lesson from 'Shark Tank' star Barbara Corcoran and her emotionally intelligent approach.

09/18/2025

I don’t know who needs to read this today, but . . .

When you feel like you’re the only one—
Or a horrible mom—
Or incapable of doing right by your kids—

Talk to another mom.

Make the first move to tell her about the dirty dishes in your sink or how you lost your cool with your kid this morning because he wouldn’t put pants on even after you asked 57 times.

Tell her sometimes you feel like you’re failing. Tell her you’re sure everyone else has it together, and you’re the only one bobbing up and down trying to keep your head above water.

Seriously.
Just talk to another mom.

I bet she’ll nod her head.
I bet she’ll say, “me too”.
She might even hug you in relief, because in that moment you helped her realize she’s not the only one. And she’s not a horrible mom. And she’s not incapable of doing right by her kids.

You’re both just moms doing a ridiculously hard job and loving your children with every breath.

Talk to another mom.
We're in this together,
after all.

Me too….

Ps…. This is an actual picture of my actual sink 🤍

09/16/2025

Our office has received countless calls from people experiencing concerns, fears and anxieties regarding images that children, families and adults have seen on line of the shooting of Charlie Kirk.
Our hearts are hurting for all impacted directly and indirectly by this act of violence.

I am also a mom and have had some really raw and vulnerable conversations this week as well.

Below is a very brief outline of what vicarious trauma can do to us.

Please feel free to DM me or emal me-
I am happy to help in anyway I can.
Sabrina@socialbutterflycounseling.com

Our Social Butterfly Family has a team of 12 clinicians and a board certified music therapist on staff with tremendous expertise in trauma, anxiety and child development. We work with children, families and adults.

Below is a very brief overview of how our bodies and minds react to the tragedy and traumatizing events that were recorded and posted in real time.

Fear and anxiety from vicarious trauma—such as watching graphic videos as we witnessed in real time this week, stem from your brain reacting as if the danger is happening to you directly.

Even though you’re not physically present, witnessing intense violence can overwhelm your nervous system, triggering emotional responses like:
• Fear: Your brain perceives a threat, activating a fight-or-flight response.
• Anxiety: You may feel on edge, hypervigilant, or unsafe, even in normal situations.
• Intrusive thoughts or images: These can replay the traumatic scene in your mind.
• Numbness or detachment: A way your mind tries to cope with the overload.

This reaction is common and real—especially with repeated exposure. It’s your brain trying to make sense of overwhelming input that it’s not built to process repeatedly or passively.

If this resonates, limiting exposure and seeking support can truly prove to be beneficial.

Remember you are not alone.
Help is all around us.
Please show yourself compassion and remember to pause and stop and think before you speak and act.
Our words matter.
🤍
We are here for you.

09/12/2025

Violence is never the answer. Yet here we are having incredibly challenging and heart breaking discussions with our children about gun violence and the assassination of someone deeply passionate about their views in a country that values freedom of speech.

Talking to kids about violent events, such as the assassination of a public figure like Charlie Kirk, requires sensitivity, honesty, and age-appropriate framing.
It’s also crucial to guide parents on managing kids’ exposure—especially on social media, where graphic content spreads fast.

•How to Talk to Kids (Age-Appropriate Guidance)

•Ages 3–6: Keep It Simple & Reassuring
• What to Say:
“Something scary happened to a person on the news. But you are safe, and the grown-ups around you are here to take care of you.”
• Avoid:
• Details of violence or names they don’t know
• Letting them overhear graphic news in the background
• Focus:
• Safety, security, and stability

•Ages 7–12: Be Honest, But Gentle
• What to Say:
“There was an attack on a person named Charlie Kirk, who is in the news a lot. Some people do violent things when they are very upset or confused. It’s not okay, and it’s very sad. Do you have any questions about it?”
• How to Handle Questions:
• Answer what they ask; don’t overexplain.
• Emphasize empathy, not fear.
• Assure them that these events are rare.
• Focus:
• Understanding right vs. wrong
• Encouraging critical thinking and emotional processing

•Ages 13+: Encourage Open, Reflective Conversations
• What to Say:
“You may have seen or heard about the assassination of Charlie Kirk. It’s disturbing, and it’s okay to feel shaken. These events can lead to strong opinions and emotions. How are you feeling about it?”
• Tips:
• Ask their perspective first—don’t lecture.
• Talk about political violence, media responsibility, and emotional regulation.
• Discuss the difference between disagreement and harm.

Some tips on Monitoring Social Media

1. Be Proactive, Not Just Reactive
• Advice:
“Instead of waiting for your child to stumble upon harmful content, have regular conversations about what they see online. Ask open-ended questions: ‘What have you seen lately that was upsetting or confusing?’”

2. Use Parental Controls Wisely and apply limits as needed- we strongly recommend that the smart phones and tablets get docked in an open family area like kitchen or living room and not in bedrooms through the night.

3. Explain Why You’re Monitoring
• What to Say:
“I want to make sure you’re not seeing things that are too graphic or upsetting. Your mind is still growing, and some images can stay with you in unhealthy ways.”

4. Encourage Digital Literacy
• Help kids:
• Recognize manipulated or sensational content
• Understand why people share graphic images


5. What to Do If a Child Has Seen Graphic Images
• Stay calm. Don’t punish them.
• Ask gently:
“What did you see? How did it make you feel?”
• Offer reassurance:
“It’s okay to be upset. That image is not something anyone should have to see.”
• Encourage expression through drawing, talking, or journaling and gently share your feelings to notmalize how upsetting it is for many of us.

Quick Summary for Parents

Do:
• Stay calm and curious
• Use age-appropriate language
• Encourage kids to talk openly
• Set healthy tech boundaries

Don’t:
• Overexpose them to news
• Downplay their feelings
• Use scare tactics

🤍 💔🤍
you are NOT alone
We are here for you.

09/12/2025

Never forget.

We are here for you.